Somethings & Nothings

Finding closures

2011-11-23T22:06:00.000+05:30

This is not the first time I'm facing an identity crisis. I've questioned myself about what defines me as a person, what is it that sets me apart from the rest, what do people like about me, what is it in me that annoys the crap out of them. This undying need to make myself likable, and be the best puts me in a wreck. I tend to lose myself this in reflective process, which is so ironical because I'm trying to actually discover instead. Criticism comes easily to people, but compliments? Not so much. When you can't depend on people to remind you of your strengths, you have to look within and come up with something.

I've always grown up knowing what I do not want in life. This definitely made elimination easier, but it modeled me as a person who never had strong opinions about things. Yes, I was able to adapt myself to what I was thrown into, but I lost wanting to dig deeper into my true desires. When I realized this, it was time for me to leave my comfort zone and expand my boundaries.

I came to the US chasing my dreams, pursuing my interests and in the process, I began to create a new life for myself from scratch. A life in a completely new place, with a new set of people I'd never met before towards establishing a whole new lifestyle. It might not be a great accomplishment, for every international student goes through this and worse even- but it is special for each individual and we need this validation.

As the year comes to an end, a very important phase in my life finds closure with it. And this closure will be key to how everything else dawns. Until then, toodles.

The other girl

2011-10-26T02:17:00.002+05:30

I took a different train to campus today. A train that I hadn't taken ever since my first day at grad school. As I climbed down the steps away from the train station, my head started to buzz with the memories of my first ever day on campus.

I was the international student hesitant about my surroundings and wary of my belongings. A girl who chased her dreams to the United States and was excited about the opportunities. I was the girl with the frizzy hair in the Nike sandals and Batik print Fab India scarf consulting her campus map every five minutes. I was the one who dropped jaws seeing the hundreds of iMacs in the lab without knowing where to sit.

I check myself out at the security booth and I saw a confident young woman smartly dressed in a pencil skirt, silk blouse and Nine West pumps. I smile back at her and make my way through the flood of people to sit at my favorite iMac by the window.

The transformation might be complete on the outside. But, somewhere deep down, I am still that girl who came to the US to chase her dreams. I must always remember her.

I am strong

2011-10-17T05:32:00.004+05:30

I am a strong and motivated young woman. I am confident, enthusiastic and I believe in my abilities. I'm thankful for every experience that life has brought in my path. I shall recite this in my head everyday.

I must not lose confidence or the belief in myself. What seems like a daunting task now will be something that I will laugh over with friends a few years down the line. Life is really not worth all the worries, but the opportunities are worth fretting over. It is not fair to get bogged down or give up after a few failures. Failures come along to make you count your blessings. I will not give up. I shall keep trying and picking myself up.

I am a strong-minded, motivated young woman. I must always remember.

Disassociated

2011-09-18T07:19:00.002+05:30

There are times in our lives when we wish we could be alone in a swarm of people. And then there are times when you wish there would be somebody to talk to. Any person, who could just sit next to you, physically or even virtually through a chat box. Today is one of those days when I have none. It is times like these when I wish I had a dog or even a cat. You know, just to have some kind of living being around me. Virtual lives are a great escape from your real life when you need it, but some times even they don't quite cut it. Books are a great escape. But when you have to nothing to return to, they don't exactly qualify as an exciting retreat. I'm probably making myself miserable thinking about the possibilities and feeling sorry for myself.

Of course, tomorrow is a whole new day. I might have a hangover of these feelings, or I might laugh at my own absurdity. This is exactly when I need Amma to tell me how ridiculous I'm being and throw me headfirst into reality.

But, tomorrow will be different day. I just know it.

Slouchy Sunday

2011-09-12T03:19:00.002+05:30

You know there are times when you have a trillion things to do and you just want to shrug it off just yet?

There are chores to be done. From ones as important as home work to something as mundane as tackling an overflowing laundry basket. But today is one of those days when the obsessive to-do-list-tackler in me wants to take a break. (Despite having just returned from an extended vacation)

Today is one of those days when I just want to sit by the window while sipping on tea and reading a book that does not require much processing in the head. And I'm going to do just that.

The world can be tackled on a Monday morning with a big cup of coffee and a mean spirit.

A strange Monday

2011-08-22T20:58:00.004+05:30

It's a strange morning. The fact that it's Monday might have something to do with it, but not entirely.
Feelings that were buried deep along with thoughts that I thought I'd forget are surfacing. Emotions and memories that were easy to put aside are not easy when recollected. The mind is a strange little creation. A lot of times we tend to underestimate its ability to remember things. Sometimes things so trivial, details so unimportant, that it challenges its existence in itself.

As I nod off on my way to work, I remember people whose faces I've seen somewhere but can't fathom why I want to see them again, talk to them, be around them again. They say that sometimes it makes a lot of sense to talk to complete strangers. They give you an unbiased perspective. I concur. I've had the most interesting of conversations with total strangers that have left me thinking for days together. Memories that are made from momentary acquaintances sometimes linger longer than you expect.

The moments have passed, the memories faded, life moved on, more memories created. We forget, live, relish and sometimes relive. Today, I'm longing for things I gave up to pronounce a change made voluntarily . It's a strange morning, I'm telling you. It must be the air.

Halfway through a challenge

2011-08-17T23:05:00.003+05:30

The 30 day challenge is going okay so far. I could definitely do better, but it's some kind of a beginning at least. I'm very glad that the reading habit has finally kicked in. I haven't begun experimenting with titles for the fear of losing interest and therefore giving up the reacquired habit altogether. So I'm currently re-reading some of my favorite classics. The reading time is definitely much lesser and more interrupted than what it used to be back home. I remember finishing HP-7 in a couple of hours on the day it came out. And now, time is constantly interrupted by things that demand attention so fiercely that it has become almost impossible to get some quiet alone time. Good lord, I sound like a mother of a newborn!

The one tsp sugar in coffee is turning out to be my biggest challenge so far. I've now resorted to equal portions of milk and coffee in my mug and this seems easier to handle with a tsp of sugar. But the going gets tough on days when I wind up having close to three cups of coffee/tea. Recycling and listening to at least one carnatic song a day is coming along fantastic. I guess the carnatic song phase will wean out soon because I ended up listening to variations of the same song for an entire week and now I might snap if I hear it again. Too much of anything is never good.

Other than that, life's been pretty much monotonous. Things go in to top gear soon, and I'm not too thrilled about it yet. The year's crossed its half way mark and looking back in retrospect, the going's been good so far. There's a lot more of things to cross off the to-do list by the end of year. Hoping for the best until then.

30 day challenge

2011-08-04T00:52:00.000+05:30

It has been quite a while since I challenged myself to do something without it being a requirement or necessity. Worse actually because it has been quite a while since I challenged myself to do something I absolutely loved and not feel guilty about it later. So when I heard from N about the 30 day challenge idea, and read more about it here and here, I was psyched to take something up myself. Of course, being a compulsive to-do list maker, the idea instantly warmed up to me. So here we go -

1. Read everyday: By reading, I most certainly don't mean the newspaper or a reference article for my research. I bought a Kindle to rekindle my love for reading and I've read only three books on it so far. Let's say the whole make-your-own-food-do-laundry-be-a-responsible-person took my life by storm.

2. One tsp of sugar in coffee: Before you snort at this, let me quickly brief you about my love for caffeine. I absolutely must get caffeine into my system before I interact with fellow homo-sapiens. There used to be a time when I completely avoided sugar and took none in my coffee. But somewhere something went wrong and I found myself adding extra sugar in my coffee. I'm thinking this is a good excuse to avoid that extra sugar and calories in my sedentary lifestyle.

3. Recycle: This is something that I already force upon my roommates and I have very strong opinions about. I will not drop my Gatorade bottle in the general trash at the gym and instead carry it back home and throw it in my recycle pile. Definitely doable.

4. Listen to at least one Carnatic song a day: Unlike my parents' one terrabyte carnatic music collection, I have none. There hasn't been a single day in my 12 years of classical music learning phase when my mother did not plead me to practice. Clearly, my voice has lost its ability to do any more riyaz, therefore, to do justice to my 12 years of classical music training, I hope to listen to at least one carnatic song every day. Now's the time to scourge YouTube for videos of December music season concerts. (Recommendations are most welcome)

This whole thing is probably going to be easier said than done. But hey, it could be a start to something much bigger and I'm vouching to remain positive through this entire thing. I'm also going to cover my walls with notes reminding me of my immediate goals.

Go on, take something up and let me know what your challenges are for the next 30 days.

Redefining purposes

2011-06-29T20:33:00.001+05:30

Recently, people are asking me what exactly I blog about. This question is easier asked than answered. As I inch towards my 6th blog anniversary, I felt it is important to revisit the purposes of this blog and perhaps even redefine it. I began blogging as an extremely immature and irresponsible teenager. Those of you who have hung around long enough would vouch for the fact that the posts have certainly not gotten any mature or shown any signs of responsible behavior.

So, what started as an experimental tool to vent bottled up thoughts ended up becoming a platform of expressing the deepest emotion and at times even creative outbursts. From cribbing endlessly about my college and its inhabitants to meeting fellow bloggers who are now friends for life. From worrying about pursuing dreams to witnessing them become a reality. I think somewhere amidst all that I am glad that I had this blog to chronicle such phases in life. Reading older posts mostly leaves me snorting at my own misery and cringing at all other times.

It does upset me that I don't have much to say these days. People are noticing that I've mellowed down from the perky teenager that I used to be and transitioned in to a quieter person. (Someone must be glad that happened!) The posts have become sporadic, but I must admit that life's lessons are easier preached than learned. I've somehow adopted this I-don't-care-to-have-an-opinion attitude and I'm hoping this is also a phase that shall pass with time. I'm glad that a few things have happened in life, despite several sacrifices that have been made to cement it. There are bigger mountains ahead to climb and I hope that someday I will write about it and force my grandchildren to comment on those posts.

If I didn't make my point clear, dearest blog, I love you. Thanks for standing by me!

