Some things in college life have left me skeptical or should I call them issues that make my jaws hit the ground ?
After already mentioning the amount of metal (a.k.a junk jewelry) on girls in a previous post, the issue that has me pondering now is of synchronous colors ! Seems like the "matching- matching" fever would never leave the city. Everything from the hair clip to the footwear seems to be of the same color as their clothes. To top it all, some even go to the extent of wearing the same shade of nail polish and lipstick and if possible and considering availability, flowers too! Have I mentioned that how strong perfumes and fragrances put me off ?
On questioning a patient (read as college going girl) why she was holding her books in her hands, she claimed to not own a bag matching her clothes ! Hmph ! I mean, how can they do it every single day ?!?
I don't say that its wrong to get dressed up.But shouldn't one keep the place and occasion in mind? And that doesn't mean that I don't like to apply make up or am against color cosmetics. I don't feign to be plain Jane either. I admit, I feel incomplete without my eyes darkened with that line of kajal or kohl and would never miss it every morning.
Well, to wrap it up in a nutshell - I seek beauty in simplicity !

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Memories leapt out at Vikram out of his diary as he flipped the memoirs in ink. Sitting at his oak paneled study, elbows propped up against the smooth wood, fingers knit together and eyes absorbing all that they could in the harsh light against the diary.

October 27th 2004
... Maldives is so beautiful. Every minute spent here is going to be etched in my memory. The calm beaches, the mellow wind and of course Rina.I love everything about her. That smooth skin, that mysterious smile,those dark eyes, that lovely dimple, the shy laughter.. Thank you God for having entwined our lives.....

August 11th 2005
We just moved into this new palace of a house. Rina has so tastefully furnished it. But still, she should have listened to me about that lighting idea. The room looks a little too dull and gloomy. Well, yeah, we had a fight. i can't bear to see those eyes teary. Let me go and cheer her up...

October 23rd 2005
.... Its our first anniversary today. We went to the temple and just returned. Can't tell you how happy I am today. I hope this joy lasts forever. I never could want anything else in life. I'm so content. Must get ready now for the party. Rina's already ready....

December 8th 2005
.... Rina is 3 months pregnant. I can't believe there is going to be a little Vikram/Rina soon in this house. Must start working on those name and nappy issues. She wants a girl though...

Vikram turned a fresh page in his diary to chronicle a new entry. His hands trembled as he held the pen against the paper. He couldn't form the words. They somehow seemed to refuse to get to his hands from his head. He leaned back against the leather chair and closed his eyes tight. He let the tears flow. He was enveloped by memories. Sounds filled his ears. Her laughter, her voice, screaming, noises and bang the crying of an infant.

July 1st 2006
Rina left the world today and all I have is her token of love to me that looks so much like her. I miss you !

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"As the exams near, the frequency of posts increase exponentially"
- The Bloggers Rule

Study holidays make a great time to watch movies, socialize, chat, blog, sleep longer hours and yes, try to include dusting books, and taking copies of notes too ! I'm sure I'll burn a huge hole in my dad's pocket with the amount I'm spending on Xerox.

Anyways, on the weather front, this year is no different from the last. Those of you who have frequented this place would know about my Relief Camp!! Tinkerbells has become a bad cat now. Being fat and thrashing others seem to have become his passion or rather obssession. He pawed a little girl when she tottered to him with a bowl of milk in the rain. And yes, he still hasn't learnt to climb a tree (being a bit fat lump of flesh, how can he). I see a few kittens on the tree branches from my window meowing all night with Tinkerbells sitting guard under the tree. I must introduce him to my dogs sometime!

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The last fortnight of the semesters are usually hectic, with every laboratory staff demanding for the record and observation book to be signed. Sounds simple if you're not the procrastinating types. I'm in the last lap of my record-a-thon. Finally my room is not zooming with A4 sheets anymore. And I don't have any brothers like Sagaro who'd offer a hand atleast at drawing those boxes in the microprocessor record! (hmph!)
The most dreaded, uninvited exams commence in about 3 week's time and the rate of my cribbing would touch its zenith in a week atleast ! So, I'll give you all some peace and not post anything until the kids next door stop bursting crackers !
Anyways let's look at the brighter end of week. Diwali of course ! No lectures on Child labour ! (Do buy crackers- atleast the kids would get the money for all those nauseous toxins they work hours with, to give us those few seconds of happiness !)
I'd like to wish everyone reading this a colorful, prosperous and a happy diwali !
I'll bug you all after diwali, till then, eat all the sweets you can and get fat.
P.s: This blog is best viewed in Firefox

