Are you someone who initializes a conversation ? Are you someone who takes an initiative and leads a bandwagon ? Are you someone who never (infrequently) answers in the negative ? If you answered the previous questions in affirmative, then congratulations- you're the never-say-no attitude possessor ! Kudos to you !
Well, you might think what big deal does it make really ? But then, these are the little insignificant things in life that can turn you into a significant person for someone else. Of course, we all don't have to be Mother Teresa's !
How would you feel if a person kept answering - "No", "I don't know" or began every retort contradicting your view ? A normal human definitely wouldn't feel like pursuing the conversation further, would they ?

Flip side : The pessimist could always return with an argument stating his right to talk whatever he wishes to and meanwhile expressing his dislike towards you. Point taken, but then if there were no such differences of opinions, there would be no poles, no opposites, no good, no bad ! You wouldn't have lost anything, but life is counted with what you gain, and I consider people as the biggest assets one could possess.
In case you (irrespective of where you are classified) understood, you would have done something to better yourself. If you just didn't give a damn about this post, feel free to click that little red X on the top right, well if you have something to add/contradict, the comment box is all yours!

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In the tag initiated by RS, I am required to - "Randomly select a blogger and describe about his/her blog in general and write a review on a particular post of him/her that impressed u a lot. The rules say that you aren't permitted to select the blogger who gave this tag to u."


Randomly selecting Sujith, one of the first to read my blog and comment. Sunny Days later christened I Ching, is definitely not a frequently updated / widely read blog, but then I really like the subtle and rhetoric use of words there. He's one person who picks out the unknown in the known and striking a chord with the opposites or grabbing things that people conveniently ignore has been his forte. His disagreements in the comment box always keep me at wit's end to think of a better retort. I still remember one of my first comments on his post describing some chronicles in his college, and till date I've always found I Ching that way- "Entertaining!" His post on blog-hopping and of course Goo have been one of my favorites. Variations of posts in different genres ranging from music to loud musings through which he keeps reinventing himself. The few fiction that he posts are some rare pieces. It totally changes one's idea that something good needn't be over-done. Very simple and straight. No bombastic phrases, but I accept he throws some really nice jargons.
And quoting him from one of his posts, I find his blog as a guy's orgasm of emotions. I wish you update more often !

And now comes the part I love, I tag the videshi's - Kay Kay, S0ul & Priya

For all those people who had concluded that I shall be posting only tags from now on, a proper post would follow soon !

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Bhargavi takes revenge by asking me to list out 10 things I hate about my college !

1) I've never seen the sunrise ever in my life. Commuting by the college bus has made me rise before the sun of lately!
2) The bus rides every morning and evening make me think if I would return home in one piece or return ever at all !
3) The mess food, the unclean plates and glasses have infestations that could give a creative mind lots of food for thought. And ya, we have no canteen !!
4) The barren campus, with absolutely no greenery !! Even the fauna is scared to flourish there !
5) The staff, whose vocabulary comprises only of "what" "y" "right" and "test on tomorrow" !
6) The students, who think they have the biggest attitudes in the world, but are nothing less than a bunch of snobbish dud-heads who steal stationary and money even after paying heavy donations to get a seat!
7) The rules, that deny basic human rights itself !
8) The sudden appearances of a bunch of maniacs who simply slip their hands into your bag to check for mobile phones and other censored property amongst the many forbidden within the campus!

I don't really need any more reasons to hate my college ! I've gotten used to the monotonous & moribund schedule for the last 2 years, another 2 will not make much of a difference to me ! :D

I tag Kausik , VBK & Ramanujam !

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After having recycled old post, I was totally left clueless as to what to post next, and that's when this tag comes to my rescue ! Small-wall thalaivare, thankoo ! :D

1. One thing I'm very much afraid of
Well, its not nice to publicly admit your fears, especially me, coz people are just waiting for an opportunity to pull my leg ! I don't know what it is with girls and reptiles, but yes I am scared of lizards. I just can't bear the company of being in a room with a lizard ! :D

2. Two incidents I can never forget in my life
Well if I count it as embarrassing moments, there are countless, but then if I take it as happy moments, they add up to more in number than the embarrassing ones.

3. Three books I'd love reading again and again
a) I swear by Linda Goodman
b) The Library of World Poetry
c) This list would be endless.

4) Four women who are most beautiful
Well, I believe that any woman can be beautiful if she considers herself to be so. And I have this whole idea that all models look alike with make-up ! :D

5) Five of my favorite food items
My mum and grandmum are the world's best cooks !
Anything vegetarian and spicy/tangy would qualify as a favorite cuisine ! I'm an ice-tea freak !

6) Six words you use very often
a) Enna da/di
b) Oh !
c) Bledddy ! :D
d) Damn !
e) *Beep*
f) *long beeeeeeeeeep* :D :D

7) Seven things I like about myself
The person who commented first on this post seems to know so much more than I ever knew about myself !!!!

8) Eight film personalities who are your all-time favorites
a) A.R.Rahman
b) Mani Ratnam
c) John Stamos ("Have Mercy") :D
d) Revathy
e) Kamal Hassan
f) The Big B
g) Matt LeBlanc ("How 'u doin ?") :D
i) Madhuri Dixit

9) Nine movies you don't mind watching again n again
Any Crazy-Kamal combination movies
Everything by Mani Ratnam (better when coupled with ARR)

10) Ten songs you would listen to everyday
This is real hard considering the fact that my daily play list constitutes of more than 50-70 songs.
Anything sung by ARR - Lukka Chuppi, Tere Bina

I tag Hamsini, Bhargavi, Sandhya ("alright girls, its payback time, except Bhargavi ofc! )

Oh, btw, search for "Tere Bina Lyrics" on Google and guess what tops the charts ! :D

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Gayathri woke up with a heavy head at 7.30 am overshooting her normal quota of sleep by over an hour. She cursed the alarm that didn't go off and breezed through her morning rituals. The moment she was about to slam the door, she realized that she had left the keys inside. Damn ! She dropped the apple she was about to eat on her way and let it skid its way down the stairs. That's when her mobile decided to ring its fancy ringtone. She ignored the call, grabbed the keys and finally dragged her way out of the tiny one bedroom apartment. She jabbed her finger at the button several times to summon the lift, but the lift didn't seem to respond at all. A few seconds later she noticed the minuscule "Out of Order" sign and scooted her way down the steps. She found the apple downstairs and kicked it with all her might, as if that would alleviate her of her anger. That's when the watchman stopped her and asked her to pay the maintainance bill right away. After several negotiations and explanations Gayathri obliged unwillingly, scraping the last of her hard-earned money meanwhile holding back enough change to commute. Didn't anyone have sympathy these days? After bargaining with several passing auto's she summoned an empty one that agreed to her budget. She was thankful that the auto driver was considerate enough of not to strike a conversation and she spent those few minutes clearing her head and bracing herself for yet another strenuous day at work.

Gayathri was skeptical about joining the rat race. But the voluptuous pay lured her into it. At her workplace, she stared into the eerie glow of the monitor trying to figure out what those bunch of lines implied. At lunch,she ate a solitary meal consisting of a bland salad from the canteen and continued with her programming.

Suddenly at around 7 in the evening a wave of nausea swept over her. She felt bovine and decided to call it a day and she somehow found herself walking past the gate and across the pavement. It was the breeze that stirred the wistful emotion within her. Slowly tears started rolling down her cheeks, the mascara trailing a black path on her rosy cheeks. She felt sick. She looked heavenwards and screamed - "Why? Why me? Why?"
The heavens decided to take pity and cry along with her. A lightning streaked across the sky, momentarily lighting her teary face. She let the raindrops wash her face; the tears along with the raindrops softly caressing her tear stained face. Gayathri reached home totally drenched with her wet blue cotton salwar clinging to her 7 month swollen abdomen. She fumbled her way to the mantel and looked at the photograph surrounded by a withered garland. She scooped up the photograph of her husband and clung to it like a child as she wept.