Botherations

2011-05-19T20:50:00.003+05:30

What is your problem in life? I understand you have been living abroad for two years. But before that you lived in India only no for 22 years? If you cross seven seas and two oceans means you will forget where you came from ah ? This and all is unacceptable I am telling you.

What is this everyday you are tweeting about all these foods with complicated names? You were eating cone ice and Bhel Puri in Gangotri all this time and suddenly you like only Apfelstrudel, Tiramisu and Biscotti ah ? You knew only Good Day and Milk Bikkis and now you want only Biscotti. Idiots.

And then you put status message saying "Parmesan is so much better than Cheddar in Fettuccine". Have you even tasted anything other than Amul cheese? Just because you want to show off you must not do this. For all that sour sour cheese you are eating, you are going to become one jumbo case. Then you will talk about importance of health. You are all one health sciences student. Chi, shame shame.

It is ok if you left it at eating, but no, you want to bake. You will go buy all cheap items from the baking section at Walmart. Cookie sheet, baking pan, all-purpose flour. Do you even know the difference between Aata and Maida ? "Love the smell of Vanilla extract" it seems. Given a choice, would you have ever eaten Vanilla ice cream in India? All this you will do and the expenses you will put in the shared monthly account with your roommates.

No, wait. I am asking, have you at least boiled water by yourself in India. That is too much - did you even know where the kitchen was in your house? After making a big mess, you will catch one friend who has a DSLR camera and make him take fancy photos, put one watermark also on the picture. This you will put in an album named "Apartment Number Culinary Experiments". So cryptic you think? Stalker will come and catch you. Stupid.

I would stop here, but no, 4 days later you will say "Thayir saadham is the best comfort food ever" , "Grand Sweets, I miss you!" This is what will happen if you keep eating all that Parmesan, Ricotta, Sapotta nonsense. Diarrhea came, no?

Kanna, what I am telling is, you need to have limits. Gone America means no dancing over head. Feet keep on ground, ok? Thalaivar has told! Okbye!

Note: Because despite being peters, all of us are a little local at heart.

To ink or not

2011-05-18T00:41:00.001+05:30

I've been considering getting a tattoo for about 6 months now. Yes, this is about when you will hear my mother yelling things like "Is this why we sent you to America?" "What if you marry into a family that doesn't approve of it" "What will xxx maami and yyy maama say" and more such things. But in her heart she knows that I wouldn't care for any of it if I set my heart on it. Yet, convincing my mom is of prime importance. *makes milk dripping face*

One Sunday morning, in one of my video chat sessions with my parents, I tried the best argument I could think of at that moment - my maid! She has her husband's name on her left forearm. I know, Pativrata and all it seems. But hey, it's the first thing that came to my mind since I couldn't cite the example of the friend who got a tattoo. Just for your knowledge, she ended up marrying a tullukapaiyyan and we all know how that conversation would end.

But, if you ask me why I want to get a tattoo done, I might not have a very convincing answer. I find the idea very intriguing and adventurous and hence my inclination towards it. I have often done a lot of things impulsively and regret some later. So, the question of what to ink takes prime importance and hence justifies me taking the time to sleep over the idea. I definitely don't want one of those curly flowers or creepy butterflies. That's so clichéd. There are too many people getting mysterious sounding sanskrit words, dancing ganeshas and oms. Even that much display of religiousness is not going to convince my family. Yup, we're tough nuts to crack. Here's Tambrahmrage about the epic sama veda tattoo! :P

Anyhow, the whole idea itself isn't something that our traditionalists are open to, but with more TamBrahm households eating pasta and lasagna over poondu rasam and vendekkai curry, tattoo acceptance is not too far away. But sadly, my family does not constitute the wildest bunch of berries and since I've earned that tag for myself - I might as well be a trailblazer in this aspect. I went way ahead of myself and even envisioned myself in a maroon madisaar with a custom made blouse that shows off the tattoo on my back.Of course, the boy would wear his panchakacham and sport a clichéd sun on his well trained arms. Sigh!

*Off to think of excuses to convince the mother.

Spring in the step

2011-04-30T21:43:00.002+05:30

Yes, it's that time of the semester when you must say sympathetic things like "This too shall pass" and motivate me to look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Oh and what a dark and long tunnel this has been. No, this doesn't mean I've spotted the light yet. Unless one of you decides to hold a torch or something and guide me out. I'm still groping around in the dark. Spring is absolutely gorgeous. The birds, pink flowers, frequent thunderstorms, the first hint of green. I love it so much that I can't stop tearing up every time I step out. #allergies What would I do without my big bumblebee shades and a big roll of Kleenex that I carry everywhere!

Anyhow, this has clearly been my most challenging and demanding semester ever. Every time I breathe a sigh of relief, something else comes up to take its place. Every weekend is spent bringing things up to speed and I'd rather not talk much about my weekdays. I'm a proactive person and all these constantly changing schedules and deadlines are pushing me to my wits end. My planner has seen so many changes that it actually gave up on me. It is true, grad life really teaches you to handle pressure like nothing else in life. Only maybe next to parenthood - but it's too early to comment on that.

Excessive amounts of caffeine have been consumed over the last few weeks. My blood should be brown by now, I think. I also need to lose this habit of eating ice cream with cookies post 2AM. Oh and caramel pop corn - MUST STOP BUYING THEM AGAIN! Did you know "Naked" makes all these yummy gooey protein shakes with the weirdest of ingredients. They're so expensive, but they are fattening me up with some good stuff. Who said you eat less during summer? I seem to be hungry all the time. Oh wait, summer isn't here until end of June. Weird country, I tell you.

Wait a minute, I didn't intend to talk about food ! Well, too late! I've clearly lost it or someone has spiked my morning coffee.

Yeah, you may pour sympathies now. OkThanksBye!

World Cup 2011

2011-04-04T22:52:00.003+05:30

April 2, 2011. A day that I personally will not forget and I join several other Indians in saying this. This is going to be a day I can remember and talk about with passion because I witnessed the making of this history. I really don't remember much about the previous world cups except for the fact that they always happened in between exams and I was never allowed to watch for longer than an hour. But this time, I was 9000 miles away from home sitting amongst half a dozen other Indian cricket fanatics, wearing the nation's tricolor and yelling our throats out and secretly hoping that the apartment management doesn't fine us for making so much noise.

I have never watched a game at the stadium. I have never watched a match with more than 3 people. I do not know the intricacies of the game. I cannot identify a Leg By or explain what a Dot ball is. I definitely cannot quote statistics. But, you cannot question my spirit for the game based on that. I can tell you that my spirit is no way lesser than the spirit with which every other Indian watching the game. I would keep my comments to myself, but I will swear when our wicket falls and cheer my voice hoarse for a four or a six. Heck, cricket is synonymous with patriotism.

I am not superstitious. But, I kept my legs crossed in a certain way because when I tried stretching them, Sachin got out. I did not pee until the drinks break. I shut my eyes and let my heart skip a beat whenever Gambhir swung his bat. I am ashamed to admit that I did not expect him to play that innings and every time he faced Malinga, I kept thinking that would be his final over. I expected too much out of Sachin & Sehwag and didn't have the courage to place my trust in Kohli or Gambhir. Respect to both you boys!

I don't want to get started on MS Dhoni. I will not stop. When he smashed that ball to a final six, I cried. I am not a very sentimental person and don't like to express my emotions much, but MS Dhoni, you made me cry that day and I am sure I will tell my children of your greatness.

But for now, I am going to join the revelry and wear this perpetual grin on my face.

WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS 2011. Hell to the yeah.

Burn to Bake

2011-03-24T00:02:00.000+05:30

"Everybody loses weight when they come to America" is the biggest lie I have ever heard. Though, I would give it some partial credit. The whole lifestyle change with much more walking and self-cooking shocks your body initially to drop some baby flesh, but then once you get used to the American lifestyle, oh-baby, you are so dead!

When I came to the United States, I was a pathetic cook. Every graduate student in the US says this at some point in their lives. I certainly wasn't the worst of all, but I did suck terribly at it. I couldn't even make dal without burning it in spite of mom supervising me over Skype. I cooked to survive. But now, I cook to flaunt. A few months ago, I was introduced to the whole concept of baking and ever since my weight loss is going downhill. I now find myself following more food blogs then fitness blogs. Much to a lot of people's annoyance, I watch the Food Network more than I watch Glee or How I Met Your Mother. I have spent way too much money on baking equipment. My cupboard in the kitchen is loaded with all these fancy sounding ingredients that when added in different proportions make these amazing, calorie-rich dishes that have even more exotic names. Every time I turn on the oven or light the stove, I secretly say a prayer to hope that I don't set the house on fire like I did when I baked for the first time.

Other than weekly culinary attempts, academia takes the rest of my time. And if you are a graduate student, you know that this is the time of the semester when all the deadlines come breathing fire down your neck. Projects, Posters, Paper presentations, Classes, Assignments, more projects and lots of caffeine to survive through all of this. I'm not sure if all this knowledge has made me wiser or not, but I can vouch for the fact that I have more caffeine in my system than blood. I am much more forgetful than ever before. I set reminders for myself and then have stickies all around the house to remind me about the reminders. I eat for comfort and then run facing the guilt. This is clearly not working for me.

But on the bright side, I have better things to look forward to in a few weeks. Until then, eat a cookie! :)

Gone are the days

2011-02-17T00:35:00.010+05:30

when we settled in our dusty desks, wearing freshly starched uniforms and chalky canvas shoes. The first day of school when we were protective and proud of our fancy stationary and newly covered books. Befriending the watchman to let us in after the first bell. Cycle stand parking issues. Dreading the morning prayer and mumbling through most of it. Swelling with pride and shaking with fear while reading the 'thought for the day' in front of the entire school.

Queuing up at the canteen for an oily samosa and dashing past teachers to get to class when the familiar bell went off. Waiting the entire week for the solitary Games period and getting disappointed when the Math teacher borrows it to complete the syllabus. Group politics. Lotus, Red Rose, Blue Bells & Sunflower. Pestering the games sir every year to switch your group to the same one as your best friend's. Request being denied because that would just cause too much raucous.