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A fortnight back I got this big urge to get my ear pierced for a second earring. No particular reason, but I just felt like it.
I was all excited until I reached the place and saw the look on others faces while they got their piercing done. The way they cringed and oww'ed and yelped, pushed my morale down my gut. But then pain gives pleasure at times and I reminded myself how this was my sole decision. So I sat down cross legged in front of the man who was to take a chunk (ahem!) of my flesh. Some cream(supposedly) was oozed in order to ease the pain. Seeing the look on my face that read -"Finish-the-damn-thing-fast" he held the cold metal earring against my skin and pressed. A sharp spasm of pain ran through my neck and I was squeezing my mother's palm as tightly as I could. My eyes were shut so tightly that I was sure I'd have tears in my eyes. But no! Before I could curse him for the useless anesthesia he gave, he said "Aachu, andha side" (finished, the other side now) Seeing the expression on my face, he turned my head to the other side and repeated the same thing. Did the man have no sympathy ?It was no better this time. And before I could comment on his lack of sensibility and the likes, the ordeal was over. I got up and gingerly touched my ear lobe. I felt nothing then, but after an hour or so, the so called pain started. They say it lasts for a week or so.
But I'm happy that I got what I like and good things don't come easy ! And today I agree that pain can give pleasure too!

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Prelude :- Its been ages since I handled a tag. Please bear with me ! Of course its also been quite a while since I put up a post, kindly adjust for that as well ! (:d)

Weird Quotient-1 : I have to clean out my entire room and get rid of something atleast in order to sit and spend some quality studying time ! (this happens very rarely though)

WQ-2 : I have to wear atleast 2 rings in my fingers. I can't write properly otherwise !

WQ-3 : I hate it when people ask me to repeat myself. (I have a low tolerance level) (just filling points... proceed on )

WQ-4 : I check my height and weight everyday ! (:p)

WQ-5 : Looking at everyone saying that they are talkative and can keep yakking, I find it weird to say that I'm not the really talkative types. I can get mundanely silent at times! (at times only!!!)

WQ-6 : And of course with so many people listing out their weird qualities, I feel I am pretty much sane and normal ! I find it weird to say that I'm weird !

And as usual, I'm not going to tag anyone and save the rest from the trouble. But in case you have nothing else to post, thou art most welcome to take up this tag! Amen !

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She had always been the serene, non-troublesome, obedient and disciplined child that most parents wished for. She was all that everyone wanted her to be, not for herself, not for them, she never knew why. She was like a chameleon, disappearing into the background. Infact it took people a while to take in her presence while being in the same room as her.
The quiet child that she had been, nobody was able to point out with a precision as to when the silence had crept its way into her and rendered her mute. It had been a process in stealth. The surprising part was that the silence had never been accusing or intrusive. Neither had the silence been loud enough to acknowledge her presence. But the moment it arrived, it spread and consumed her.
Over years, the accusing silence blend itself into the surroundings and the physical presence was so meager that none realized when the eternal silence came. Much sooner than she anticipated. It all began and ended in an absolute zilch.

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Before anyone can ask, yes I feel a lot better and saner!
A wonderful fortnight of holidays comes to an end on wednesday and I can proudly say that I've no clue where my books are. All the pending work gets reminded only the night before and I stare blankly when people ask me - "What did you do during the holidays then?"

Anyways moving on, it really irritates me when people ask me about the comments on my blog. Yes. Initially one blogs for comments, all the "I blog for my satisfaction" is an absolute piece of farce. Who doesn't want that? But infact after being here for almost 2 years (technically) I've grown immune to the number of comments , not that I don't want them, I do value your opinion; but the number really doesn't matter to me now.
I've also been noticing that the length of my posts have been gradually increasing. If you've been around for long you'd know that I don't really pen down long posts. But now that I am, I'm liking it !
I've also been trying to tweak around with a different template, but its not turning out the way I want it. So that has to wait.
Thanks to Navratri and the celebrations, I met a few long lost kith and kins and spent some quality time with them.
Now I really wish that this semester comes to an end really soon.
*A proper post would follow soon*

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Update 2 :- I was so lost in my thoughts that I forgot my own words, thanks Aravind for reminding ! :)
Update:- After smashing a candle stand, I feel much better. Thanks anyways! (:d)

There are these moments in my life that literally push me to the extent of thinking of my existence in this world. They make me question the truth and refuse to accept reality. And when these moments materialize before my eyes, I feel as if my character is getting altered to accommodate all that I wish not to.
Like a stone thrown in a calm lake, my neatly messed up mind is all rattled now. There are thoughts mostly useless and unnecessary that are swirling around in my mind like the foggy nights of winter. I'm wearing my temper on my sleeve and am lashing my words like a whip. Angry. Irritated. Melancholy.Disturbed.Sombre. Lonely. Emotional. Am totally at a low ebb. I'm not a very talkative person, especially about my emotions. But there are a few who can literally jog my mind before I voice it. They read my face, distinguish that tone in my voice, see that dampness amongst nothing in my eyes, comfort as I talk dumb words. They mean the world to me.
If this post made no sense to you, or if you think why I'm cribbing all this, I don't really care to be emphatic and explain myself now. If u still have faith in me,stand by, else flee.

