What happens when you feel totally disoriented and low in life ?
You either post like this and make sure nobody understands or you decide to live through it and come out stronger, happier and all the more hyper dyperly recharged. I decided to do both ! :D
Get some animated character to throw a treat, crash there, and make them talk their brains out and leave him/her feeling "fundamentally screwed" :D You get good food plus entertainment for free !

And yes, if all you bloggers have nothing productive to do next Saturday, Crash here and end 2006 in a bajjistic way. Even if you have anything productive to do on the 30th, chuck it and land up at the Besant Nagar beach, spot the noisiest bunch of people near the police booth opposite to Cozy and join them wide eyed.
I've been to a small-scale-bajji-meet and can personally vouch for it to turn out to be an amazing fun experience ! If you have nothing to say, just nod to whatever others say, smile sheepishly and gobble those bajjis !

For Dumbos - CLICK HERE

P.S : Yes, I've decided to make bold statements ! :D :D

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Warning : This post is filled with pessimism and negative emotions. The reason is for me to vent it and for you not to take it personally ! Amen ! Now read it fellow banshees ! :D

What happens when you create an impression on people ? You are expected to live upto it everytime and if you happen to degrade, your life is made miserable and worth perishing. So does that mean one has to underplay everytime. Life can't be put on stealth settings. We are always expected to do things and expectations lead to disappointments most of the times.
I've mentioned a lot about hope during the course of my posts and as I write and experience more, I realize that hope is a misnomer. Everyone in this world is a selfish soul. They want only things done for themselves. They would contact you only with a reason. All I ask is, what is wrong in keeping in touch? Lack of time? Absolute crap. How long does it take to drop in a "how are u?" Obviously I wouldn't flourish you with a long screed like reply for that! Selfish and reckless souls. And why, most of them won't even comment on such posts. Guilt strikes I suppose? They'd have 14327 reasons ready at hand to attack you with, before you could ask why! And they'd even call you jobless to keep in touch. Well, if I have to pretend to be "busy" or appear aloof, I'd rather not get in touch with anyone.
This haughty attitude of people pisses me off so much.
Go party people ! The whining is done. The heart remains cleansed and pure as ever!

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I know I'm sitting jobless and still have a trillion and a half things running on my mind. My current state of mind is so haphazard that I can't even bring it out in the form of words. No no, these aren't my mood swings. Call it multi-tasking, a writer's block or simply the lack of ability to streamline one's thoughts and think coherently to put up a proper post. In simple words, call it just an excuse.
The rate at which am watching movies has reached its zenith and the rate of socializing and networking has perfectly balanced my state of ennui. With the newly acquired musical collection, I couldn't be more busy!
Have you ever felt that you could be surrounded by a huge group of chattering people, yet felt lonesome ? And be with one person and find hours evaporating into seconds ? (Chi chi, not lowe, perverts!)
And why is it that when you need people around, all of them are either busy or not reachable or are onto things that obviously make u feel measly.
I don't wish to live in this moment !
Hope is a misnomer !

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One of the most eagerly awaited event for all PSBB'ians used to be the yearly anniversaries that were(are) conducted religiously at the Kamaraj Memorial Hall. It was looked forward not to showcase our pathetic theatrical skills, not even for the additional 2 marks that would increase our abysmally low mid-term scores,  neither to prove ourselves the best of the 3 branches and not even to grab an opportunity to disappear from those monotonous social science classes; but just for the sheer heck of it. Being a face in the crowd, and getting acclaimed (as the little speck in the crowd!) provided the much required boost to our deflated egos.

I'm sort of proud to declare that I used to participate every year and enjoyed every moment of it. Or so I thought! I still don't know what to do with all those ridiculous costumes. I don't have the heart to get rid of it. I remember the way teachers used to goad us into participating by telling us that the play would be a disaster if there was just Cruella and no puppies. And we used to wag our backsides all day in the name of rehearsals ! Of course the popular senior whose parent was friends with the dean got the role of Cruella. And boy, was she good!