P.S : A slightly tweaked version of the one I posted exactly an year back ! Your comments go down in the process.

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The time had arrived. She was there too among the huge gathering of people. The friends surrounding him were more in number than his family for he was a popular & lovable person amongst them. But for her, he meant something more than that. Everybody knew who she was, but not as much as he did. They had been together only for a month, but still it seemed as if they had spent their entire life together. But all that was insignificant now. What was more important was that, he was leaving her, why only her, he was leaving a whole bunch of his loved ones.
There were tears welling up in her eyes, but then he didn't want to see tears, not now. Mustering up the last of the resolute courage that was left within her, she put up a good battle against her own self. But then his eyes kept going back to her. She simply wanted to hug him tight and say that she would always be there for him. No! She couldn't do that. She got her answer from him soon. A smile and a bat of the eyelid, that said things more than words could have explained. That was all that he could manage and that was all she needed.
The moment had passed, the time had finally arrived........ the electronic voice on the loudspeaker cried out>>>
"All the passengers to the flight ***** are requested to proceed to the security check"
Final handshakes, hi-fives, pats on the back, hugs and soppy teary kisses and a final look at his sweetheart, he pushed his trolley and moved towards his new destination. A place totally new to him, a place void of his family, friends and of course his lovely sweetheart. Last minute handshakes were exchanged and she kept looking till he reached the point of no visibility.
Some wise soul once said - Time, tide and International flights wait for none. How true !

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When someone asked me if I was an evangelist, my pathetic vocabulary skills proudly returned a null. I stared back with a quizzical look on my face. An evangelist is a person who passionately pursues what he likes the most, or simply a person who spreads joy.
There I stood, with the world spinning around me, introspecting whether my presence made any significant changes or was I just another girl who meant nothing to the ones around her ? I've always believed and sworn to the fact that the world will show you its beautiful backside if you are the snobbish, moody, every-sighing soul.
Are you the types who lead a mundane, moribund, mechanical life doing things that you wished you could change/alter ? Do you go to your workplace/college/school every morning wondering -"Why the hell am I here?" But then have you ever thought of it this way ? People who see that ugly constipated contorted look on your face every morning, tend to lose their little spark of enthusiasm that they had preciously obtained after an introspection like mine? ;) Negative aura spreads quickly, but positive thoughts are more infectious.
Go back to that point of time in your life when we wanted to become astronauts, pilots, soldiers, superheroes, painters and even poets!! Where did all that enthusiasm go ? Are we afraid of people who snicker at our dreams ? Disappointments and fear flourish in our heart & minds.
Yes, I am an evangelist! Of course I do have my mood-swings, hard days and downfalls, but then who doesn't?
Go enroll for those salsa classes, eat those extra pieces of chocolate, find time to talk, enjoy the sunshine, listen to some soul-enriching music, read a good word, feel good about yourself!
And please burn your to-do lists. :D
Am I more special than you ? Yes, because I've found my cause !

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Rekha sat in front of the huge mirror bordered with bright 100 watt bulbs and gazed back at her reflection. Time had passed and she never realized how it swept away all that she possessed. Today was the day that would give her a new start, a new push, a new beginning... a new life. She looked at her kajal lined eyes, they seemed to blink all her dreams and aspirations, but the tears dissolved them all away. She looked at her cherubic cheeks which used to blush on their own triggered merely by a smile. Ah! That curvy smile of hers, the one that would brighten everyone's day, now appeared firmly pursed together.
She asked herself - "Why do I have to do this? I have a life of my own, which is very dear to me. Why should I go out there and bury all my hopes to the grave?"
That's when the door opened and someone said - "Rekha, its time. Come"



Dressed in a maroon silk saree and laden with jewels that weighed more than her, Rekha walked out of the bride's room to the chamber where her wedding with the man twice her age was to take place. She looked at the expression on her brother's face and stopped in front of him. Wrinkling her eyebrows together, she said- "Why me ?" With a comforting glance and the reassuring squeeze of the palm, Ravi walked his 19 year old sister to the end of the life she'd dreamt of.

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I have,

Battles to brave,
Hurdles to cross,
Challenges to face,
Distances to merge,
Promises to keep,
Goals to achieve,
Wishes to fulfill,
Moments to cherish,

I have a life to live !

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She gently held the cup of strong coffee with her fingers and sat on the chair beside the window and looked out. A gentle zephyr blew the hair out of fair and she rattled a little feeling the chillness creep down her body. She drew her knees close to her body in response and took a sip of the bitter coffee enjoying its ubiquitous aroma.
She saw kids playing with a stray pup that tried to yelp and wriggle out of the plump boy's fingers, but he seemed to be having a tight grip. She empathized with the pup. She looked beyond, an old couple were holding hands and trying to cross the road. She saw love in their grasp. A smile escaped her lips and a sip of the coffee spread warmth into her system. She gazed leftwards and spotted the vegetable vendor pushing his cart. She saw desperation in his eyes to sell the last of his tomatoes, potatoes, cabbages and capsicums. She saw watchmen with scarves and monkey caps around their heads strutting about the apartments chasing the annoying salesmen away from the gates. Another sip burnt her insides. She saw young lads on bicycles being weighed down by the weight of their backpacks. The sweat of perseverance and tiredness. The cup was empty atlast.
She imagined the vehicles honk and roll past, the birds chirp, the kids screaming in delight, the vegetable vendor's voice, the rhythmic sound of the rustic cycle chains, the quarrel between the watchman and the sales rep and a lot more of the unheard voices in the moribund city life.
Life is so different when you have to imagine the sounds of life and don't possess the hearing perception.

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2006 doesn't really seem to get off my back. I'm still writing '06 in the date column everywhere and am consulting the 2006 calendar still. Seems like the *** Gold Palace forgot to send us a new one this year. Getting back to college after a month has created some ripples in the system, the first being waking up before sunrise ! Its pretty hard to accept the change when you've been nocturnal since your birth.
Blogging took a backseat too this year. Since the beginning of the new year, I've posted just once that too a tag which I took up out of compulsion or call it desperation to post something ! I'm talking as if its September 2007 already !
Confusions.Commotions.Contradictions.Emotions.Evaluations.Explanations.Assumptions.Realizations and so much more shuns out all the abilities and possibilities to think clearly. It definitely is a tough call to make when the heart and the mind start working independently on different lines and refuse to work in coordination.
Distress always follows happiness, but there is always a silver lining in the clouds. Reality sure does bite. Somethings are so hard to accept. Time they say brings about change for the better. Hopes hopes and more hopes are only what I am holding on to, however false and mundane they may seem.

P.s : If this post seems like utter crap to you, please put up with it like the darlings that you have been as always. The damsel is in distress.

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I've been given this tag by WA who doesn't seem to have spared anyone on her blogroll and also by Sandhya who seems to have no other chance but to tag the same ppl all over again !
The tag requires me to disclose 5 things about myself that people don't know. But don't expect me to list down 10 coz I got tagged twice coz listing down 5 itself is going to make this tedious and also coz most of you know me too well but also coz I've got to finish the tag and also coz I've got to put an end to this line which by the way is getting too long :D

1) I jumped onto this tag, coz I love to talk about myself. I'm no narcissist but still, who wouldn't want to talk about themselves ? Oh come on, stop pretending to be all modest, each one of us would have a zillion things to tell about ourselves. It only matters whom you want to broadcast all that to.

2) I've learnt classical music and dance professionally for 8 and 4 years respectively.

3) I'm majorly sentimental & sympathetic over little things.I might sound passive, but then it doesn't take me long to form a puddle around myself.

4) I don't really like chocolates and ice-creams. Not that I hate them, nor am I particularly crazy about them. (OK, eyebrows down and pupils back into your sockets please! )

5) I've been blogging for 2 years and not 1.7 years as most of you think. I run another (dormant) anonymous blog whose url I obviously do not intend to disclose. Questions pertaining to this will be blatantly ignored.

And the nice soul that I possess asks me not to tag anyone and leave it to the reader's discretion whether to take this up or not !

