14
Of weddings & pomposity
The 20’s is an exciting age to be in. Since my social life has been sadly reduced to Facebook and Twitter updates, I spend enormous amounts of time gawking (read stalking) at friends’ photos on Facebook. The lanky girl with the oiled hair effortlessly works a smart Posh Spice bob and wears designer boots. The pimple-faced, sacred-ash smeared boy sports a curly mane large enough to house half a dozen sparrows. His sacred thread is probably neatly tucked away in his closet. But arguably the best form of entertainment is derived from viewing wedding pictures, especially when you have a roommate to gush and giggle over with.
It has been almost 5 years since there has been a wedding in my family and when there is one coming up, I can only imagine the adrenaline rush that drives my family to the ends of their nerves. And trust me when I say we have short nerves. Weddings in my family have always been about a lot of smoke generation, teary-eyed’ness (partially attributed to the smoke), prostrating, sacred-ash smearing, hand-shaking and feeding the same 600 odd people three times a day for three days. Amidst all this drama, silk-clad aunties tactfully find opportune moments to campaign for their NRI sons at these events.
But looks like a lot has changed on the wedding scene over the years. Ceremonies are no longer the solemn occasions that they used to be. People are trying too hard to add their own personal touch to every little detail and are willing to go to any extent to make the event as ostentatious as possible. The entire event feels less ritualistic and more choreographed. Families are now more open to the concept of Mehndi, Sangeet and Cocktail parties as opposed to making the groom ride in a rickety red convertible car along with half a dozen wailing kids during the Jaanavasam. The kalyana mandapam (Marriage Hall) concept seems to have revolutionized as well. The venues with their flowy fabrics and soft lighting now look like an elaborate set straight out of a Shankar-directed song sequence. Light music during the reception is no longer considered cool. In fact, it represents cheap taste in music. The trend now is to rope in good-looking playback singers who sing contemporary classical songs and on request, their film tracks as well. The more fashionable families do DJ's especially when alcohol shares the space. Events of the latter kind usually culminate in orgies.
The bride and groom wear ethnic designer labels and no longer do the "groom's hand on bride's shoulder while she sits on a chair" pose. They now reflect scenes out of a Yash-Raj movie. DSLR's zoom in on the mangal-sutra (which would be hung next to the sacred thread in the future), intertwined fingers of the newlyweds and the backless blouse of the bride with the cheeky tattoo peeking out. Leaving the hair untied is no longer objected by paatis, but might not go too well if your prospective mother-in-law is decided from the same episode. Navel showing and skimpy blouse donning are still considered a sin. The bride & groom’s coolness quotient is judged by the number of foreigner friends who attend the wedding. The family’s social status is measured by the number of movie stars and the amount of time for which they are in attendance.
Sure, I agree that the Indian wedding scenario has totally been pimped up over the years. There is nothing wrong in going that extra mile to make your day extraordinary. But, when you begin to lose yourself in the process of making others awe and drop their jaws, how do you think it would remain special to you? Somehow, I think I am way too practical to indulge in such an annoying display of pomp. You never know!
It has been almost 5 years since there has been a wedding in my family and when there is one coming up, I can only imagine the adrenaline rush that drives my family to the ends of their nerves. And trust me when I say we have short nerves. Weddings in my family have always been about a lot of smoke generation, teary-eyed’ness (partially attributed to the smoke), prostrating, sacred-ash smearing, hand-shaking and feeding the same 600 odd people three times a day for three days. Amidst all this drama, silk-clad aunties tactfully find opportune moments to campaign for their NRI sons at these events.
But looks like a lot has changed on the wedding scene over the years. Ceremonies are no longer the solemn occasions that they used to be. People are trying too hard to add their own personal touch to every little detail and are willing to go to any extent to make the event as ostentatious as possible. The entire event feels less ritualistic and more choreographed. Families are now more open to the concept of Mehndi, Sangeet and Cocktail parties as opposed to making the groom ride in a rickety red convertible car along with half a dozen wailing kids during the Jaanavasam. The kalyana mandapam (Marriage Hall) concept seems to have revolutionized as well. The venues with their flowy fabrics and soft lighting now look like an elaborate set straight out of a Shankar-directed song sequence. Light music during the reception is no longer considered cool. In fact, it represents cheap taste in music. The trend now is to rope in good-looking playback singers who sing contemporary classical songs and on request, their film tracks as well. The more fashionable families do DJ's especially when alcohol shares the space. Events of the latter kind usually culminate in orgies.
The bride and groom wear ethnic designer labels and no longer do the "groom's hand on bride's shoulder while she sits on a chair" pose. They now reflect scenes out of a Yash-Raj movie. DSLR's zoom in on the mangal-sutra (which would be hung next to the sacred thread in the future), intertwined fingers of the newlyweds and the backless blouse of the bride with the cheeky tattoo peeking out. Leaving the hair untied is no longer objected by paatis, but might not go too well if your prospective mother-in-law is decided from the same episode. Navel showing and skimpy blouse donning are still considered a sin. The bride & groom’s coolness quotient is judged by the number of foreigner friends who attend the wedding. The family’s social status is measured by the number of movie stars and the amount of time for which they are in attendance.
Sure, I agree that the Indian wedding scenario has totally been pimped up over the years. There is nothing wrong in going that extra mile to make your day extraordinary. But, when you begin to lose yourself in the process of making others awe and drop their jaws, how do you think it would remain special to you? Somehow, I think I am way too practical to indulge in such an annoying display of pomp. You never know!
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