During the 3 day event, the opulent celebrities sat in the front row wearing their plastic smiles throughout the coruscating performaces, while parents swooned in the audience at the sight of their son/daughter playing the dalmation pup! (Though I'm sure they had no clue as to which one was theirs!) As for us, we sat huddled backstage wearing our comical costumes and a pungent layer of make-up that made us look like baboons and added to our teenage skin issues. By the time we'd go on stage, all the make-up would have formed sweaty patches and we'd look nothing like cute puppies but more like leprosy patients.

Despite all the rigmarole that it was, it all seems like an epoch now. From being a face in the crowd to becoming the snooty senior who played the lead role, I've somehow enjoyed every minute of my fame.

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From throwing tantrums as a toddler,

To bratting around on my bicycle as a 10 year old,

Having the first real crush* at 15,

Today, turning 19 doesn't seem such a big deal at all !

Chocolate cakes anyone? :D

*Questions pertaining as to who it was, are strictly prohibited ! :D :D

Thanks Visithra and Pree

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She spread her hands on either sides away from her body and kept it in line with her slender shoulders with her palms facing upwards. A long breath escaped her lungs. She inhaled the sweet intoxicating smell of the damp earth beneath her feet. The fresh ubiquitous aroma filled her lungs and released a new wave of energy from inside her that traveled to every inch of her body. She was in a trance. She squished her foot into the mucky mud and curled her toes inwards taking in a lump of mud between her toes. Her eyes saw the beauty enveloping her and there was so much to see. She closed her eyes and let out a huge breath of content. At that very moment, she felt the first few drops of rain on her face trickling down her smooth skin onto her neck.

Her palms cupped instantly to puddle little of the purest form of water. She tried to hold them, but they trickled down from between her fingers. Her clothes stuck to her body as if they were her second skin. She could take it no more. It was an entirely euphoric moment.


And when she opened her eyes a few minutes later, there were half a dozen people gaping at her from the bus stop.


Pic Courtesy : Fotosearch

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"Alright, I've had enough ! Stop it", she screamed !
"Oh come on, just this once ! What's wrong with you now?" I coaxed her for more.
This once? Don't you remember the last time you colored me ? Burgundy streaks to make you look more chic. Atleast that's what you claimed ! Now you want it highlighted blonde. Did you even take a look at how much volume you have lost in the last few years? What all tortures you put me through ! You straightened me for your 21st birthday,you wanted a new look to begin your 20's. You permed me because your loverboy thought your face looked too oblong with straight hair. Beautiful curls everyone cooed in. Once you started working, maintaining the curls became too much of a pain. You got it undone and did the layer cut which the stylist blew totally and I looked as if a rat had played with me. You'd keep chucking a clump of strands behind your ears till I'd be damp from sweat. You would chew me when your anxious, bind me with all those fancy clips, let me fly when you're on the bike. Serums and lotions you applied to manage me, but I asked for none. Shampoos and conditioners galore you used, thinking none suited your texture. Rebonding is the only solution someone suggested and you blew half your salary with that. I longed for the hot oil massage and a good rinse, and you gave me vinegar, mehandi, eggs, curd, lemon and even beer in return ! And now you ask me what's wrong?
I call it a bad hair day !

P.s : The I above isn't me ! :D

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Some things in college life have left me skeptical or should I call them issues that make my jaws hit the ground ?
After already mentioning the amount of metal (a.k.a junk jewelry) on girls in a previous post, the issue that has me pondering now is of synchronous colors ! Seems like the "matching- matching" fever would never leave the city. Everything from the hair clip to the footwear seems to be of the same color as their clothes. To top it all, some even go to the extent of wearing the same shade of nail polish and lipstick and if possible and considering availability, flowers too! Have I mentioned that how strong perfumes and fragrances put me off ?
On questioning a patient (read as college going girl) why she was holding her books in her hands, she claimed to not own a bag matching her clothes ! Hmph ! I mean, how can they do it every single day ?!?
I don't say that its wrong to get dressed up.But shouldn't one keep the place and occasion in mind? And that doesn't mean that I don't like to apply make up or am against color cosmetics. I don't feign to be plain Jane either. I admit, I feel incomplete without my eyes darkened with that line of kajal or kohl and would never miss it every morning.
Well, to wrap it up in a nutshell - I seek beauty in simplicity !