Feeling important rehearsing for our menial roles in the school anniversary and sports day. Secretly rejoicing because that only meant not sitting through Organic Chemistry and Calculus. Coming up with creative ideas for charts and campaign slogans for the school elections. Patronizing the cultural secretary to select you for external culturals. Facing the day when you are actually on the other side of the game. English labs, Moral Science classes and the sleep inducing Transcendental Meditation, post lunch.

Slogging through extra classes on Saturdays in uniforms minus the canvas shoes and sometimes replacing the salwar with jeans to look cool. Enrolling in tuitions because your friends went too. Doing tuition homeworks under the desk during English class. Distributing chocolates and wearing "color dress" on your birthday. The joy when you get away wearing nail polish or a colorful hair accessory. Bossing around when you were made the class monitor. Guarding the cupboard key with your life. Changing the date and proverb on the blackboard every day.

Chalk fights, stationary stealers, gang wars and section politics. Fights sans conspiracies. Competitions minus the jealousy. Of bountiful embarrassing moments and countless memories. Some friends changed, some stuck on. The golden days may be gone but the memories will live on forever.

Shri Gurubhyo Namaha!

Overheard on the bus

2011-01-28T23:09:00.004+05:30

Overheard a Mallu girl and a Marathi boy discussing films. Before you start discoursing on how eavesdropping is rude, let me tell you that they were 90 decibels too loud to be ignored. And I don't really force myself to be excluded from a conversation that floats by. That too when the people conversing are from the same country as me. This is patriotism of a totally different kind.
Meet Mallu Girl who desperately needs to realize the existence of moisturizers and lip balms. She wears a leopard print scarf over a frumpy winter coat and carries a fake red Prada bag that has likely been picked up from a thrift market.
The Marathi boy is dressed in a smart Calvin Klien coat and what look like genuine Italian leather shoes. He tries to look all important by unlocking and locking his iPhone every few minutes. You would think he's all posh until you hear his Marathi infused English.
Anyhow, here's a part of the conversation that my attention was limited to.

Mallu Girl: Have you heard of that 127 hours movie?
Marathi Boy: Wow! How many parts is it coming out in?
Mallu Girl: *giggle* No man, the movie is called 127 hours. It is a horror movie.
Marathi Boy: Wow! I love ghost stories.
Mallu Girl: But this is a different kind of horror movie. Not the ghost types. More like a suspense thriller. I heard it's based on a real life story. My friend said it was very disturbing.
Marathi Boy: Oh! You know what, I actually wanted to watch Dhobi Ghat. I used to live in Andheri. Have you heard of that place? I saw a lot of familiar places in the teasers..I used to hang out in all those places... blah.... Juhu... blah...but Thane...blah blah...

And he continued to ramble descriptively and proudly about the chaos in Mumbai shortly after he stereotyped the people by their geographic areas. I don't judge people too quickly, but I couldn't resist forming an opinion on this one. As I got off, I played 'Acid Darbari' on my iPod. Coincidences can be saved for later.

Accelerated Love

2011-01-13T12:25:00.001+05:30

It was a feeling that was new to him. He was confused by the multiple emotions striking him at once. He saw her first when she crossed the road and winked at him. He was taken aback by her initial audacity! He tried to convince himself that the attraction was not physical, but who was he kidding ! She was a stunner. Even the women couldn't contain themselves from taking another look at her. She was every man's dream. No, he couldn't let that thought put restraints on him. She would be his pride.

Excitement rushed through his veins when he saw her again. He knew he had to make a deal soon. It was the dawn of a Saturday morning. He was feeling rather unlike himself. He got into his car feeling rather stupid and impulsive for what he was about to do. He didn't even look the part that he had rehearsed several times over in his head. He had phrased his words ever so carefully. There could be no room for any further thought. Well of course, his wrinkled white t shirt and grey sweats could be working a precarious truce in his favor. Or, maybe not. When he reached her abode, his head was still inundated with her thoughts and beauty to care for anything else. He saw her again, but this time she was blissfully unaware.

One signature and he knew it would be a commitment for a lifetime. She would be dependent on him. But he swore to bring the skies & earth together for her happiness. He signed. The reality hit him when the sales associate placed the key on his palm.

He drove back home with a smile plastered on his face in his brand new BMW.

2010 - The year that was

2011-01-01T15:13:00.006+05:30

Two feet snow. Sheepskin boots. Scrapes and bruises. Discovering OCD. Drummers with Attitude. Encountering strange creatures. Mice running on arms. Atlantic City. The ARR Jai Ho Concert. Raavanan. Saravana Bhavan. Six Flags and its gravity defying roller coasters. Screaming until I fell sick or threw up. iPhone 4. River-side jogging. Multi-colored popsicles. Ducks & rabbits. Fresh margaritas and lots of it. Struggling to stay on the designated lane in bowling. Fire accidents. NYC. Standing in a three block long line for a free Apple Tshirt. Combating bed bugs. Meeting S & P1 halfway across the world for 2 days. Maoz. Fondues & hot chocolates. Frozen Yogurt. Birthdays at PF Changs. A cathartic trip to remember. Y moving to the same city as me. NYC with S, Y & P2.Wall St. Liberty. WTC. Walking down NYC yet again. New roommates. Crazy girls night outs. Maggi at 3am. Golu. License to drive. Diwali. Potluck. Charades. Mad bachelorette parties. Fancy suede boots. Thanksgiving parades. Holiday parties. A Spanish wish. Beautiful jewelry. Pitzelles. Pink puppies. Baking lessons and experiments. Creepy gingerbread men. Meeting P1 again, this time with D. A disillusioned walk in the stinging cold while P1 mumbles the whole way about chocolates. Last minute uncertainties. A flight back home. Filter coffee and crispy dosas. Kaju katlis and girl bonding.

Looking back, 2010 has been nice to me and I actually found it hard to let go of it. But, there always must be an end for a new beginning. I began 2010 away from my parents and ended it with them. I’m beginning 2011 with hopes of a year that will bring much desired changes in my life.

Happy New Year, everyone! May you all be blessed with six packs this year! :D

Of weddings & pomposity

2010-10-28T07:01:00.029+05:30

The 20’s is an exciting age to be in. Since my social life has been sadly reduced to Facebook and Twitter updates, I spend enormous amounts of time gawking (read stalking) at friends’ photos on Facebook. The lanky girl with the oiled hair effortlessly works a smart Posh Spice bob and wears designer boots. The pimple-faced, sacred-ash smeared boy sports a curly mane large enough to house half a dozen sparrows. His sacred thread is probably neatly tucked away in his closet. But arguably the best form of entertainment is derived from viewing wedding pictures, especially when you have a roommate to gush and giggle over with.

It has been almost 5 years since there has been a wedding in my family and when there is one coming up, I can only imagine the adrenaline rush that drives my family to the ends of their nerves. And trust me when I say we have short nerves. Weddings in my family have always been about a lot of smoke generation, teary-eyed’ness (partially attributed to the smoke), prostrating, sacred-ash smearing, hand-shaking and feeding the same 600 odd people three times a day for three days. Amidst all this drama, silk-clad aunties tactfully find opportune moments to campaign for their NRI sons at these events.

But looks like a lot has changed on the wedding scene over the years. Ceremonies are no longer the solemn occasions that they used to be. People are trying too hard to add their own personal touch to every little detail and are willing to go to any extent to make the event as ostentatious as possible. The entire event feels less ritualistic and more choreographed. Families are now more open to the concept of Mehndi, Sangeet and Cocktail parties as opposed to making the groom ride in a rickety red convertible car along with half a dozen wailing kids during the Jaanavasam. The kalyana mandapam (Marriage Hall) concept seems to have revolutionized as well. The venues with their flowy fabrics and soft lighting now look like an elaborate set straight out of a Shankar-directed song sequence. Light music during the reception is no longer considered cool. In fact, it represents cheap taste in music. The trend now is to rope in good-looking playback singers who sing contemporary classical songs and on request, their film tracks as well. The more fashionable families do DJ's especially when alcohol shares the space. Events of the latter kind usually culminate in orgies.

The bride and groom wear ethnic designer labels and no longer do the "groom's hand on bride's shoulder while she sits on a chair" pose. They now reflect scenes out of a Yash-Raj movie. DSLR's zoom in on the mangal-sutra (which would be hung next to the sacred thread in the future), intertwined fingers of the newlyweds and the backless blouse of the bride with the cheeky tattoo peeking out. Leaving the hair untied is no longer objected by paatis, but might not go too well if your prospective mother-in-law is decided from the same episode. Navel showing and skimpy blouse donning are still considered a sin. The bride & groom’s coolness quotient is judged by the number of foreigner friends who attend the wedding. The family’s social status is measured by the number of movie stars and the amount of time for which they are in attendance.

Sure, I agree that the Indian wedding scenario has totally been pimped up over the years. There is nothing wrong in going that extra mile to make your day extraordinary. But, when you begin to lose yourself in the process of making others awe and drop their jaws, how do you think it would remain special to you? Somehow, I think I am way too practical to indulge in such an annoying display of pomp. You never know!

Fashion Bug

2010-09-25T00:43:00.008+05:30

GAP on my hip,
MAC on my lip,

Clinique in my eye,
Versace's scent getting me high.

Sephora in my curl,
Aldo doing the twirl,

Oh dear lord,
When did I become this glamor girl ?

PS: The author does not do poetry, but she believes in boring you with outbursts as such.

Summer of '10

2010-08-23T00:02:00.005+05:30

I'm officially done with experiencing the 4 seasons in one year. My summer comes to a close next week and I'm not sure how ready I am to face my new beginnings. I seem to be totally out of the beat after working through the summer. The past 3 months have been a great learning experience and I just wish I could squeeze some more juice out of the lemons that life gave me.

I had wished to do so many things over these 3 months and I did get through most of it. I still suck at cooking though. I should really credit my bad food to my newly acquired sense of appreciation and respect for people who can cook! Now that I've said that, my attempts at baking and producing brownies have been almost successful except for the fact that I might have accidentally set the house on fire. I do not wish to divulge into the facts for the fear of further damaging my already tarnished cooking reputation. But you must know that the brownies did come out really moist, chocolatey and brownie-like.