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I'm sure all of you have read everyone posting on how eventful/uneventful 2006 has been for them, and it would be unfair on my part if I don't come up with my ramblings.

2006 saw most of my cousins getting hooked. It was a year I looked forward to the most when it began. Filled completely with activities as it started; the glitter gradually started to fade as the months flipped bringing the series of jolts. The ride wasn't very smooth and it ended with zilch. During the fair end, there was so much gloom that I saw a totally new side to myself. I'm so glad to turn 19 in 2006 ! :D
I definitely have to mention about the people I met and made friends with in '06. These people were one of the few best things that happened to me last year and their existence has definitely changed my perspective of life completely. So if you have known me personally only since '06, give yourselves a pat on the back. I am so glad to know you all.
Well, I've decided to include a few changes here and there, which all of you might find evident from the posts that follow later.

I wish all of you have a year filled with serenity and joy !

P.s Yes, the bold statements continue to thrash you.

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What happens when you feel totally disoriented and low in life ?
You either post like this and make sure nobody understands or you decide to live through it and come out stronger, happier and all the more hyper dyperly recharged. I decided to do both ! :D
Get some animated character to throw a treat, crash there, and make them talk their brains out and leave him/her feeling "fundamentally screwed" :D You get good food plus entertainment for free !

And yes, if all you bloggers have nothing productive to do next Saturday, Crash here and end 2006 in a bajjistic way. Even if you have anything productive to do on the 30th, chuck it and land up at the Besant Nagar beach, spot the noisiest bunch of people near the police booth opposite to Cozy and join them wide eyed.
I've been to a small-scale-bajji-meet and can personally vouch for it to turn out to be an amazing fun experience ! If you have nothing to say, just nod to whatever others say, smile sheepishly and gobble those bajjis !

For Dumbos - CLICK HERE

P.S : Yes, I've decided to make bold statements ! :D :D

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Warning : This post is filled with pessimism and negative emotions. The reason is for me to vent it and for you not to take it personally ! Amen ! Now read it fellow banshees ! :D

What happens when you create an impression on people ? You are expected to live upto it everytime and if you happen to degrade, your life is made miserable and worth perishing. So does that mean one has to underplay everytime. Life can't be put on stealth settings. We are always expected to do things and expectations lead to disappointments most of the times.
I've mentioned a lot about hope during the course of my posts and as I write and experience more, I realize that hope is a misnomer. Everyone in this world is a selfish soul. They want only things done for themselves. They would contact you only with a reason. All I ask is, what is wrong in keeping in touch? Lack of time? Absolute crap. How long does it take to drop in a "how are u?" Obviously I wouldn't flourish you with a long screed like reply for that! Selfish and reckless souls. And why, most of them won't even comment on such posts. Guilt strikes I suppose? They'd have 14327 reasons ready at hand to attack you with, before you could ask why! And they'd even call you jobless to keep in touch. Well, if I have to pretend to be "busy" or appear aloof, I'd rather not get in touch with anyone.
This haughty attitude of people pisses me off so much.
Go party people ! The whining is done. The heart remains cleansed and pure as ever!

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I know I'm sitting jobless and still have a trillion and a half things running on my mind. My current state of mind is so haphazard that I can't even bring it out in the form of words. No no, these aren't my mood swings. Call it multi-tasking, a writer's block or simply the lack of ability to streamline one's thoughts and think coherently to put up a proper post. In simple words, call it just an excuse.
The rate at which am watching movies has reached its zenith and the rate of socializing and networking has perfectly balanced my state of ennui. With the newly acquired musical collection, I couldn't be more busy!
Have you ever felt that you could be surrounded by a huge group of chattering people, yet felt lonesome ? And be with one person and find hours evaporating into seconds ? (Chi chi, not lowe, perverts!)
And why is it that when you need people around, all of them are either busy or not reachable or are onto things that obviously make u feel measly.
I don't wish to live in this moment !
Hope is a misnomer !

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One of the most eagerly awaited event for all PSBB'ians used to be the yearly anniversaries that were(are) conducted religiously at the Kamaraj Memorial Hall. It was looked forward not to showcase our pathetic theatrical skills, not even for the additional 2 marks that would increase our abysmally low mid-term scores,  neither to prove ourselves the best of the 3 branches and not even to grab an opportunity to disappear from those monotonous social science classes; but just for the sheer heck of it. Being a face in the crowd, and getting acclaimed (as the little speck in the crowd!) provided the much required boost to our deflated egos.

I'm sort of proud to declare that I used to participate every year and enjoyed every moment of it. Or so I thought! I still don't know what to do with all those ridiculous costumes. I don't have the heart to get rid of it. I remember the way teachers used to goad us into participating by telling us that the play would be a disaster if there was just Cruella and no puppies. And we used to wag our backsides all day in the name of rehearsals ! Of course the popular senior whose parent was friends with the dean got the role of Cruella. And boy, was she good!

During the 3 day event, the opulent celebrities sat in the front row wearing their plastic smiles throughout the coruscating performaces, while parents swooned in the audience at the sight of their son/daughter playing the dalmation pup! (Though I'm sure they had no clue as to which one was theirs!) As for us, we sat huddled backstage wearing our comical costumes and a pungent layer of make-up that made us look like baboons and added to our teenage skin issues. By the time we'd go on stage, all the make-up would have formed sweaty patches and we'd look nothing like cute puppies but more like leprosy patients.

Despite all the rigmarole that it was, it all seems like an epoch now. From being a face in the crowd to becoming the snooty senior who played the lead role, I've somehow enjoyed every minute of my fame.

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From throwing tantrums as a toddler,

To bratting around on my bicycle as a 10 year old,

Having the first real crush* at 15,

Today, turning 19 doesn't seem such a big deal at all !

Chocolate cakes anyone? :D

*Questions pertaining as to who it was, are strictly prohibited ! :D :D

Thanks Visithra and Pree

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She spread her hands on either sides away from her body and kept it in line with her slender shoulders with her palms facing upwards. A long breath escaped her lungs. She inhaled the sweet intoxicating smell of the damp earth beneath her feet. The fresh ubiquitous aroma filled her lungs and released a new wave of energy from inside her that traveled to every inch of her body. She was in a trance. She squished her foot into the mucky mud and curled her toes inwards taking in a lump of mud between her toes. Her eyes saw the beauty enveloping her and there was so much to see. She closed her eyes and let out a huge breath of content. At that very moment, she felt the first few drops of rain on her face trickling down her smooth skin onto her neck.

Her palms cupped instantly to puddle little of the purest form of water. She tried to hold them, but they trickled down from between her fingers. Her clothes stuck to her body as if they were her second skin. She could take it no more. It was an entirely euphoric moment.


And when she opened her eyes a few minutes later, there were half a dozen people gaping at her from the bus stop.


Pic Courtesy : Fotosearch

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"Alright, I've had enough ! Stop it", she screamed !
"Oh come on, just this once ! What's wrong with you now?" I coaxed her for more.
This once? Don't you remember the last time you colored me ? Burgundy streaks to make you look more chic. Atleast that's what you claimed ! Now you want it highlighted blonde. Did you even take a look at how much volume you have lost in the last few years? What all tortures you put me through ! You straightened me for your 21st birthday,you wanted a new look to begin your 20's. You permed me because your loverboy thought your face looked too oblong with straight hair. Beautiful curls everyone cooed in. Once you started working, maintaining the curls became too much of a pain. You got it undone and did the layer cut which the stylist blew totally and I looked as if a rat had played with me. You'd keep chucking a clump of strands behind your ears till I'd be damp from sweat. You would chew me when your anxious, bind me with all those fancy clips, let me fly when you're on the bike. Serums and lotions you applied to manage me, but I asked for none. Shampoos and conditioners galore you used, thinking none suited your texture. Rebonding is the only solution someone suggested and you blew half your salary with that. I longed for the hot oil massage and a good rinse, and you gave me vinegar, mehandi, eggs, curd, lemon and even beer in return ! And now you ask me what's wrong?
I call it a bad hair day !