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Memories leapt out at Vikram out of his diary as he flipped the memoirs in ink. Sitting at his oak paneled study, elbows propped up against the smooth wood, fingers knit together and eyes absorbing all that they could in the harsh light against the diary.

October 27th 2004
... Maldives is so beautiful. Every minute spent here is going to be etched in my memory. The calm beaches, the mellow wind and of course Rina.I love everything about her. That smooth skin, that mysterious smile,those dark eyes, that lovely dimple, the shy laughter.. Thank you God for having entwined our lives.....

August 11th 2005
We just moved into this new palace of a house. Rina has so tastefully furnished it. But still, she should have listened to me about that lighting idea. The room looks a little too dull and gloomy. Well, yeah, we had a fight. i can't bear to see those eyes teary. Let me go and cheer her up...

October 23rd 2005
.... Its our first anniversary today. We went to the temple and just returned. Can't tell you how happy I am today. I hope this joy lasts forever. I never could want anything else in life. I'm so content. Must get ready now for the party. Rina's already ready....

December 8th 2005
.... Rina is 3 months pregnant. I can't believe there is going to be a little Vikram/Rina soon in this house. Must start working on those name and nappy issues. She wants a girl though...

Vikram turned a fresh page in his diary to chronicle a new entry. His hands trembled as he held the pen against the paper. He couldn't form the words. They somehow seemed to refuse to get to his hands from his head. He leaned back against the leather chair and closed his eyes tight. He let the tears flow. He was enveloped by memories. Sounds filled his ears. Her laughter, her voice, screaming, noises and bang the crying of an infant.

July 1st 2006
Rina left the world today and all I have is her token of love to me that looks so much like her. I miss you !

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"As the exams near, the frequency of posts increase exponentially"
- The Bloggers Rule

Study holidays make a great time to watch movies, socialize, chat, blog, sleep longer hours and yes, try to include dusting books, and taking copies of notes too ! I'm sure I'll burn a huge hole in my dad's pocket with the amount I'm spending on Xerox.

Anyways, on the weather front, this year is no different from the last. Those of you who have frequented this place would know about my Relief Camp!! Tinkerbells has become a bad cat now. Being fat and thrashing others seem to have become his passion or rather obssession. He pawed a little girl when she tottered to him with a bowl of milk in the rain. And yes, he still hasn't learnt to climb a tree (being a bit fat lump of flesh, how can he). I see a few kittens on the tree branches from my window meowing all night with Tinkerbells sitting guard under the tree. I must introduce him to my dogs sometime!

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The last fortnight of the semesters are usually hectic, with every laboratory staff demanding for the record and observation book to be signed. Sounds simple if you're not the procrastinating types. I'm in the last lap of my record-a-thon. Finally my room is not zooming with A4 sheets anymore. And I don't have any brothers like Sagaro who'd offer a hand atleast at drawing those boxes in the microprocessor record! (hmph!)
The most dreaded, uninvited exams commence in about 3 week's time and the rate of my cribbing would touch its zenith in a week atleast ! So, I'll give you all some peace and not post anything until the kids next door stop bursting crackers !
Anyways let's look at the brighter end of week. Diwali of course ! No lectures on Child labour ! (Do buy crackers- atleast the kids would get the money for all those nauseous toxins they work hours with, to give us those few seconds of happiness !)
I'd like to wish everyone reading this a colorful, prosperous and a happy diwali !
I'll bug you all after diwali, till then, eat all the sweets you can and get fat.
P.s: This blog is best viewed in Firefox