Other than that P & S came to visit me and I had so much fun catching up with both of them. And the next week is going to be even better for so many different reasons. Now that life is going to throw tomatoes at me, I will make Bloody Mary's out of them for I need that extra kick to get through the next 4 months. I've decided to live it up while it lasts!

Superiorities & Inferiorites

2010-08-09T22:44:00.007+05:30

The following post is the result of an uncontrollable burst of nerves which led to being pissed off majorly. The author will however revert to her normal good-naturedness by the end of this post.

The last one year has been the most intriguing period in my life. Being independent, learning to use my freedom appropriately and coexisting with not-so-nice people in peace.
I can now vouch for the fact that Indians are the most unhelpful and unfriendly people in the United States. Now when it is my turn to guide the freshers, the emotions about my past year here are all gushing out of my head.

I've acquainted so many different kinds of people that, I'm starting to doubt if it is the place that makes them change or if it is just my narrowed spectrum of friendship with nice people ? There are a few things that irritate me the most and I'm trying to work my temper around the situation.

Why do people always eye your things when they have stuff of their own ? It's not like I don't like sharing, but the whole idea of jealousy paired with my superstitions of evil eye tagging along makes me very uncomfortable.

Why do people have to prove their superiority over others? You might be better off than me, but why does that have to be a factor in you judging me by things that I like to do ? I am not trying to make you do what I like, I just wish you would keep your "refined" opinions to yourself. If you want to do something your way; I'd only be too happy to step out of your way, because I only hope to never be like you ! I shouldn't even be bothered of what you think of me, but when you try to condescend my actions, I have too much of an ego to lend you a deaf ear and a mute mouth. *Growl

Thrusting your opinion on others: You might have had more experience than me, but that doesn't make me any less knowledgeable than you. And my knowledge is not always a byproduct of my quick googling skills! Why is it so hard for you to accept your ignorance ? And no, I wouldn't stoop to your level to show my superiority over you. Don't even try to thrust your ideas down my back, I'm definitely not going to follow your path. Stop believing that your actions were the best that you have ever encountered. If you continue to believe so, sadly you don't know much and my opinion about you doesn't go any higher.

And I just hate it when you take me for granted. When I try to be nice, it is only because I do not want to be a bitch, like you! And if you must know, I do not think very highly of you either, you are the one who does things only because others have done it as well.

Ultimately it took me a very long time to come to terms with the fact that no matter how well you talk to certain people, they will judge you anyway. The only difference in this with the petty school politics is that, we are meaner, bitchier and love the drama! I did learn that you don't have to always be nice or explain yourself. I stretched my boundaries of tolerance, but now I know where to draw the line.

How you treat me is your karma, how I react to yours is mine. Peace!

High Five

2010-06-28T01:21:00.000+05:30

As my dear Somethings & Nothings inches close to its 5th Blogiversary, I have mixed feelings about where I have come since 2005. Yes, do watch out for a sappy post below. Don't tell me I didn't warn you!

Apprehensive as I was about the whole concept of blogging, I only took it as a mere way to vent stuff out of my head that kept spacing out. (Every blogiversary post of mine has this line I think!) I have this ability to think faster than I can speak, so its pretty hard for my mouth(fingers in this case) to keep up with my mind, you see! There's so much that I have experimented here and when I read my first post now, I can almost puke my guts out at what I've written. I'm sure 5 years from now, I'd guffaw and snort at this very post as well. Most of my posts have been majorly spaced out for not knowing what to write but having the urge to keep typing.

I do have to mention that it did prove as a great way to sit longer at the computer while my mom thought I was actually studying. It is another story that when she found out through the sister-in-law about my blogging activities, she resorted to being a passive reader to monitor my activities on the internet. I'm still thinking of a good excuse to keep her away from Facebook.
(Hi maa!)

It was a totally different story with my dad. He continues to boast of how the writing skills have been soaked in the family's blood and have passed on from grandfather to granddaughter (if thatha had been buried, he'd have turned over in his grave and shuddered!). So I was not going to take up a career in writing yet (Mass Communication & Journalism are not considered professional degrees in my household!). You may save your lecture, but that ain't going down our throats, mate. So blogging became an addiction and added a whole new dimension to my personality as I went on to pursue a so-called "professional" degree. But that was only till the social networking fever caught on and I spent lesser time here and more time networking and being cool! But I have to admit, the friends that I have made here are some of the closest I have currently and mean the world to me.

My stint with FindNearYou would have never happened if it weren't for my blog. I have met some of the most helpful and encouraging people here. I'm glad I went for those initial apprehension filled "bajji-blogger-meets". I would have lost my faith in love, if P & H hadn't met through a blog. (Ok, I wouldn't have really lost faith in love, but heck their little love story is so darn romantic!) So even after 40 comment major fanbase days to 4 comment ones - its quite hard not to fall for my queer sense of humor. You think otherwise?

For all those people who claimed to know me all this while and joined blogger recently and have shitloads of followers and exclaim - Since when do you blog?! - take that, I'm your big daddy here! I might not have thought provoking posts on the atrocities of the downtrodden, women's rights and global warming. I certainly didn't try to do any good through my blog or flatter a celebrity by writing their praises, I definitely don't think I have the stuff that would make you want to come back or make "fraanship" with me or even spam me for that sense. And I'm positively not blogging to showcase my writing abilities - I don't consider I have that talent entirely; though my dad would be the person you'd have to disprove. Though, prospective employers may note this point.

Guess that wasn't too sappy afterall, I'll spare you anyways! In the words of one of my feminist friends - "okbye!"

AR Rahman The Journey Home World Tour

2010-06-14T20:40:00.009+05:30

Major spoilers ahead, please don't read further if you plan to watch the concert in any of the other cities. The author refuses to take blame for spoiling the fun, she merely tried to share the excitement with fellow Rahmaniacs who couldn't be there. Thank you!

ARTISTS:

Vocals: AR Rahman, Hariharan, Benny Dayal, Vijay Prakash, Blaaze, Alphons Joseph, Neeti Muhan, Shweta Pandit, Harshdeep Kaur, Zeenia Roy, Krystal Garib.

Supported by: Takuyo Hirano (Percussions), Keith Peters (Bass), Sanjeev Thomas (Guitar), Naveen (Flute), Aditya Kalyanpur (Tabla).

TrackList:

Enter Malachi from the audience, searching for someone. He runs around for a while and jumps onto the stage and boom - the door as shown on the projector opens.

1) O Saya (Slumdog Millionaire): A man looking like ARR is running as the projector shows pictures of ARR and his milestones. Train like feel, you see! Everyone thinks Rahman is running. He's air lifted and the boss enters singing. Howl !!!

2) Adhiradi (Sivaji): ARR is wearing a black coat with LED lights on them. Looked really funky. Only one charanam was performed and surprisingly he didn't forget the lyrics.

3) Say naa naa (Couples Retreat): Enter Benny & Blaaze with Krystal Garib. Benny was wearing a really funky long kurta with feathers and doing some really enthusiastic hopping/skipping. While most Indians blinked, the few Americans enjoyed it.

4) Some bloody brilliant jamming by Sanjeev Thomas (dressed in a red panjakacham with a black shirt complete with Nike sports shoes!) and an American on the banjo. Very very spunky!

5) Yeh jo des hai tera (Swades): There was a patriotic undertone to the entire concert, and it all began with this. It ended with Naveen's first solo of the day. Soulful !

6) Takuyo Hirano is definitely talented. This was his turn for a solo drum act with some foot-tapping bhangra beats, but he failed to engage the audience like Sivamani does. The act transitions into the Rang De Basanti title track performed by Benny, Harshdeep Kaur and Neeti Muhan.

7) Dreams on Fire (Slumdog Millionaire): Again just one charanam performed by Kristal Garib. She seems like an ABCD, but held the act together very well.

8) Nazrein milana (Jaane tu ya jaane na): Performed by Benny Dayal, Sanjeev Thomas (yes, the cool guitarist sang too!) and Shweta. Benny & Shweta had an amazing chemistry and some really good moves too!

9) Barso re (Guru): Neeti muhan & Kristal Garib with Naveen, an Asian Violinist and the tabla guy jamming to end it with the na rey na rey bit.

10) Dil se rey (Dil se): ARR messed up the lyrics for this one. Infact, he sang the same charanam twice. I'm not complaining, I had gooseflesh when he hit the high pitch in the end. I did miss Raihanah & Tanvi in the backup vocals. I thought the crowd was relatively less noisy for this one.

11) Bombay Theme: Naveen on flute and the Asian string player on Cello with Malachi doing some break moves, while another Asian woman contorted her body into weird positions!

12) Mausam and Escape (Slumdog Millionaire): Sanjeev Thomas let his hair and his strings run loose for this one. Oh-My-God-can-a-guitar-sound-like-that-too material! And when people around me exclaimed : "Who is that?" I was only too proud to announce: "Sanjeev Thomas - ARR's lead guitarist !" He just redefines cool!

13) Bharat Humko / Tamizha Tamizha (Bombay): Hariharan finally enters with his wisdom and wearing an atrociously hideous garb that looked like it had been made by tearing the Indian flag apart. Nevertheless as always, he held the entire song together while the other singers struggled to keep pace with Hariji's alaaps. We all know who's the boss !

14) Theeyil Vizhunda theana (Varalaaru) opening humming transition to Lukka Chuppi (Rang De Basanti): Lata Mangeshkar singing the entire song was used a projection alongside Rahman. It looked absolutely ethereal and I am sure every soul wanted to run back home to their mothers when this came on!"Yahan sab kuch hai maa, phir bhi, lagey bin tere mujhko akela!"

15) Aazadi (Bose): Orange, White and Green lights flood the auditorium. ARR on his highest note. Patriotism strikes. Freedom. Goosebumps. Shudder. Spine chills as he hits Aazadi.

16) Liquid Dance (Slumdog Millionaire): The track is played instead and dancers do crazy acrobatics that knots your stomach!

17) Pappu can't dance (Jaane tu ya jaane na): ARR wears some funky headphones and Benny, Blaaze, Neeti & Shweta set the stage on fire ! Short-lived.