P.s : The I above isn't me ! :D

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Some things in college life have left me skeptical or should I call them issues that make my jaws hit the ground ?
After already mentioning the amount of metal (a.k.a junk jewelry) on girls in a previous post, the issue that has me pondering now is of synchronous colors ! Seems like the "matching- matching" fever would never leave the city. Everything from the hair clip to the footwear seems to be of the same color as their clothes. To top it all, some even go to the extent of wearing the same shade of nail polish and lipstick and if possible and considering availability, flowers too! Have I mentioned that how strong perfumes and fragrances put me off ?
On questioning a patient (read as college going girl) why she was holding her books in her hands, she claimed to not own a bag matching her clothes ! Hmph ! I mean, how can they do it every single day ?!?
I don't say that its wrong to get dressed up.But shouldn't one keep the place and occasion in mind? And that doesn't mean that I don't like to apply make up or am against color cosmetics. I don't feign to be plain Jane either. I admit, I feel incomplete without my eyes darkened with that line of kajal or kohl and would never miss it every morning.
Well, to wrap it up in a nutshell - I seek beauty in simplicity !

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Memories leapt out at Vikram out of his diary as he flipped the memoirs in ink. Sitting at his oak paneled study, elbows propped up against the smooth wood, fingers knit together and eyes absorbing all that they could in the harsh light against the diary.

October 27th 2004
... Maldives is so beautiful. Every minute spent here is going to be etched in my memory. The calm beaches, the mellow wind and of course Rina.I love everything about her. That smooth skin, that mysterious smile,those dark eyes, that lovely dimple, the shy laughter.. Thank you God for having entwined our lives.....

August 11th 2005
We just moved into this new palace of a house. Rina has so tastefully furnished it. But still, she should have listened to me about that lighting idea. The room looks a little too dull and gloomy. Well, yeah, we had a fight. i can't bear to see those eyes teary. Let me go and cheer her up...

October 23rd 2005
.... Its our first anniversary today. We went to the temple and just returned. Can't tell you how happy I am today. I hope this joy lasts forever. I never could want anything else in life. I'm so content. Must get ready now for the party. Rina's already ready....

December 8th 2005
.... Rina is 3 months pregnant. I can't believe there is going to be a little Vikram/Rina soon in this house. Must start working on those name and nappy issues. She wants a girl though...

Vikram turned a fresh page in his diary to chronicle a new entry. His hands trembled as he held the pen against the paper. He couldn't form the words. They somehow seemed to refuse to get to his hands from his head. He leaned back against the leather chair and closed his eyes tight. He let the tears flow. He was enveloped by memories. Sounds filled his ears. Her laughter, her voice, screaming, noises and bang the crying of an infant.

July 1st 2006
Rina left the world today and all I have is her token of love to me that looks so much like her. I miss you !

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"As the exams near, the frequency of posts increase exponentially"
- The Bloggers Rule

Study holidays make a great time to watch movies, socialize, chat, blog, sleep longer hours and yes, try to include dusting books, and taking copies of notes too ! I'm sure I'll burn a huge hole in my dad's pocket with the amount I'm spending on Xerox.

Anyways, on the weather front, this year is no different from the last. Those of you who have frequented this place would know about my Relief Camp!! Tinkerbells has become a bad cat now. Being fat and thrashing others seem to have become his passion or rather obssession. He pawed a little girl when she tottered to him with a bowl of milk in the rain. And yes, he still hasn't learnt to climb a tree (being a bit fat lump of flesh, how can he). I see a few kittens on the tree branches from my window meowing all night with Tinkerbells sitting guard under the tree. I must introduce him to my dogs sometime!

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The last fortnight of the semesters are usually hectic, with every laboratory staff demanding for the record and observation book to be signed. Sounds simple if you're not the procrastinating types. I'm in the last lap of my record-a-thon. Finally my room is not zooming with A4 sheets anymore. And I don't have any brothers like Sagaro who'd offer a hand atleast at drawing those boxes in the microprocessor record! (hmph!)
The most dreaded, uninvited exams commence in about 3 week's time and the rate of my cribbing would touch its zenith in a week atleast ! So, I'll give you all some peace and not post anything until the kids next door stop bursting crackers !
Anyways let's look at the brighter end of week. Diwali of course ! No lectures on Child labour ! (Do buy crackers- atleast the kids would get the money for all those nauseous toxins they work hours with, to give us those few seconds of happiness !)
I'd like to wish everyone reading this a colorful, prosperous and a happy diwali !
I'll bug you all after diwali, till then, eat all the sweets you can and get fat.
P.s: This blog is best viewed in Firefox

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A fortnight back I got this big urge to get my ear pierced for a second earring. No particular reason, but I just felt like it.
I was all excited until I reached the place and saw the look on others faces while they got their piercing done. The way they cringed and oww'ed and yelped, pushed my morale down my gut. But then pain gives pleasure at times and I reminded myself how this was my sole decision. So I sat down cross legged in front of the man who was to take a chunk (ahem!) of my flesh. Some cream(supposedly) was oozed in order to ease the pain. Seeing the look on my face that read -"Finish-the-damn-thing-fast" he held the cold metal earring against my skin and pressed. A sharp spasm of pain ran through my neck and I was squeezing my mother's palm as tightly as I could. My eyes were shut so tightly that I was sure I'd have tears in my eyes. But no! Before I could curse him for the useless anesthesia he gave, he said "Aachu, andha side" (finished, the other side now) Seeing the expression on my face, he turned my head to the other side and repeated the same thing. Did the man have no sympathy ?It was no better this time. And before I could comment on his lack of sensibility and the likes, the ordeal was over. I got up and gingerly touched my ear lobe. I felt nothing then, but after an hour or so, the so called pain started. They say it lasts for a week or so.
But I'm happy that I got what I like and good things don't come easy ! And today I agree that pain can give pleasure too!

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Prelude :- Its been ages since I handled a tag. Please bear with me ! Of course its also been quite a while since I put up a post, kindly adjust for that as well ! (:d)

Weird Quotient-1 : I have to clean out my entire room and get rid of something atleast in order to sit and spend some quality studying time ! (this happens very rarely though)

WQ-2 : I have to wear atleast 2 rings in my fingers. I can't write properly otherwise !

WQ-3 : I hate it when people ask me to repeat myself. (I have a low tolerance level) (just filling points... proceed on )

WQ-4 : I check my height and weight everyday ! (:p)

WQ-5 : Looking at everyone saying that they are talkative and can keep yakking, I find it weird to say that I'm not the really talkative types. I can get mundanely silent at times! (at times only!!!)

WQ-6 : And of course with so many people listing out their weird qualities, I feel I am pretty much sane and normal ! I find it weird to say that I'm weird !

And as usual, I'm not going to tag anyone and save the rest from the trouble. But in case you have nothing else to post, thou art most welcome to take up this tag! Amen !

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She had always been the serene, non-troublesome, obedient and disciplined child that most parents wished for. She was all that everyone wanted her to be, not for herself, not for them, she never knew why. She was like a chameleon, disappearing into the background. Infact it took people a while to take in her presence while being in the same room as her.
The quiet child that she had been, nobody was able to point out with a precision as to when the silence had crept its way into her and rendered her mute. It had been a process in stealth. The surprising part was that the silence had never been accusing or intrusive. Neither had the silence been loud enough to acknowledge her presence. But the moment it arrived, it spread and consumed her.
Over years, the accusing silence blend itself into the surroundings and the physical presence was so meager that none realized when the eternal silence came. Much sooner than she anticipated. It all began and ended in an absolute zilch.

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Before anyone can ask, yes I feel a lot better and saner!
A wonderful fortnight of holidays comes to an end on wednesday and I can proudly say that I've no clue where my books are. All the pending work gets reminded only the night before and I stare blankly when people ask me - "What did you do during the holidays then?"