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For everything I've said and done,

For everything that made you run,

Everytime I hurt you bad

I'm sorry, I can't see you sad.


Now I'm mild & meek,

Forgiveness is all I seek,

I cast my eyes upon the ground,

Twiddle my thumbs, not making the slightest of sound.


I don't want to run, escape or hide !

I confront you dumb & mute

I'm so tongue-tied
And so I plead with only the soul so resolute.

You smile, I stutter

My limbs start to flutter

And all I have on my lips now is a simple Sorry.

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Dear God, in humbleness we pray to thee,
Show us your kindness and listen to our plea,
Someday, even the mightiest mountains may bend
But that day, pray, do not render us without a friend.
Someday, even the vast oceans may go dry,
But let not our hopes for the other go awry.
Someday, the sun may delve forever into the horizon
But let us embark on our journey, always in unison.
Someday, the green trees may all wither and choke,
But even then, let us be cozy in friendship's warm cloak.
Someday, the air itself will go thin and dissolve
But we will always hope for each other, this we resolve.
Someday, when all may seem lost and impossible
God, solve our problems and make the realities plausible
Someday, the world will rip itself apart in war
But even then we shall not be apart.
Wherever we are, whoever we may be
Whatever the time, however we may be
We shall live forever as friends, always together,
With love so strong and hopes for each other.

Psst: Am onto a poetry spree. Please put up with me ! Dedicated to a beloved friend, with love !

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She said,

I asked, you gave
I misunderstood
I did not listen, I heard
I lacked analysis
I was selfish
I became someone else
I ignored you
I blame myself
I underestimated us
I lost you
I lost my identity


He said,

You asked, I gave
I explained
I spoke
I judged
I was selfless
I searched your soul
You were gone
There is none to blame
I expected more
I sacrificed
I transform

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She ran as fast as her legs would carry her on the hot sun-burnt field. The rain starved coarse earth made ruthless marks on the pink sole of her soft feet. Her silver anklets and glass bangles clinked in rhythm as she sped. She cut across all those green and yellow grasses that had grown almost as tall as her, making her way to where her secret lay. The wind laden with the fresh aura of the greenery and fertility caressed her soft face and lifted her long plait a few feet behind her waist. The lofty side curls bounced against the side of her face as she reduced her momentum and halted to an abrupt stop near the third scare crow from the right.
She bent over to its side and leaned over to check for any suspicious eyes. None. She opened the hay stuffed bag by the side and delved her hand deep inside to retrieve the letter her beloved had sent.After reading the scrawled handwriting for the nth time, she ran towards the muddy road and waited for the lone bus to arrive, of course late as usual.
The day had finally arrived. Her love was coming back !

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Manasa and Meghana aged 6 and 2 respectively, were the apple of their father's eyes. Bringing up the girls alone was a difficult task indeed for Mahesh. His wife passed away the moment Meghana came into this world. She was a replica of her mother with the same big fish like eyes and a dimple on the left cheek. Little Meghu always reminded Mahesh of his wife. He showered all the love in the world on his little girls. He didn't want them to feel the absence of their mother. But, Manasa was the mother's darling. She felt empty and always believed that she lost her mother because of her little sister. She used to take sadistic pleasure in pinching Meghana and seeing her cry. She wanted to be the centre of attention. But she found her father spending more time with her little sister and felt as if he was ignoring her. Manasa secluded herself from the two and spoke very less.
One fine morning, Mahesh saw Manasa steathily walk upto Meghana's room. Suspecting his elder one's actions, he followed her and saw her poke Meghana with a sharp pencil. The little one immediately shook out of its stupor and started wailing. Mahesh stopped Manasa in her tracks and slapped her for her insensitive behavior towards the child.
"I demand an explanation from you Manasa and I want it right now. " said Mahesh in a firm authoritative tone.
Manasa vented all her built-in fury. She screamed pointing at the wailing child "She sent Mummy to God, she killed my Mummy and ever since she came you have started hating me. You didn't congratulate me for coming first in class, you didn't come for my school anniversary program, you didn't....." and she burst into tears.
Mahesh immediately understood the girl's insecurity and kneeled down in front of her. Cupping her cherubic face in his hands, Mahesh said- "You are always special to me Manu, my eldest sweetheart. Its not that I don't love you, your sister needs my attention right now. I thought my Manu has become big enough to manage on her own. Both of your are like my 2 eyes, I can never say that I like only my left eye. You had your mother's love for 4 years of your life, your sister is deprived of that too. But she is so lucky to have a lovely big sister like you. Don't you have to make her feel special?"
At that very moment, Meghana climbed down her crib and tugged Manu's frock and in her baby language said "mama.. maaa"
Meghana picked up her little sister wiped her tears and said -" I'm sorry for everything Meghani, I'll be your mama from now, you're the angel God sent instead of Mama"
Mahesh looked at his 2 girls and a small tear escaped his eyes.