18) Tribute to Michael Jackson: ARR sings Black or White that sounds strangely like MJ himself(gooseflesh!) and Malachi does some more break dance and moonwalking dressed up like MJ.

19) ARR on Piano and says : "Let's have some smooth blues" : He plays a mix of Hosanna & Mannippaya which you don't want to end but does so in a couple of seconds and transitions to Hello Mr. Ethirkatchi (Iruvar) performed by Neeti Muhan. She kadichu thuppifies (massacres) the words, but has a creative style of her own version of the song. The last briha bits are very jazzy and sound nothing like Harini's original. It was a very genre-oriented take on the song.

20) ARR walks on to the ramp and begins crooning Marhabaaaaa(Oorvasi) which is forcibly mixed with Taxi taxi being taken over by Blaaze & Benny. I have to admit, Benny is quite the performer ! He flirted with every female dancer who danced past him ! :P

21) Hai Rama (Rangeela): Hariharan & Shweta Pandit - OMG!! Hariharan flatters everybody with his vocal abilities and Shweta Pandit stays on par with him! She picks up notes with such ease and has so much versatility ! She makes an excellent replacement for Chinmayi.

22) Only you: ARR. Unplugged Solo. Should I say more. Period.

23) Medley of Hindustani styles: A tribute to Bade Ghulam Ali Khan Saab: Hariharan, Vijay Prakash, Shweta Pandit and Zeenia Roy sit around ARR while he's on the harmonium. Hariji begins with Bhor Bhaye, snaps into a thumri. Now, Vijay Prakash begins singing Ennavale in Telugu gets the loudest cheer of the day - gets flattered - blushes and sings with full feelings! *heart skips a beat, I fall in love with him at first note. Hariji gets a little jealous and starts Kandukonden kandukonden which he takes to Anbe anbe kolladhe. Zeenia Roy failed miserably to catch up with the tempo despite ARR giving her the cue for Dheeme Dheeme gaoon(Zubeidaa). Shweta Pandit got the crowd out of their seats with her Genda Phool. The crowd went wild when Rahman sang Rehna Tu and even louder when Vijay Prakash ended it with Hosanna. By the end of this performance, I was already head over heels in love with Vijay Prakash.

24) Mehndi hai (Zubeidaa) : The men leave and Shweta Pandit & Zeenia Roy perform decently.

25) Mangalyam (Alaipayuthey): Alphons & Vijay Prakash ! Why can't we hear more of these two! Malachi in a velvet suit, plays matchmaker to 2 dancers! Funny ! The male dancer resembled Madhavan according to the fat maami who sat behind me. *turn left, quickly turn right and repeat procedure as fast as you can*

26) Ringa Ringa (Slumdog Millionaire): Neeti Muhan & Shweta Pandit : The men were drooling all over the two pretty singers who did some booty shaking as well. These girls can sing, I tell you! Chitra & Sadhna Sargam will not be missed at all if these 2 are around. A big treat to the ears as well as the eyes!

27) Ik Onkaar (Rang De Basanti): Harshdeep Kaur in her Sufi ke Sultana garb hits all the right notes and marks the start to the religious turn the concert takes henceforth.

28) O paalanhare (Lagaan): Shweta Pandit & Zeenia Roy: Zeenia begins with an alaap and Shweta takes over. You just don't want her to stop. Divine.

29) Khwaja (Jodhaa Akbar): ARR, Alphons, Vijay Prakash: He starts by saying that this is one of his most special songs. It sounds just about right, yet a little hurried. And it was not followed by Arziyaan, maybe because Javed Ali wasn't there?

30) Ganesh (Bombay Dreams): Huge umbrellas covered in colorful LED lights held by dancers meander through the audience as this track from Bombay Dreams is played. Taken over for the "hoi hoi, la la" part by Benny & Vijay Prakash; it ends with Vijay Prakash screaming "Ganpathy bappa moriya!"

31) Dekho aayi holi (Mangal Pandey): The only thing I remember apart from the colorful dancers is Vijay Prakash! Don't ask me more, I beg of you! *drool*

32) Chaiyya chaiyya (Dil se): Harshdeep Kaur starts off and ARR comes on stage playing his guitar like keyboard(what is it called?) with Vijay Prakash & Alphons. And then before you know anything else, the crowd is off their seats and everyone is running towards the stage. The securities fail to control the crowd and everyone is gathered in front trying to be in the same frame as the maestro. And then you realize that ARR is not singing, its Vijay Prakash, and then you hear a voice in its highest pitch and some neck craning later you realize that its actually Alphons doing the high pitched "Chaiyya" notes. Sukhwinder, dude, you've got some major competition from namma pasanga!

33) Humma -Andha Arabic Kadaloram (Bombay): Blaaze and ARR stand atop the steps, arms on each others shoulders and they swish their hands in unison at the projector and the words HUMMA appear in graffiti style. What do you think would happen? The crowd that had just retreated to their seats is back to the front of the stage. The singers don't stop for a good 6.50 minutes, and the crowd begs them to go on further. ARR is all smiles and keeps continuing with his Humma's. But all good things must come to an end. And it did end and we were almost ready for the next one.

34) Jai ho (Slumdog Millionaire): All the singers unite to croon the title song of the world tour. Everything seems right. The world is a happy place !

35) Vande Mataram: The perfect culmination to every ARR Concert. Your faith is restored and you are left to search for something else to look forward to in your life. And with a very content and a heavy heart, I refused to budge until the curtains dropped and the couple behind me cleared their throats rather too loudly to get me to move.

I was surprised to not find Rahman behind the keyboard through the entire show. He was either singing, playing the piano or climbing up and down the stairs on stage. Oh yes, the stage despite being small, was utilized appropriately. Keith Peters had too small a role for the rockstar that he is. Overall, I did feel that the performances seemed a little rushed when they tried to be super efficient and churned out song after song without a gap at all. It was just too much to take in at one point of time. I wouldn't complain if I had two extra pairs of eyes and ears and an extra set of hands to record ! The dancers who were a motley mix did an excellent job and kept the spirits soaring. And there it all ended and I'm now left with amazing memories and hopes for another concert or the release of a new album by ARR! :D

PS: For the first time after coming to the United States, I'm seeing so many Indians in one place. For a moment I felt like I was in Ranganathan Street ! (Ranganathan Street is a road in Chennai where you will witness a population density that is higher than that of Mongolia!)

Tonight's gonna be a good good night

2010-06-12T22:49:00.003+05:30

Going for the AR Rahman: Jai Ho - The Journey Home concert in Atlantic City, NJ. After my experience in 2008 which is here, this is my second ARR concert in an entirely different continent, halfway across the world. Talking about excitement, I can't quite contain it. The result of which is my incoherent blabber all day. I woke up with a big smile plastered on my face which I can't quite take off.

Needless to say, I'm hoping for a mind-blowing event that promises to unite a show that would be a bit of Broadway - Rock show meets ARR's Magic. I promise to put in every detail tomorrow and make this an everlasting memory!

Jai ho!

Sunday morning

2010-06-06T20:47:00.009+05:30

Ok, so I decided not to give an opportunity to my 5 readers which includes me, my roommate (who I force to read anyways), my mother who thinks she can get to know her daughter's love interests through her blog (ha!), and 2 other people who drop by to find nothing interesting and still leave a comment (oww, thank you guys!) to complain about my long gap between posts. Whew, by the end of that line I'd almost forgotten what I was saying. Talk about me and digressing.

So as the swimming pool outside begins to crowd with women in fancy bikinis with too many knots tied in strategic places and men in modest trunks, I start my sunday morning with Facebook, Twitter and Gmail and a few occasional glances towards the pool. Infact I start my every morning with Facebook, Twitter and Gmail, the added pool glances are merely a weekend affair.

OK, so getting back to the point - Facebook contributes to 75% of my time pass. Thanks to my loyal iPhone (less jealousy please!), I update myself every hour on my friends' relationship statuses, gawk at some display images, wonder how A added B through D who happens to have been my bench mate in 6th standard. All of this is apart from the display of culinary skills by friends who once complained about their college mess food in India and are now making delicious looking, complicatedly spelled desserts in the US. And don't even get me started on the status updates; they range from excited friends going away on vacations to how hot Chennai is (Come on guys, its not like you have been in Alaska all your life and also it doesn't count when you update from an air conditioned room). And there's my cue to switch tabs to Twitter only to find my timeline spammed by Shreya Ghoshal's lack of sleep, Shah Rukh Khan's muscle aches, Abhishek Bachchan's music library shuffling, Sachin Tendulkar's charity work, Paulo Coelho's thathuvams (quotes) and FunnyOneLiner's oh-I've-heard-that-before liners amidst some more of Chennai is so hot ya ! And then of course there's my most loyal timepass - Gmail. I should probably write an entire post dedicated to Gmail; but I'll save that for another day.

What would I do without Gmail in my daily life? It all begins with my mom starting a voice chat to probe about lunch, dinner and then next day's lunch menu with some intermittent touting of how she would not like an American son-in-law and also that buttermilk is better for me than beer. As I appropriately place my "Hmm.. ok maa" I multi-task by providing some intense relationship advice to a friend, reply to unanswered emails and plan my week ahead. No wonder my mom has now started complaining about why is "hmm ok maa" the only thing I've been saying so far.

Oh and just for your information, this post was typed as I did all of the above things and now that my stomach has made its presence felt by grumbling loud enough for everyone to hear, I should hunt down that packet of Maggi and instant soup before beginning to watch random videos on Youtube until its time for dinner ! What - a - life ! :D

2010-06-02T18:49:00.006+05:30

I have reasons to smile, yet I feel unhappy about the imperfections. I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist or a workaholic, but there are a few things that I just cannot tolerate. And it bothers me so much that I impulsively make a few immediate and unwanted alterations only to regret it sooner than later. I constantly try to remind myself that it is never simple to choose between the right thing and the easy thing.
Despite being slightly neurotic about a few things, I fervently start making changes and lose motivation when I don't see results. I should remember not to lose hope and be persistent, yet I hate it when the thought of giving up enters my mind and disturbs everything.
I really did not want this to be my post after so long. I have so many reasons to celebrate and be proud of, but it baffles me as to why I chose this. I can never write something until I truly feel it. I can't write what people want to read, my dwindling readership is the last thing I would want to worry about. I've always tried to get rid of the negativity within by blogging and this baby of mine has borne the brunt for almost 5 years now. Change has to come from within and its about time I push things to the next level.