Anyways moving on, it really irritates me when people ask me about the comments on my blog. Yes. Initially one blogs for comments, all the "I blog for my satisfaction" is an absolute piece of farce. Who doesn't want that? But infact after being here for almost 2 years (technically) I've grown immune to the number of comments , not that I don't want them, I do value your opinion; but the number really doesn't matter to me now.
I've also been noticing that the length of my posts have been gradually increasing. If you've been around for long you'd know that I don't really pen down long posts. But now that I am, I'm liking it !
I've also been trying to tweak around with a different template, but its not turning out the way I want it. So that has to wait.
Thanks to Navratri and the celebrations, I met a few long lost kith and kins and spent some quality time with them.
Now I really wish that this semester comes to an end really soon.
*A proper post would follow soon*

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Update 2 :- I was so lost in my thoughts that I forgot my own words, thanks Aravind for reminding ! :)
Update:- After smashing a candle stand, I feel much better. Thanks anyways! (:d)

There are these moments in my life that literally push me to the extent of thinking of my existence in this world. They make me question the truth and refuse to accept reality. And when these moments materialize before my eyes, I feel as if my character is getting altered to accommodate all that I wish not to.
Like a stone thrown in a calm lake, my neatly messed up mind is all rattled now. There are thoughts mostly useless and unnecessary that are swirling around in my mind like the foggy nights of winter. I'm wearing my temper on my sleeve and am lashing my words like a whip. Angry. Irritated. Melancholy.Disturbed.Sombre. Lonely. Emotional. Am totally at a low ebb. I'm not a very talkative person, especially about my emotions. But there are a few who can literally jog my mind before I voice it. They read my face, distinguish that tone in my voice, see that dampness amongst nothing in my eyes, comfort as I talk dumb words. They mean the world to me.
If this post made no sense to you, or if you think why I'm cribbing all this, I don't really care to be emphatic and explain myself now. If u still have faith in me,stand by, else flee.

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For everything I've said and done,

For everything that made you run,

Everytime I hurt you bad

I'm sorry, I can't see you sad.


Now I'm mild & meek,

Forgiveness is all I seek,

I cast my eyes upon the ground,

Twiddle my thumbs, not making the slightest of sound.


I don't want to run, escape or hide !

I confront you dumb & mute

I'm so tongue-tied
And so I plead with only the soul so resolute.

You smile, I stutter

My limbs start to flutter

And all I have on my lips now is a simple Sorry.

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Dear God, in humbleness we pray to thee,
Show us your kindness and listen to our plea,
Someday, even the mightiest mountains may bend
But that day, pray, do not render us without a friend.
Someday, even the vast oceans may go dry,
But let not our hopes for the other go awry.
Someday, the sun may delve forever into the horizon
But let us embark on our journey, always in unison.
Someday, the green trees may all wither and choke,
But even then, let us be cozy in friendship's warm cloak.
Someday, the air itself will go thin and dissolve
But we will always hope for each other, this we resolve.
Someday, when all may seem lost and impossible
God, solve our problems and make the realities plausible
Someday, the world will rip itself apart in war
But even then we shall not be apart.
Wherever we are, whoever we may be
Whatever the time, however we may be
We shall live forever as friends, always together,
With love so strong and hopes for each other.

Psst: Am onto a poetry spree. Please put up with me ! Dedicated to a beloved friend, with love !

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She said,

I asked, you gave
I misunderstood
I did not listen, I heard
I lacked analysis
I was selfish
I became someone else
I ignored you
I blame myself
I underestimated us
I lost you
I lost my identity


He said,

You asked, I gave
I explained
I spoke
I judged
I was selfless
I searched your soul
You were gone
There is none to blame
I expected more
I sacrificed
I transform

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She ran as fast as her legs would carry her on the hot sun-burnt field. The rain starved coarse earth made ruthless marks on the pink sole of her soft feet. Her silver anklets and glass bangles clinked in rhythm as she sped. She cut across all those green and yellow grasses that had grown almost as tall as her, making her way to where her secret lay. The wind laden with the fresh aura of the greenery and fertility caressed her soft face and lifted her long plait a few feet behind her waist. The lofty side curls bounced against the side of her face as she reduced her momentum and halted to an abrupt stop near the third scare crow from the right.
She bent over to its side and leaned over to check for any suspicious eyes. None. She opened the hay stuffed bag by the side and delved her hand deep inside to retrieve the letter her beloved had sent.After reading the scrawled handwriting for the nth time, she ran towards the muddy road and waited for the lone bus to arrive, of course late as usual.
The day had finally arrived. Her love was coming back !

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Manasa and Meghana aged 6 and 2 respectively, were the apple of their father's eyes. Bringing up the girls alone was a difficult task indeed for Mahesh. His wife passed away the moment Meghana came into this world. She was a replica of her mother with the same big fish like eyes and a dimple on the left cheek. Little Meghu always reminded Mahesh of his wife. He showered all the love in the world on his little girls. He didn't want them to feel the absence of their mother. But, Manasa was the mother's darling. She felt empty and always believed that she lost her mother because of her little sister. She used to take sadistic pleasure in pinching Meghana and seeing her cry. She wanted to be the centre of attention. But she found her father spending more time with her little sister and felt as if he was ignoring her. Manasa secluded herself from the two and spoke very less.
One fine morning, Mahesh saw Manasa steathily walk upto Meghana's room. Suspecting his elder one's actions, he followed her and saw her poke Meghana with a sharp pencil. The little one immediately shook out of its stupor and started wailing. Mahesh stopped Manasa in her tracks and slapped her for her insensitive behavior towards the child.
"I demand an explanation from you Manasa and I want it right now. " said Mahesh in a firm authoritative tone.
Manasa vented all her built-in fury. She screamed pointing at the wailing child "She sent Mummy to God, she killed my Mummy and ever since she came you have started hating me. You didn't congratulate me for coming first in class, you didn't come for my school anniversary program, you didn't....." and she burst into tears.
Mahesh immediately understood the girl's insecurity and kneeled down in front of her. Cupping her cherubic face in his hands, Mahesh said- "You are always special to me Manu, my eldest sweetheart. Its not that I don't love you, your sister needs my attention right now. I thought my Manu has become big enough to manage on her own. Both of your are like my 2 eyes, I can never say that I like only my left eye. You had your mother's love for 4 years of your life, your sister is deprived of that too. But she is so lucky to have a lovely big sister like you. Don't you have to make her feel special?"
At that very moment, Meghana climbed down her crib and tugged Manu's frock and in her baby language said "mama.. maaa"
Meghana picked up her little sister wiped her tears and said -" I'm sorry for everything Meghani, I'll be your mama from now, you're the angel God sent instead of Mama"
Mahesh looked at his 2 girls and a small tear escaped his eyes.

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Me: Why now pa?
Dad: Why not now ? Earlier the better.
Me: Seri ok, but still I won't have the time for it.
Dad: Its just for 45 minutes a day, not the whole day ramya !
Me: But still, I'll have to wake up early every morning pa.
Dad: You can always sleep after you come back na?
Me: err... But still...
Dad: Epdiyum leave la vettiya thaane irukka? Car oatta kathunda enna ?
Me: !!!!!

And that's how my dad coaxed me into going for car driving lessons during my semester holidays and today; a month later, I'm typing this post with a beatific and proud smile on my face after clearing the driving test and holding the laminated card in one hand !

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From atop the bed, little Anandita asked her mother "Amma, do I really have to go?"
"Anu, it'll be great, trust me! You'll love your new school" said her mother as she parted her little one's hair and tied a ponytail on either side.
As she picked up the crisply ironed new grey and black pinafore and matching grey sock, Anandita remarked again, "Amma, will you come to pick me up in the evening?"
"Sure darling, I'll be there at the gates at 2 sharp" said the mother quickly stuffing chutney coated idlis into the constantly talking mouth.
With her water bottle sling on one side and a new bag hoisted firmly on her shoulders, Anandita said her prayers and before she could open her eyes, her father was carrying her to the car.
At the school gates, Anandita couldn't contain her tears.
"Big girls don't cry" reminded her mother.
Pulling her crutch together, little Anandita walked through the gates to her "School for the Disabled"

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The more I try to be committed to blogging, the more enforced seem the posts. But for quite a while I seem to be suffering from what most of the fellow bloggers also do at some point or the other- the writer's block! I really appreciate the commitment with which certain people put up posts every single day without fail and kudos to the ones who religiously read them and comment!
But I promise to come up with something during the weekend and hopefully not a rusted piece of nothing !