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Me: Why now pa?
Dad: Why not now ? Earlier the better.
Me: Seri ok, but still I won't have the time for it.
Dad: Its just for 45 minutes a day, not the whole day ramya !
Me: But still, I'll have to wake up early every morning pa.
Dad: You can always sleep after you come back na?
Me: err... But still...
Dad: Epdiyum leave la vettiya thaane irukka? Car oatta kathunda enna ?
Me: !!!!!

And that's how my dad coaxed me into going for car driving lessons during my semester holidays and today; a month later, I'm typing this post with a beatific and proud smile on my face after clearing the driving test and holding the laminated card in one hand !

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From atop the bed, little Anandita asked her mother "Amma, do I really have to go?"
"Anu, it'll be great, trust me! You'll love your new school" said her mother as she parted her little one's hair and tied a ponytail on either side.
As she picked up the crisply ironed new grey and black pinafore and matching grey sock, Anandita remarked again, "Amma, will you come to pick me up in the evening?"
"Sure darling, I'll be there at the gates at 2 sharp" said the mother quickly stuffing chutney coated idlis into the constantly talking mouth.
With her water bottle sling on one side and a new bag hoisted firmly on her shoulders, Anandita said her prayers and before she could open her eyes, her father was carrying her to the car.
At the school gates, Anandita couldn't contain her tears.
"Big girls don't cry" reminded her mother.
Pulling her crutch together, little Anandita walked through the gates to her "School for the Disabled"

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The more I try to be committed to blogging, the more enforced seem the posts. But for quite a while I seem to be suffering from what most of the fellow bloggers also do at some point or the other- the writer's block! I really appreciate the commitment with which certain people put up posts every single day without fail and kudos to the ones who religiously read them and comment!
But I promise to come up with something during the weekend and hopefully not a rusted piece of nothing !

A tag sounds so promising now !

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I've come across several characters in the last 18 years of my life. Some have made an impact, some have influenced me, some have just passed by, some have incurred my wrath, and a few are slotted in the top rung of my ladder of friends. A special place indeed.
According to me, friendship doesn't mean to be sticking together all day. The real test of friendship is the ability of a friend to rekindle the fire even after ages.

A bit of ego we might have had,
Numerous fights, some happy some sad,
Those lovely moments,
The many quarrels,
The various squabbles that are yet to come,
Making friendship even stronger in the long run.

I'm sure there will be more people walking in and out of my life. The above statements were made out of my little encounters with the souls branded as friends in my time of existence.

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She sat in anxiety, waiting for her beloved,
Days crossed plenty, emotions vast and myriad.
Said he-"I'll be back soon"
She kept waiting, never did come soon.

The last step towards the point of no visibility,
Words played traitors to their own hearts
The sharp sting of seperation like darts
Was too ravenous to counter their patient ability.

Bound they still were by words of hope,
Times were getting tough and hard to cope
Having lost their self to the other,
Still she waits, with just words to smother.

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I wanted this to be really special. I was thinking of a different way to put this up. I squeezed my pea-sized brain for ideas. The thought always lingered at the back of my head, no matter how important other things were. But still the ideas remained constipated in my mind.
Everytime I thought I had something good in the process, the thought failed to mature beyond a certain level and I would be back to the same place with a blank head. The thought my blog turning into a Nothings & more Nothings led me to desperation. I started to feel guilty that I was doing injustice to this space. I would religiously visit this baby of mine everyday, look at the shoutbox which has now successfully transformed into a spambox. The statcounter was going good. The comments were less, but steady.
And now at the end of it all this sounds like utter fiction and probably crap too.
But this milestone is special to me.
Yes, this is my 100th post !

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