The List

2010-04-12T07:37:00.005+05:30

She checked it everyday on the notice board in the lobby opposite the elevators. Amidst the roommate wanted, yard sale and restaurant advertisements were the two loosely pinned white sheets with numbers and crosses on them. Everyday she would hurriedly scrutinize the list before she made a mad dash for the shuttle bus honking menacingly outside her block. It was the only sheet that caught her attention every time she stepped out of the elevator. No, the 5$ blender and the 45$ dining set offers did not lure her at all. And she wished "Mandarin" would stop advertising their stinky soy sauced laden tasteless menu.

Anyhow, focusing our attention back to the list; she knew exactly where her apartment number would appear. On the second sheet and ensconced somewhere between the numerous X's would sit her barren apartment number. Everyday her eyes would automatically focus on the blank line in the hope that someday it would bear an X against it. That "X" my dear friends, was the cross that meant there was something waiting for her. It was not like she was expecting something. Well, yes she did expect something or anything from deep within. She just called it her unfulfilled hope to get surprised someday! Oh what a sucker she was for surprises and yet not one still! It wasn't too much to ask for, was it? The only difference was, the day never seemed to come. Birthdays whizzed past and we fast forward the hands of the clock at astronomical speeds to a date in the future. No, our protagonist hasn't grayed or wrinkled and positively did not use a cane to walk yet. It was just a time in the very near future when she knew for sure that she was going to be receiving something. Her little slot was going to be fertile.

The checking routine increased frequencies between trips to the gym, walking the dog, and trips just to check if the cross had arrived itself on her real estate of the list. But it never came. What could have happened? She knew her mother had sent something last week. It should have reached her by now. She was almost going to believe that the position of her apartment number on the list did not adhere to the rules of the Feng Shui. She really shouldn't have cursed "Mandarin"!! A few calls later she found that her package had been misdirected and would reach her the next day. Finally, the package was hand-delivered to her doorstep, bypassing the list.

Alas! She still awaits the day when the little meaningless cross would grace its presence against her apartment number on the list.

Dreams on Fire

2010-03-24T21:08:00.007+05:30

I miss mommy!
I miss driving my bike!
I don't want to cook my food and do the dishes.
I want to eat all the sugary stuff and not worry about becoming fat.
I positively don't want to be doing my laundry, especially not once in 2 weeks.
I want to play literature with Mad and call her Nehru.
I want to eat Bhel Puri and cone ice at Anand Bakery.
I want to hang out at Dappy's with the foosas and pull her cat's tail till it snarls at me.
I want sleepless weekends at ATn watching old Kamal movies.
I want junk jewelry from Pondy Bazaar platform shops.
I want samosa channa at Hot Chips after that.
I want the Holi of 2002.
I miss my lazy evening strolls.
But I do like what I have halfway across the world now.

I thought I'd get here earlier than in 5 years. But, what the heck - this is my 200th post and I don't have anything better to write than what I am currently dreaming / craving/ missing.

PS: The title because as I wrote down this post, I could almost listen to a completely off-key version of the song from Slumdog in my head.

Definitely unsure

2010-03-10T22:43:00.005+05:30

I've been feeling extremely restless and confused for the past couple of days. I don't know what's gotten into me but I seem to be unable to make any decisions for myself. For the uninitiated, I am an extremely organized person and absolutely cannot work until I have my plan sorted out. Sometimes that does include where I would be 5 days from now and what I would be doing. No matter how impulsive I may be, my other side is a fully-functional time-table. Sometimes I anticipate things so much in advance that any small change in schedule puts me off track. And of course there are the deadlines. I've been wanting to finish this one report for almost a week and a half now and I'm nowhere close to even beginning it. Procrastination is my middle name! :P
And then there's my obsession for change. I get bored really easily and need changes at short intervals. Sometimes I wish for something, and when I'm close to getting it, I start dreading it.
I really should loosen up a little but then I get so conscious about the amount of time I waste and all the work that has piled up. I'm throwing quite a fit now. I feel completely out of order and need to pull my life back on track. I'm supposed to be on holiday this week, but it feels nothing like it. I'm getting claustrophobic with the place I'm in. Deadlines and projects are bothering me. I want to be in a place where I can't be long, because reality throws me out. I want a life full of passion and no pressures. And knowing that my chosen path is nothing like it, I find it hard to accept, sometimes even tempted to switch. I dread the unpredictability as much as I love the change.
Dear lord, get me out of this ! Grant me some sanity !

Addiction

2010-03-03T23:26:00.005+05:30

Kanne thadumaari nadanthen
Noolil aadum mazhayaagi ponen
Unnal thaan kalaignaai aaneney
Tholai thoorathil velicham nee
Unai nokkiye enai eerkiraaye

Melum melum urugi urugi
Unai enni yengum
Idhayathai enna seiven
Unai enni yengum

Cannot get this out of my head! Could I love something more than this ? Yes, even my lust to listen to Aaromale has lessened. If I watch the movie, I'll remember to close my eyes when this comes on. I just cannot imagine Simbu lip syncing this. But then if SJ Surya could do Aararai kodi, this seems fair too! *sigh!

I have become

2010-02-26T01:11:00.007+05:30

an uninteresting conversationalist.
disinterested to yap endlessly.
sick of snowy, slippery days.
tired of dressing up in multiple layers.
addicted to TLC.
less of an optimist.
a staunch believer of reverse psychology.
picky with my food.
thrifty about my budgets.
interested again to play scrabble.
restless to complete this semester.
impatient about the future.
a lousy reader.
and an even more boring writer.

Vividly tinted

2010-02-01T05:35:00.006+05:30

There are positive vibes from all around and things assure of working in your favor. Its the happiness of being well fed, rested and having nothing to worry about. Its the joy of waking up before your irritating alarm goes off and realizing you have a good hour of sleep time left. The life devoid of any responsibilities or pressures. No mad rush to meet deadlines or to maintain performance. You live each day like it were the last of your life. Your head is fuzzy with so much lasting happiness that even opioids would miserably fail to give. You see the world through pink tinted glasses. The sky seems bluer and the air has a zesty touch. The grass smells fresher and looks so much greener. The rainbow is outside your window every morning. You wake up with a smile every morning and you know it in your gut that it is going to be a great day.

And then, you sigh and hope that would happen to you in reality and get back to your chores after putting it on your blog ! :D

Vinnaithaandi Varuvaya Music

2010-01-15T23:36:00.003+05:30

Much awaited from ARR after his Oscar, Vinnaithaandi Varuvaya's music held high hopes way ahead of its release. And when it came, it amazed everyone. According to me, this is one of ARR's most quirky and experimental albums in recent times. The songs have a completely different approach and do not follow any standard patterns. And that is exactly what gives the album a raw and exotic appeal which doesn't conform to usual mass standards.

Much might have been said, here are my few cents about Vinnaithaandi Varuvaya.

Until something better catches my fancy, Aaromale continues on an endless loop.

2010 Random beginnings

2010-01-11T00:38:00.005+05:30

Wasn't it last week that the break began ? Didn't I just build my first snowman yesterday ? Wasn't it only a couple of hours ago that D & I were gushing over silly things during our chilly walks in C-City ?

Isn't it always that when you reflect back over time, it seems to have flown so fast, but when you anticipate something, it doesn't seem to bust its backside anywhere ? I can't think of any smartass quote that would quench my qualms. Time is shrewd and it knows how to play its game well. Period.

Its 10 days into 2010 and as always I have no resolutions for this year. I would really like to do a few things, but I wouldn't want to put a deadline against them. I haven't reached that state of desperation yet. As decided earlier, I did not get to read much. I did listen to music that I really wanted to hear before. Jazz is good for the agitated mind ! Daringly went ahead with snipping off a few extra inches of hair, which ultimately led amma to gasp on video. Definitely caught up on a lot of sleep, not that I missed much of it! Watched a lot of movies. I didn't know that American cinema halls don't break for intervals or assign seats either! My first in 3D movie too - good experience.
I'm trying to cram as many activities I can in this last week before I get back to the grind. I still yearn for that feeling of excitement as you flip through the pages of a book and sit through the early hours to finish it. (*reminds self that this would happen if I accommodate a little less sleep-time*). I hope to plan and work in a more focused manner. I am going to try not to cuss every time I put on multiple layers of clothes or swear loudly when I step out from the warmth into the *grrr.. below-freezing-point-temperatures. How many months more!??!

Maybe these are called resolutions, but I don't want to jinx anything by affixing names to it. I'm going to stop before I conclude or change my mind.
Until later... if anyone still reads me!

Big bad world

2009-12-27T21:16:00.011+05:30

After 5 months, today, the change has finally struck me in the face. The independence has made its presence felt. The responsibility is trying to dominate over the carelessness. The inner child has gone into hibernation, waiting to be woken up at opportune moments and a strange woman who I'm not very familiar with is steering my life. Maturity, as some would call it is a very strange thing.

I've become a victim of mundane chores and common drudgery. So many things have changed. From, sleeping on time so that I am attentive at work the next morning. Packing lunch for the next day and remembering to take it in the rush in the morning. Fighting the urge not to snack on junk in vain. Waiting desperately for Fridays and all the fun things you could do during the weekend. Putting on that pathetic TGIF status message. Sleeping, cooking for the remaining week, catching up with family and friends over phone, mumbling how the weekend flew by and you couldn't remotely do anything because, the thought of a dreadful Monday morning is all that your head held.

I'm definitely sane enough to realize that work is just work and not such a big deal; but then why does it seem like such a big deal and hinder all other activities? I only moan endlessly about how I have no time to go out and if I do, blame it on the below-freezing temperatures to spoil my temperament. I worry when I think that I've lost the ability to write. I no longer have the patience to read a book at a stretch. My fuse is shorter and the most trivial of things seem to set me off.