A tag sounds so promising now !

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I've come across several characters in the last 18 years of my life. Some have made an impact, some have influenced me, some have just passed by, some have incurred my wrath, and a few are slotted in the top rung of my ladder of friends. A special place indeed.
According to me, friendship doesn't mean to be sticking together all day. The real test of friendship is the ability of a friend to rekindle the fire even after ages.

A bit of ego we might have had,
Numerous fights, some happy some sad,
Those lovely moments,
The many quarrels,
The various squabbles that are yet to come,
Making friendship even stronger in the long run.

I'm sure there will be more people walking in and out of my life. The above statements were made out of my little encounters with the souls branded as friends in my time of existence.

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She sat in anxiety, waiting for her beloved,
Days crossed plenty, emotions vast and myriad.
Said he-"I'll be back soon"
She kept waiting, never did come soon.

The last step towards the point of no visibility,
Words played traitors to their own hearts
The sharp sting of seperation like darts
Was too ravenous to counter their patient ability.

Bound they still were by words of hope,
Times were getting tough and hard to cope
Having lost their self to the other,
Still she waits, with just words to smother.

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I wanted this to be really special. I was thinking of a different way to put this up. I squeezed my pea-sized brain for ideas. The thought always lingered at the back of my head, no matter how important other things were. But still the ideas remained constipated in my mind.
Everytime I thought I had something good in the process, the thought failed to mature beyond a certain level and I would be back to the same place with a blank head. The thought my blog turning into a Nothings & more Nothings led me to desperation. I started to feel guilty that I was doing injustice to this space. I would religiously visit this baby of mine everyday, look at the shoutbox which has now successfully transformed into a spambox. The statcounter was going good. The comments were less, but steady.
And now at the end of it all this sounds like utter fiction and probably crap too.
But this milestone is special to me.
Yes, this is my 100th post !

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Alright, college has begun and its not half as bad as I had expected it to be. Its thrice as worse as I had expected it to be ! To start, my class is located in the middle of nowhere with fans that creak with every revolution, a bench that is a perfect example of frictional force, a board on which no writing done with chalk can be seen (who looks at the board anyways) and a whole bunch of jokers who call themselves as lecturers and handle the world's most boring subjects. I seated myself comfortably next to a window in one of the back benches and of course I needn't tell you what I do all day! I have so much non-academic work to do once I reach home, so I compensate on my sleep at college and during the tediously long bus journey. Anyways, in the last 3 days, I've decided that I have to get used to this lifestyle atleast for the next 3 years. There are zillion other things that are more worthy than academics and I'm not going to let this boring college life affect the other entities. I am what I am and I shall be what I want to !

Amen !

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A lot has been written in the blogsdom about the blasts in Bombay, I've not got more to add than what already has been told. The Mumbaikar spirit flames up and engulfs all the misery and fights back with an undying passion. I was more worried about a relative who commutes by the rail mode and the moment we got the news that she was held up at work and had to take the next train, we calmed ourselves down. Cosmic vibrations I'd call it or maybe sheer luck.
On a much different note, here is a friend who takes me for inspiration to join the blogger community. Welcome aboard Krithika. And as for that inspiration, I'm sure, after spending considerable amount of time in the blog world, you'll have a longer list of inspiration !! (:p)
And my personal life is going towards zilch. College reopens in a week's time and the feeling that I've done nothing worthwhile haunts me again. But I've enjoyed the last 2 weeks really well. I met a few long lost friends, consoled a few, sorted out a misunderstanding and almost salvaged something very dear to me from disaster.

P.s :- I'm looking at a template change if not atleast a few noticeable changes. Change is good !

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7 year old Nandana walked into her contemporary duplex house with a beatific smile on her face. The reason for the big grin was clenched tightly in her little fist. A cup testifying her first place in the singing competition held in her school. She walked in screaming- "Amma, ammaaaa, where are you?" Probably amma hadn't returned from office yet. She ran to the telephone and dialed the ten digit cell phone number. "The person you are trying to call is currently not reachable" repeated the electronic voice. Nandana called up her father's office next - "Daddy, I won the first prize today" she exclaimed excitedly
"That's good darling, now I'm a little busy, we'll talk later baby"
She hung up with a long sigh took the cup upstairs to her disabled grandmother's room. Nandana never liked the room. It smelt of dettol and had the most dull and vapid interiors unlike the rest of the house.
But the moment Nandana walked in, her grandmother stretched her arms out and said - " I knew you'd win Nandu, I'm so proud of you my angel ! Will you sing once again for your grandmother?"
And the smile that was swept off from Nandana's face a few minutes back, lit up the entire room as she sang for her grandmother.

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After a 6 year long wait, Radhika's sister was getting married. Radhika was seated close to the dais looking at the proceedings. She was tired of the multiple rituals before the the holy nuptial knot was tied. People came and went. She was looking at them all until her eyes settled on this man seated diagonally across her. She had never seen him before. Probably the groom's relative, she thought. She gave him a warm smile and he returned it.
She turned her gaze towards the dais. Her sister was smiling ever so quaintly at her husband to be. They made such a cute pair, she thought.
Radhika looked again in his direction, and their gazes met. He was looking at her constantly. Her heart started to beat out of its cage, everytime someone looked at her that way. He'd never seen anyone like her before. Her appearance tugged his heartstrings. She felt uneasy about his obscure stare. He took out his handkerchief and patted his forehead. A few moments later someone whispered something into his ears and she noticed his mouth curve into an "oh".

Who wouldn't feel sympathetic when you are a quadruple amputee?

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A year back, a teenager was introduced to blogging by her friend. She was enthusiastic to get her cryptic mind to churn out some quality stuff and the thought of personal cyber space was way too exciting for her. There she sat, reading all the blogs that her friend had suggested. There were quite some good writers out there and they were really serious about what they put up on their blogs. She started thinking if she would be able to do justice to her space. She didn't want this to be yet another blog. She never liked being a face in the crowd.
But something propelled her to start one, and she started writing on a daily basis. She waited for comments. There came none. She crazily bloghopped and very sincerely left a comment on their posts. Then she started believing that she wrote only for herself and it mattered only to her. A few friends commented religiously on every post. But there were a few who would comment, only if you commented on theirs. Ha! Slowly she forgot about the comments. It didn't matter much to her. She decided that her blog would testify her transition. Later she added statcounters, put up a shoutbox, enrolled for the google adsense for the technological transition. She made some real good friends and learnt a lot in the process of keying in those posts. There are lots of things that made no sense to the world, but meant a lot to her.

Today she sits here typing her 93rd post on the day of her blog's first birthday.

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Aug 24th 2005.
That day is etched in my mind. The day I walked into my campus with a totally apprehensive mind. New place, new people, unfamiliar territories, it was a new beginning. I had my doubts if I would be able to manage all this. Is engineering for me? Its a rat race that I'm joining. I would still be a rat at the end of it. I put aside all these thoughts. It was hard to not let them haunt me.I missed my friends from school, I hated it all. I began to rue my fate.
But then I've grown to accept all this and do note, I'm not saying that I'm liking it. I've just gotten used to it. Semester one passed by and in semester 2 I again started doubting if I had made a mistake. But then all this is over. I've got to finish my course and get a life of my own. I've climbed 2 rungs in the engineering ladder and in the process have learnt a lot of things. Am mentally, academically, physically, spiritually an year older and atleast definitely possess a maturity level higher than what I did last year.
And this blog will stand testimonial of all this.