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A fortnight back I got this big urge to get my ear pierced for a second earring. No particular reason, but I just felt like it.
I was all excited until I reached the place and saw the look on others faces while they got their piercing done. The way they cringed and oww'ed and yelped, pushed my morale down my gut. But then pain gives pleasure at times and I reminded myself how this was my sole decision. So I sat down cross legged in front of the man who was to take a chunk (ahem!) of my flesh. Some cream(supposedly) was oozed in order to ease the pain. Seeing the look on my face that read -"Finish-the-damn-thing-fast" he held the cold metal earring against my skin and pressed. A sharp spasm of pain ran through my neck and I was squeezing my mother's palm as tightly as I could. My eyes were shut so tightly that I was sure I'd have tears in my eyes. But no! Before I could curse him for the useless anesthesia he gave, he said "Aachu, andha side" (finished, the other side now) Seeing the expression on my face, he turned my head to the other side and repeated the same thing. Did the man have no sympathy ?It was no better this time. And before I could comment on his lack of sensibility and the likes, the ordeal was over. I got up and gingerly touched my ear lobe. I felt nothing then, but after an hour or so, the so called pain started. They say it lasts for a week or so.
But I'm happy that I got what I like and good things don't come easy ! And today I agree that pain can give pleasure too!

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Prelude :- Its been ages since I handled a tag. Please bear with me ! Of course its also been quite a while since I put up a post, kindly adjust for that as well ! (:d)

Weird Quotient-1 : I have to clean out my entire room and get rid of something atleast in order to sit and spend some quality studying time ! (this happens very rarely though)

WQ-2 : I have to wear atleast 2 rings in my fingers. I can't write properly otherwise !

WQ-3 : I hate it when people ask me to repeat myself. (I have a low tolerance level) (just filling points... proceed on )

WQ-4 : I check my height and weight everyday ! (:p)

WQ-5 : Looking at everyone saying that they are talkative and can keep yakking, I find it weird to say that I'm not the really talkative types. I can get mundanely silent at times! (at times only!!!)

WQ-6 : And of course with so many people listing out their weird qualities, I feel I am pretty much sane and normal ! I find it weird to say that I'm weird !

And as usual, I'm not going to tag anyone and save the rest from the trouble. But in case you have nothing else to post, thou art most welcome to take up this tag! Amen !

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She had always been the serene, non-troublesome, obedient and disciplined child that most parents wished for. She was all that everyone wanted her to be, not for herself, not for them, she never knew why. She was like a chameleon, disappearing into the background. Infact it took people a while to take in her presence while being in the same room as her.
The quiet child that she had been, nobody was able to point out with a precision as to when the silence had crept its way into her and rendered her mute. It had been a process in stealth. The surprising part was that the silence had never been accusing or intrusive. Neither had the silence been loud enough to acknowledge her presence. But the moment it arrived, it spread and consumed her.
Over years, the accusing silence blend itself into the surroundings and the physical presence was so meager that none realized when the eternal silence came. Much sooner than she anticipated. It all began and ended in an absolute zilch.

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Before anyone can ask, yes I feel a lot better and saner!
A wonderful fortnight of holidays comes to an end on wednesday and I can proudly say that I've no clue where my books are. All the pending work gets reminded only the night before and I stare blankly when people ask me - "What did you do during the holidays then?"

Anyways moving on, it really irritates me when people ask me about the comments on my blog. Yes. Initially one blogs for comments, all the "I blog for my satisfaction" is an absolute piece of farce. Who doesn't want that? But infact after being here for almost 2 years (technically) I've grown immune to the number of comments , not that I don't want them, I do value your opinion; but the number really doesn't matter to me now.
I've also been noticing that the length of my posts have been gradually increasing. If you've been around for long you'd know that I don't really pen down long posts. But now that I am, I'm liking it !
I've also been trying to tweak around with a different template, but its not turning out the way I want it. So that has to wait.
Thanks to Navratri and the celebrations, I met a few long lost kith and kins and spent some quality time with them.
Now I really wish that this semester comes to an end really soon.
*A proper post would follow soon*