It is true, I do miss the spontaneity of doing things at random, the enthusiasm and the undying hope that once existed. I'm left to chase more practical dreams and forced to hold back all the frivolous ones for practicality must be executed when you are living by yourself and managing your money. I do dare to dream, but do not carry them out for the fear of being ridiculed. I do not put up an exterior with an infectious spirit because I do not want to be branded childlike.
What has life gotten me into ? Is this what I wanted ? Its upsetting how, what I came chasing as my dream has changed my entire perception of living. It still is hard to conclude whether this is for the better or not; it is just too short-lived to decide at the moment.

But it is true that I do miss life that was with all of its randomness and spontaneity. Maybe this is what they call maturity ?
I welcome myself to the big, bad, real world ! It does suck, but I think I will survive.

**Phew.. feels so good to write a long post after ages!

Snow & Show

2009-12-21T01:12:00.006+05:30

The winter break has officially begun with my snow fantasy fulfilled! I was at my aunt's place having an absolute ball of a time when the snow hit. We sled, tried relentlessly to build a snowman, cuddled up with hot chocolate near the fireplace watching movies, shopped shopped and did I say shopped ? Dressed in a milllion layers, we battled the snow yet again, trying to excavate the car and pave the driveway. With frostbitten hands and feet we rushed back into the warmth for more hot beverages. But I must admit, despite all the inconveniences, it is absolutely delightful to look at the white bed of snow over almost everything.

On an entirely different note, I'm really looking forward to spending more time doing things that I have missed out on, and this is definitely one of them.

Until later, be good !

A 100 days in the new life !

2009-11-20T00:13:00.005+05:30

Did you all think that I had fled from the scene forever ? Probably you did and aren't even reading this ?
Anyhow, so much has changed since my last post. I'm writing from an entirely different continent, several miles away from home and all the familiar stuff. I couldn't possibly think this would have manifested a few months back, but now that it has, I'm finding it hard to believe that I'm actually living it !
Till now has been the longest I've been away from home and the days are only going to be extending further. I'm in a country where everything is done exactly the opposite of how I used to do it. I can only laugh thinking about how I've managed till now and shudder thinking of how I'm going to scrape through further. I've had so many memorable moments which I am sure I can never forget, and will probably share those as future posts when I find more time.
I'm experiencing a colder climate after almost 11 years and possibly snow soon ! I'm cooking my own food, much to my mom's amusement and trying to manage my expenses wisely enough to control the urge to splurge on bags and clothes! Even though I miss a lot of things back home, there are so many things that keep me on my toes here !
I'm trying to survive and I think I'm doing something on those lines currently.
Until later.. be good !

Joys of the written word

2009-06-30T07:18:00.001+05:30

I've been gobbling down book after book. Its almost like I have a thirst that can't be quenched by any water of the world. I'm re-reading a few books just to refresh myself with the happiness that came along with it. Malory Towers for instance, I can't tell you enough how often I used to rent out that book from the library during my school days. The uncontrollable sobbing when Dumbledore and Dobby died. Then there was the Oliver Twist which was a part of the syllabus at school which I couldn't bear to complete then, and now it brings back so many fond thoughts. Oh how could I forget the treacherous Shakespeare!! I played the shrew in Taming of the Shrew during the school anniversary and it was terrorizing recording the dialogues with GLo and RC breathing fire down my neck trying to make me pronounce the words right. I still shudder when I think of the insults thatha screamed at me when he made me read the unabridged version before him to rehearse. The obsession with which Daps & I used to read Goosebumps and promptly report and share the experiences, priceless!
There are so many books that I still want to read, but somehow never got to reading yet. It feels incomplete to end the day without a few authors. And whenever someone asks me who my favorite author is, or what my favourite book is, I am always at a loss for wordsI feel that there is absolutely no other activity that gives any better joy than what the written word can make you experience.

Emma awaits. .

Mango mania

2009-06-16T16:31:00.003+05:30

As the irritation and anxiety creep higher and the summer heat shows no sign of going any lower. . I decided to follow as suggested by a mortal with a higher sense of weirdness, eat more mangoes !
So I make sure that I eat atleast 2 mangoes everyday. Its become like a ritual now, for every meal seems incomplete without one. I believe in eating them whole; not sliced, diced or peeled. I love to bite off the skin with the teeth and what pleasure it brings when the juices drip down the forearms down to the elbows leaving a orangish yellow trail. Digging your teeth into the fleshy pulp and smearing the face like a child. The cheeks, chin and the skin above the lip all sticky and mangoey !
So all of you who are tense or troubled or anxious - Go eat mangoes like there would be none tomorrow! Bring it on, sunshine !

Clearly, I've gone nuts! :|

Childhood revisited

2009-06-04T22:59:00.003+05:30

I cleaned one fourth of the book shelf today which is a part of my duty that is already overdue. I was forced to yield today mainly because the mother was close to her scream-threshold. So I got onto my section of the 4 part bookshelf which is mainly stuffed with whimsical purchases of pure reading pleasure from Crossword and Landmark. Anyways, so here I was duster in hand picking out books, fondly sifting through some books passed on by thatha with his side notes about narrations and references in green ink, running my fingers over the frayed and brittle pages. After picking out close to 40 books, I found about half a dozen notebooks from school safely tucked away at the back, all tautly wrapped in brown paper and labeled. It was a moment of pure joy to recall all the hullabaloo that used to happen at home a few days before school was due to reopen for the new term. Thatha and Maa hurriedly wrapping notebooks and textbooks with brown paper, thatha neatly and sometimes on request, fancily writing my name, class, subject name and roll number on the label in his calligraphic handwriting. The white uniform crisply starched and dry cleaned. New canvas shoes, socks and polish from Bata. Pestering paa for a new bag which would be relented only on obtaining the top grade in class. . sigh! Fancy pouches to hold stationary - what pride it used to bring to flaunt the flashy pencil boxes and fragrant erasers on the reopening day. New set of black clips and scrunchies to fasten hair. I'm so glad my school didn't insist on ribbons and plaits! Rushing through the dreaded holiday homework which was conveniently forgotten until the last day of the holidays.
Those were undoubtedly the best days of my life, no matter how they passed, nothing till date has brought so much joy and nostalgia to write about.

The horrible month that was - May

2009-06-01T11:07:00.006+05:30

What a gruelling month that was - May!

The sun beating down mercilessly, elevated electricity bills, a trip to bangalore, a friend's wedding, a million hits on this blog, catching up with a few friends after ages, uncertainity prevailing, mentally exhausting moments, Mavudu and Mangoes, physically tiring walks, a glimmer of hope, the same hope being shattered to nothing, Uno, late night bitching sessions, books waiting to be finished, An Equal Music, Johny howling his guts out and not letting us sleep, the unwillingness to throw away redundant items, seeing a loved one in pain, a totally addictive lingo, sitting and counting at the furnace like copy cat, advanced level of yoga, the desperate need for change, iPod begging to be charged and updated with a new playlist, delaying the cleaning of book shelves, the confusions, the longing, the dreams, the goals

- hoping June is more joyous, decisive and positively progressive.

Word Power

2009-05-15T19:26:00.003+05:30

She read the note over and over again till she could recite it verbatim. It seemed to evoke mixed feelings from within her and she didn't know what to make of it. There was a sense of hope, yet along with it came a lot of uncertainty and anxiety. Should she be happy for the hope or distressed for what could happen otherwise? Maybe she should stop thinking about both and wait for time to bring answers as it does always. Why couldn't solutions come easier, Why isn't there some make-believe Utopian land where she could escape to from her marsh of thoughts? She wished, hoped, sighed all in vain.
Again, she read the note hoping to discover some underlying meaning to a few simple words. Words, they fail you when you need them the most and come tumbling through at all the wrong times. Weird things they are, words. They sting, soothe, encourage, praise, condole and make you feel all those things when strung together, that you can only experience and never express.

A Million

2009-05-07T16:55:00.002+05:30

The brush made random strokes across the canvas. Pastels and oils sprayed, spewed and spilled. Crayons treading uncharted boundaries across the center. Some blotched, some merely spread in a fit of anger. Some caressed and rubbed by the palm, rest diffused beneath it. The fingers hued with acrylics. The once white t shirt had no white anymore. Here he was, a small blot in the painting class amidst the rest.

Also,
A million hits ! Over 4 years! Witnessing the growing up. Thank you! :)

Clumsy games

2009-04-19T17:22:00.000+05:30

I have never been good at outdoor sports. My foray into sports started and ended with swimming (which I am thankfully good at!) and badminton! I still recall the days when I used to watch(I'm just too ashamed to call it fielding) all my cousins play cricket or volleyball in the lanes near our house. I was always asked to "stand the farthest and run after the ball if it ever came in my direction. But most of the times, it wouldn't. And whenever I was asked to throw a ball, it would never take a parabolic path and always end up in all the possible wrong directions like a wimp! Oh forget that, to catch a ball, it just takes too much of an effort for me to see the ball when thrown and coordinate the locomotion accordingly. In the name of catching, I would end up clapping my hands together and closing my eyes hoping the thing would miraculously land in my hands somehow. Some of the times, I would even end up sprawling on all fours with my vain attempts. That was when my family(who apparently are good at some sport or the other) decided that I was never going to even be mediocre on the track or manage to catch something that was thrown to me. Trust me, they would party if I ever caught something. I think its mainly because I have an innate talent of being clumsy. I can't walk from one place to another without bumping my foot against something, or upsetting stuff that was placed on the way. My mother would still yell "Careful" when I stood anywhere remotely close to her favorite vase! And whenever my aunts asked me to carry stuff, my mum used to watch me like a hawk, waiting to clean up after I'd tumbled or spilled. Regrets apart, I've had my share of running around and covering myself with mud and scraping my knees and palms during games and a sound share of blasphemy from mom and a good dosage of tetanus for the same.
Anyways, I'm a definitely a little less clumsy now and put all my efforts into behaving ladylike.
Hey, where's the appreciation? :P

King size Life !