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Sumana was the single mother of a 14 year old Riya. The unexpected demise of her husband in a plane crash had nearly swept the ground from beneath her feet. She was struggling in the moribund city life to cater to her daughter's education expenses and other needs. Being an advocate didn't have many monetary advantages.
She fought cases and solved almost everyone's problems, but was quite unaware of what was happening in her own house.
Riya had grown up all by herself. She longed for her mother's affection, but Sumana was too busy making ends meet that she was resorted to communicating with her daughter through calls and notes pinned on the fridge. The rift started widening slowly. Riya secluded herself from everyone. Nobody bothered about her. Everyone only seemed to care, no one really did. Her life was so neatly messed up now that nobody could set it right.
Then he came. Slowly, stealthily, like a crook. She smiled at him, he smiled back. Riya was happy that atleast he came to her. She spilled her heart out to him. He proved to be a patient listener. She embraced him and found her peace. Eternal peace.
Sumana cried as she lost her daughter and only hope in life. Death, again! How would she survive this one now?

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Update:- Thank you all for your sympathies. My thumb is fine now. Environmental engg was the only paper where I had so much to write and I wasn't able to write. Now my thumb is fine and I can write, but have nothing to write. Makes no sense eh? Bah! Exams finishing on 15th. Lots of posts in mind, let's see how many materialize.

Lady luck has always conspired against me in times of need. It is only yesterday that I posted here about me writing a long paper on the environment. Minutes after posting I jammed my right thumb between the lift doors and sported a nice cut behind my thumb nail. After a long tirade from mom on being more careful atleast during exams, I settled down with the book in my lap. I took out a paper and tried writing. The wound stung and I winced in pain. I left it at that and started to rue my fate.
The moment I saw the question paper today morning, my hopes soared! I actually knew most of the answers. Now came the tricky part, I had to write. I held the pen, took a deep breath and started on with what Genetic Diversity meant. It wasn't bad, the wound had healed partially. I swooshed my way through almost all the long answers. That's when the bleeding began. Damn! My bandaid had came off and my palm was sweaty. I had a full section remaining with 10 questions. I wiped my hands on the tissue I had. Blood again. But the tissue was doing a good job of sealing the wound. I managed to put in the key points and submitted a blood stained paper.
Bloody paper that was! Sheesh!

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"When things seem unsure, anxiety heightens."

I've realised a few things in life are worth nothing at all.
I've realised people who really love you, never show it.
I've realised words can never express the inner feelings, tears can.
I've realised people close to you, don't really care, its the ones who are unknown are farther.
I've realised that its taken me 18 years to realise so much!

But better late than never !

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I can't believe I'm actually blogging about something I had dismissed as unimportant a few years back. Health and Nutrition it is. People who know me might actually raise an eyebrow at me talking about this, but I really don't know the reason for this sudden epiphany ! I had never been a skinny girl. I was healthy with no ailments except for a high tendency to get my bones broken once a year! (:p) The first 12 years of my life was spent in Delhi and I actually started adding some flesh only after my first major fracture in Chennai. But then dance classes helped me keep fitness where it was supposed to be. But of lately with no more dance, I've been forced to take up activities like aerobics and enrolling in a gym to keep that flesh in place. Dietary control is something I can never handle. Leafy or fat-free foods don't interest me and chocolate and ice-creams are something that only saints can avoid !
So according to me the only way is to fight those calories off is to burn them ! I hope I stick to this routine atleast. I'm so fickle-minded!!

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It all began with me asking my dad to get the set top box installed two years back. The Shahrukh Khan festival was going to be telecast for one whole week. Not a valid reason. Fine,Star World was going to air the last season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Cliched eh? I know. I'm a friends(the soap) fanatic. And Michelle was growing older on Full House. I know all this sounds so indolent and my father put me off by asking me to prepare for my board exams!
Now today if I go back to him with the same plea, he'll turn me down saying that the government is planning to take the system off and its wiser to wait. I have started to depend upon DD ,Sahara and Pogo to watch movies!!!!!

And I have to mention the climate here. Boy! Isn't it weird? A few months back, we had water running like rivers on the roads and now a weeks back it was scorching. The heat is slightly showing signs of abatement. Or is the sun playing peek-a-boo??

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After all those encouraging comments, and my own addiction to blogging , I really couldn't stay away from this. I'm coming back with a poem and yes this is just a feeling not an experience !

Love is smiles
Love is tears
Love is full of doubts & fears

Love is cruel
Love is kind
Love is very hard to find

Love is near
Love is far away
Love is not about being together all day

Love is slow
Love is fast
Love is always there to last

Love is about being daring
Love is about being bold
Love is more precious than gold

Love can succeed
Love can fail
Love is like a fairy tale

Love is a reality
Love is like a dream
Love is so beautiful & serene

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The last few days were really testing times for me. I was on a emotional high but now am slowly riveting back to normal. But I have no hopes that things are going to be the same way any longer. I've grown to assume that anything good that happens to me comes with a big price which I can't afford. Life's becoming monotonous, posts seem mundane. This blog is probably breathing its last moments... HOPE is such a misleading word.

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"When the world gives you a thousand reason to cry, show the world that you have a million reasons to smile"
Procrastination is my middle name. I wish I had done things earlier. I'm running a race against time. Trust me it feels as if I'm walking against an approaching storm. Its all rosy and silent, until the mad wind comes and devastates everything in its way.
Tomorrow happens to be the last working day of my semester and also happens to be Day 1 of events of one of my most closest cousin's wedding. I have no other choice than to miss the function in the morning and get all my records signed. I'm so glad that Friday is a holiday and I would not miss the tying of the nuptial knot. I have my model exams starting this Saturday. That's like 7 exams in 3 days.
After that the university practical begins, followed by my university theory exams from 28th. Blogger isn't going to see much of me for a while. I'll be back after a brief hiatus. I need a lot of moral support and the courage to face all this. And yes I see a moment for the Prayer Club to be conjured!

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I got reminded about the tale of the hat vendor and the monkeys as I was crusading along East Coast Road last night. I know there is no relation between the both, lets just assume I decided to think about monkeys and the first thing that popped into my mind was the story about the hat vendor and the monkeys ! We're all familiar with that right? Well, let me add a sequel to it.

40 years after the death of that hat seller, his grandson takes on the legacy. He works really hard and makes better hats.On a hot summer afternoon he too falls asleep under the same tree which once provided shade to his grandfather. When he woke up, as expected the hats were gone! Ah! His grandfather had told him what to do, he removed his hat and pelted it on the floor. Much to his astonishment, the monkeys didn't do so. One of them came running down the tree and told the hat vendor which left him boggled.
The monkey said -
" I had a grandfather too who told me what to do !"

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Poetic words escape me,
I know not what to write,
I'm working harder than ever
My schedule is very tight.

I wonder what to post after so many days,
Imaginations are gone without a trace,
Ideas do seem to mound,
But nothing that is profound.

I know not what else to say,
Attention to other work, I need to pay,
Do pardon me, its the heat of May,
I shall be back soon with something better to say.

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"All my bags are packed and I'm ready to go...." croon the Aerosmith band on my player. I think my player has earned my sixth sense, being with me. It seems to select the right song according to my moods.
Anyways, for all those of you who just let out a big sigh of relief thinking I'm going, save it ! I'm just going to college after a long long long leave. I won't call it vacation. It seems as if the weekend was just extended for a few weeks. After week 1 of sulking, week 2 of planning, week 3 of disappointments and week 4 of fun ! Yes, that's exactly how I spent a month! All the fun came at the last moment, making me want more of it and now I sit hopelessly and totally uninspired to attend college tomorrow.
One half of my mind says that I have just 20 more working days and I should give it my best coz I've had enough. The other half screams that it wants more fun ! I have no idea which one to listen to.
I've no other choice than to attend college for those 20 days, but this reckless attitude isn't going to help me!