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Update 2 :- I was so lost in my thoughts that I forgot my own words, thanks Aravind for reminding ! :)
Update:- After smashing a candle stand, I feel much better. Thanks anyways! (:d)

There are these moments in my life that literally push me to the extent of thinking of my existence in this world. They make me question the truth and refuse to accept reality. And when these moments materialize before my eyes, I feel as if my character is getting altered to accommodate all that I wish not to.
Like a stone thrown in a calm lake, my neatly messed up mind is all rattled now. There are thoughts mostly useless and unnecessary that are swirling around in my mind like the foggy nights of winter. I'm wearing my temper on my sleeve and am lashing my words like a whip. Angry. Irritated. Melancholy.Disturbed.Sombre. Lonely. Emotional. Am totally at a low ebb. I'm not a very talkative person, especially about my emotions. But there are a few who can literally jog my mind before I voice it. They read my face, distinguish that tone in my voice, see that dampness amongst nothing in my eyes, comfort as I talk dumb words. They mean the world to me.
If this post made no sense to you, or if you think why I'm cribbing all this, I don't really care to be emphatic and explain myself now. If u still have faith in me,stand by, else flee.

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For everything I've said and done,

For everything that made you run,

Everytime I hurt you bad

I'm sorry, I can't see you sad.


Now I'm mild & meek,

Forgiveness is all I seek,

I cast my eyes upon the ground,

Twiddle my thumbs, not making the slightest of sound.


I don't want to run, escape or hide !

I confront you dumb & mute

I'm so tongue-tied
And so I plead with only the soul so resolute.

You smile, I stutter

My limbs start to flutter

And all I have on my lips now is a simple Sorry.

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Dear God, in humbleness we pray to thee,
Show us your kindness and listen to our plea,
Someday, even the mightiest mountains may bend
But that day, pray, do not render us without a friend.
Someday, even the vast oceans may go dry,
But let not our hopes for the other go awry.
Someday, the sun may delve forever into the horizon
But let us embark on our journey, always in unison.
Someday, the green trees may all wither and choke,
But even then, let us be cozy in friendship's warm cloak.
Someday, the air itself will go thin and dissolve
But we will always hope for each other, this we resolve.
Someday, when all may seem lost and impossible
God, solve our problems and make the realities plausible
Someday, the world will rip itself apart in war
But even then we shall not be apart.
Wherever we are, whoever we may be
Whatever the time, however we may be
We shall live forever as friends, always together,
With love so strong and hopes for each other.

Psst: Am onto a poetry spree. Please put up with me ! Dedicated to a beloved friend, with love !

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She said,

I asked, you gave
I misunderstood
I did not listen, I heard
I lacked analysis
I was selfish
I became someone else
I ignored you
I blame myself
I underestimated us
I lost you
I lost my identity


He said,

You asked, I gave
I explained
I spoke
I judged
I was selfless
I searched your soul
You were gone
There is none to blame
I expected more
I sacrificed
I transform

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She ran as fast as her legs would carry her on the hot sun-burnt field. The rain starved coarse earth made ruthless marks on the pink sole of her soft feet. Her silver anklets and glass bangles clinked in rhythm as she sped. She cut across all those green and yellow grasses that had grown almost as tall as her, making her way to where her secret lay. The wind laden with the fresh aura of the greenery and fertility caressed her soft face and lifted her long plait a few feet behind her waist. The lofty side curls bounced against the side of her face as she reduced her momentum and halted to an abrupt stop near the third scare crow from the right.
She bent over to its side and leaned over to check for any suspicious eyes. None. She opened the hay stuffed bag by the side and delved her hand deep inside to retrieve the letter her beloved had sent.After reading the scrawled handwriting for the nth time, she ran towards the muddy road and waited for the lone bus to arrive, of course late as usual.
The day had finally arrived. Her love was coming back !

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