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Why is it always difficult to get rid of something as trivial as a withered flower or a pen that no longer writes or anything that has some close significance to you?
I was de-cluttering my shelf today, and I found a sizable number of a myriad of things that I didn't want to throw away.Ranging from old slam books, post-it pages, a few diaries to broken stationary, a ripped toy and lots more... The things that I did not want to throw away seemed to outgrow in number than the things that I actually did part with. As I flip my old diaries, I can almost visualize myself living in those moments and the transitional change that I've undergone. I also got hold of a few tapes in which the conversation between my cousins had been recorded. I was almost ROTFL when I heard their squeaky voices and not to leave out my guffaw and snide remarks in between.
The broken or useless branded goodies might clutter my house, but the memories that I can associate with each one of those paraphernalia is absolutely priceless.

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Lets rewind a bit.
Let me take you 7 years down memory lane. Its a breezy evening of August. Its around 9 in the evening. We get a call from a frantic cousin who asks us to come over to their place right away that's just a stone's throw away from our house. My parents and I rush over. The porch light is off. Strange. The drawing room was rearranged. Strange again. I went in first and stood transfixed in my steps. There was a absolutely amazingly cuddly, drooling, tottering fawn colored Labrador pup trying to walk its way from one end of the hall to another. I was literally dumbstruck. My affection and love for dogs surfaced immediately. I learnt from my grinning cousin that the pup was a month old. The fella (pup) could hardly walk and kept landing on his belly for every 2 steps that he advanced. He was already showing signs of being obdurate and adamant as my uncle tried to coax him to drink his doggy syrup. Cerelac wasn't helping either. He was christened "Teddy".
Fast forward to the present.
My aunt and uncle have moved to a new flat from their independent house. And Teddy doesn't like the change. He feels restricted. There is no place for him to move about and keeps sniffing the new place. The change is pretty hard for him. The crammed 3 bedroom apartment with its furniture doesn't fancy him, he seems to want space. Today I'm furious to know that, a few members of the apartment's association approached my uncle and have asked them to give away Teddy. The reason? He barks. What nonsense? The kid upstairs who wails all day goes unnoticed. But a dog isn't allowed to stay for a simple reason that he barks? Its absurd. I feel like shooting the guy who came and said that -"get rid of ur dog, he's too loud". Well is he ever going to understand that it will take anyone for that matter to accustom themselves to a change? And its just a dog. Doesn't anyone sympathize with the other living species? I'm appalled by this reckless attitude of certain souls in this world. I'm ashamed too that I coexist with such heartless creatures! Bah! I can't stand the idea of Teddy going to Blue Cross. Where will those pets go if such absurd rules are brought about in apartments-
Do we send dogs and cats to the zoos?

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My mind is clogged and I know not what to blog!
So, let me tell you the story of how I brought my blog back from the kiss of death ! (:p)

About 2 years back there was an article in the newspaper about blogs in detail with a few specified links. I was excited about having my own space on the world wide web and crapping about all that I wanted to. But then when I visited those links, I was flabbergasted. People were writing sensible stuff !! I thought I should stick to my good ol' journal and hit that "back" button in the top left corner. I didn't want people to start thinking - "How could such nutcases come and just blab away here?" Bah! Ignorance !!
An year later, a super cool friend of mine, with whom I happen to share similar interests, gives me the link to his blog and asks me to comment. Well, I still remember that post of his about kids who sold those yellow dusters at traffic signals. I was thoroughly touched.
A month later I create my own blog and start writing. Exams come up and I forget all about blogs. After the exams I decide to rekindle my blog and I realize that I've forgotten my username, pwd and even the name of my blog!! (talk abt irresponsibility) I created another account. After more than a year of owning an idle blog, I start posting. What I had when I began this post (Writer's Block) had caught me then too.
A week later I post a poem I had written over 10 years ago, and these 2 totally unknown fellas leave a comment behind. My eyes were literally out of their sockets when I thought that ppl had actually read that and commented?!?!
And today, I qualify very well to make this cliched statement -
"... and the rest is history " ( I feel like a cinema star) (lol!)

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In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all and often it comes with bitter agony.
Perfect relief is not possible, except with time.
You cannot believe that you will ever feel better, but this is not true.
You are bound to be happy again
Knowing this and truly believing it, this will make you less miserable now.
- Abraham Lincoln

The above verse was just a reassurance to myself that things will get better.
My trip got cancelled due to some personal reasons. Guess am back to being jobless at home till college reopens.
A very happy and prosperous tamil new year to all of you !

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Bye Bye Bloggers and Non-Bloggers who visit me here.

I'm going away until Sunday on a trip with my cousins. Considering the fact that I was sitting jobless for so long and was making life miserable for everyone at home, I jumped at the offer my cousin gave me to accompany him. Its been pretty much a long time since I went out of the city, so the change is most welcome!!! So no posts for the next 5 days. And of course I won't be around for Tamil New Year, so here's me wishing all of u, a wonderful Tamil New Year !

Disclaimer: Comments asking for pictures or travelogues will not be entertained. Comments like We will miss you are most welcome !! : )

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May 8th 1999
It was a fine day with a light breeze and a perfect evening to play. My enthusiasm for playing and love for outdoors took me to Guindy Park a few years back with a bunch of family friends. After spending considerable time on the swing and glider, I moved onto the monkey bar. I wanted to show my friends how strong I was despite my skinny appearance. I started my climb.The wind was singing slow hums and my side locks were being swept into my eyes. I felt as if I were flying . I tried in vain to push them aside with one hand, but by that time I had reached the centre of the bar. My other palm clamped with sweat lost its grip on the bar and I fell 6 feet to the ground and landed hard on my right hand.

There was no pain at all. But the moment I looked at my hand, the set of bones linking the thumb to the fore arm felt squishy. It looked alienish with my thumb hanging loosely without the support from the adjacent bone. I rushed to my friend's mother and showed her my arm. She gasped and before I could ask anything else, I was whisked off to the orthopedic centre. My parents came rushing to the hospital. The moment my mom saw my boneless arm under the X-Ray machine, she got hysterical and the nurse had to sedate her to calm her down!!
In the Operation Theatre all I remember was a sharp prick on my unharmed left arm and some lady placing a mask on my face. I was asked to inhale deeply. I did feel funny at that moment. A ticklish sensation ran through my spine. I don't know if it was due to the cold metal table I was lying on or the anesthesia.
When I woke up I felt groggy and I imagined a dozen people around me.Someone was patting my head. Some instrument was attached to my finger. I thought I was hallucinating. But a few minutes later my head cleared and indeed there were a dozen people in the room staring at me and that was a pulse counter on my finger !

2 days later I was sent home with a huge PoP bandage covering my entire hand. I had to visit the doctor once a week and had to get my plaster replaced thrice.
The worst part was, I wasn't able to write even after the final crepe bandage had been removed. But the best part was that for those 3 months, I was given royal treatment at home !!

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With less than a month for the university exams and less than a fortnight for the practical exams, I realized from posting the last entry that deadlines for the record submission are nearing. Now that means I have to write a abysmally long screed called Records!!
Circuit theory with its kolam like diagrams and calculations that run to pages. Oh ! I hate this !
Electronic Devices with its diagrams that make no sense and graphs that look really amusing on the lab manual but the way they turn out in the observation is totally absurd. I've been manipulating every graph value to get atleast something similar to the one drawn in the lab manual.! Hmph!
The terrible part in this whole process is that, none of these labs belong to my department. I just have to do it for the sake of proceeding to the next semester.
And so I began my record a thon and still I'm on.
Wurshtesht nelamai !

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Why is it always that when the deadline nears, you remember that so much of work is pending? Well, you can ask what were you doing all these days? But then time passes so swiftly that one moment you feel bored that you don't have anything constructive to do or feel like doin and laze around the whole day. But then suddenly one fine morning you realise about all that is left to do, and you blame all in the vicinity for it !
Well anyways, I attained this enlightenment over my 2 hour telephonic conversation with a friend.

P.s: Attention spammers, I have removed Word Verification coz it started generating sentences instead of a few alphabets. Now if u fellas are gonna be back, well, what more could I do, I'll enable it back on !!

Anyways despite all that is left to do, am off to watch Kuch Kuch Hota Hai on TV now ! Hail Doordarshan !

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