2009-04-05T12:46:00.004+05:30

I'm setting a whole new example to the institution called lethargy. Its been almost a month since I posted, and its definitely not because I'm busy. I'm slowly creeping into the wonderful world of sloths. Its an amazing feeling to wake up every morning and realize that you have absolutely nothing to do, no deadlines to meet, no errands to run, nobody to please and all the day to yourself.
It does gets boring after a while, but that's when my sense of randomness takes over and I end up doing the most ridiculous of things to keep myself engaged. I'm trying to cross out a lot of things on my "Things to do before you turn twenty two" list and some of the things are way too mortifying to be written here and I shall not plummet my pride any further on this blog.
This part of life is undoubtedly the best ever and would never return again. Or maybe it would return in its own different way. But, before the big bad world beckons, I'm doing all that I can to live it up in style. Trust me, its definitely fun!

Oh yeah, I graduated too! :P

Eva

2009-03-07T23:18:00.007+05:30

I love. I repulse.
I fantasize. I dream.
I laugh. I sob. I wish.
I giggle. I bitch. I gush.
I command. I endure. I prevail.
I am the belief. I am the girl power.
I'm the optimist. I'm the pragmatist. I'm the whiner.
I break barriers. I girdle emotions.
I am beauty. I'm the fashionista.
I am the start. I am the end.
I fuss. I ponder. I brood.
I am each of you!
I am the truth.

Make believe

2009-02-21T22:40:00.001+05:30

Sometimes I feel like I live in a fantasy world of my own. I pretend to be a princess living in an astronomically huge castle with winding stone staircases and windows as big as movie screens. I have birds and little animals for friends. Twitter twitter they say.
I have no other work than to doll myself up in flowing lace gowns and plait my long hair with satin ribbons. My chores would be to weave silk, sing dulcet melodies with the birds and nibble nuts. The biggest confusions in my life would be to choose between chestnut, maple and oak. I would occasionally be haunted by nightmares that consist of the nefarious witch who tries to kill me with a poisoned pear. The handsome prince fills up my dreams and rescues me on his white stallion that gallops faster than lightning. No, he does not wear a suit of armor, he likes to show off!
We would eat grapes from the vineyards, walk around pine trees at twilight and sigh lovingly at the moon. Time would be our slave and happiness would pave the path to destiny.

How I wish !

Fusion of Love

2009-02-15T12:04:00.008+05:30

She was warped.
He was impartial.

She chose whims.
He insisted on rationale.

She lived jauntily.
He kept constant vigilance.

She bubbled enthusiasm.
His feet never left the ground.

She longed for a fairy tale life.
He lived the moment.

She dreamed.
He made them true.

She always fret.
He always listened.

She initiated.
He completed.

She said I love you!
He said I do too!

Opinion does matter

2009-02-05T19:40:00.008+05:30

It really annoys me sometimes when people try to impose their views upon my head in the most lubricous of ways. Everyone in this world is entitled to an opinion, I believe. It might not be the best or something that others don't agree with, but its still my opinion and I will stand by it.
But of course, there are times when I can't quite convince my thoughts across to the other person, and it irritates me all the more when they don't even make the slightest of efforts to understand me. However ridiculous it may sound, I think people should respect each other for what they are. Why can't anyone just listen to me without being remotely judgmental about anything especially when I'm only trying to take things out? In the name of doing so, why do we get disappointed when things don't go the way expected or when people don't react favorably to our arguments ?
You live life the way you want it, but there are people who expect you to do something else. And when expectations rise, so do disappointments or happiness whichever chooses to stand by you.
You can't hate these people also, for sometimes these are the ones most dear to you. All this and more just makes me tug at my hair and run away to some place where I don't know anyone. The saner part of me just started screaming that none of this is worth it. The worst is yet to come, or is it over ?

Weird display names and shopaholics

2009-01-29T20:29:00.002+05:30

What's with people on social networking sites changing their display names to an incomprehensible mess of symbols like @ ! |< instead of using alphabets to spell out their name ? Honestly, its definitely not a nice way to display your creativity according to me! It gets even worse when they have a celebrity's picture for display and it really gets on my short fused nerves. I don't care if you have Santa Claus as your display image, but do spell out your name, for you exist on someone's friend list not just to increase your friend count as a measure of your coolness. Or wait a minute, is that really why ? And you're provided with a status message tab to notify people of your updates, why change the display name making it all the worse to recognize you? Oh whatever!

I've been reading too many books of lately, and the latest to the list is "The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic". Honestly speaking, I fell for its glossy cover texture and the affable print. (Dear lord, the cover is pink !) Anyways, its a typical chick-lit book, and there was a point when I threw the book down in mere frustration. But now that I'm done with it, I feel really funny about it, in a ridiculous way. Now I'm dying to watch the movie adaptation of the book. Also, I'm waiting to watch the TV premiere of Oceans 13 tomorrow. George Clooney, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt. Drool.

Oh so Pink

2009-01-23T11:54:00.000+05:30

For my music review of Delhi 6, go here.

What is it really with girls/women and the color pink? Is it mandatory that every girl ought to own a pair of pink colored garb ? A few of my friends were flabbergasted when I contorted my face on seeing their newly-acquired-eighteenth-pink salwar kameez.
Having been brought up in a family full of boys, I have only inherited their worn-out t shirts and ruggedly torn jeans along with their cricket bats and badminton rackets which I am dutifully passing down to nephews.
In another case, when I went shopping to buy a dress for my neighbour's newborn girl (Oh what a sight she is!), all I could find was pink pink pink and more shades of pink ! Why can't baby girls be dressed in blue or green or purple or any other color. Or is it put down in any baby rule book that blue is for boys and pink is for girls? What a glib way to differentiate the sexes right after birth!

On the contrary, I have great respect for men who can pull off a pink shirt and still retain their masculinity in it!
How can I write an entire post on pink and not mention roses !! Especially, those gigantic pink roses that literally grow out from behind some women's ears. I'm sure someday they would sprout a bud or two outside their ears, if you water them regularly. I have nothing against roses, but again, I love white and yellow roses the best!

I'm not against the color, but I hate women and feminity being associated with the color pink. I've always felt, pink can never look chic, mellow maybe, but never chic!

Should you be confused, maybe you should read this post on negating my own statements. :P

Just for the record, Pink Floyd happens to be my favorite band ! :P

Dreamy Heights

2009-01-02T20:25:00.005+05:30

She had been literally haunting every real estate agent on the directory listings, tormenting every human who lived there, pestered every lady who gossiped about it. But it was sheer luck when Ahana picked up the call during one of her meetings at office. It was the Real Estate agent telling her the news that she had been desperate to hear.

"Yes madam, they are backing out. We can proceed."

Quickly excusing herself out of the conference room, Ahana called her husband to give him the news. He let out a squeal of delight which sounded pretty much as if he'd just delivered a baby in his cabin.

"Yes yes sweets, I'll work on the loans right away. It would be a costly affair, but with both our salaries, I think we can work it out. Just bring a copy of the documents and meet me at the bank at four."

It was the day of yes's. Everything seemed to be working out like a miracle. And soon it was time to go and look at the place which was now costing them a fortune and was the solitary provider of excitement in their dull lives.

Holding hands, they entered the unfurnished apartment on the 5th floor. The place smelled of wet plaster and was in an unimaginable mess of wood shavings, dried remains of paint, sand and cakes of plaster. They walked across the living room to the french windows that opened out into a balcony. The view was worth every penny. People could just not see the beauty in what they could see. In one dramatic sweep, together they opened the french windows and almost tipped it off its hinge and caught it in the nick of time, before it could land its way down five floors.

"Oops, now that needs some screws." said Ahana holding the tipsy window and leaning it against the wall to prevent further damage.

"This is it!" screamed Anuj with his arms spread wide by his sides like a hero straight out of a Bollywood movie, while Ahana stared at him with a raised eyebrow expression.

None of this was done on cue. This was a dream, that belonged to both of them individually. A dream that was mutual to both. A dream, that had blossomed their love and led to marriage. A dream that struggled initially, matured and now was close to being real.

"This is absolutely insane! I never really thought this was ever possible. It even seems slightly ridiculous for the price we're paying for it." exclaimed Anuj

"I know! But just look at it. The number of memories this view brings along with it, is more than enough to keep us going. What do you say ?" asked Ahana gently holding Anuj's hands.

"I say, I want to go to school and fall in love with you all over again Mrs. Roll number seven."

And for a good two hours from then, they both stood rooted at the same spot staring at the institution that gave them all their dreams. A dream that was now real in mud, paint, concrete and well. . some dirt!

Bonded

2008-12-24T19:15:00.008+05:30

When it comes to writing about friends, somehow words fail to communicate my sentiments. The feeling of jubilation on meeting a few of them after years. The excitement caused while spending time with them. The warm hugs. The perception of pure-unadulterated-joy. The gushing moments of giggles and the loud raucous laughter.
No matter how much I try to describe it, you'll never be able to fathom the degree of happiness it can arouse in me.
We come from different walks of life, speak different languages at home, but still can gel so beautifully despite living in different continents and not having met each other for months together. Its miraculous how we cannot feel out of touch even when we meet after months together. They say separation increases the love, hell yeah, I agree! :)
And there are the ones whom we are constantly in touch with. Right from good mornings to sweet dreams - these are ones who complete me. Rather, they are like my alter ego. We have nothing in common. Our tastes are diametrically opposite, but we are like two sides of the same coin. We don't need words to explain ourselves. They can complete my sentences. Know my next move. Again, I have no words to express my love for them.

But whatever said and done, these people mean the world to me and every moment in the wake with them is undeniably amusing and the memories are worth a lifetime of happiness.

Nostalgia. . in bits and pieces

2008-12-17T22:47:00.005+05:30

Random words scribbled across pages. . . Doodles on the back cover of notebooks.
Empty confetti boxes & scribbles on switch panels.
Cash. . a lot of cash stowed away in the pocket of a jeans that doesn't fit anymore!
The first fountain pen. Blue and ivory.
The man who gave it to me.
Autographs on white board. . . Initials engraved on colored chalks.
Learning serendipity. . .the woman who taught it.
First pair of dancing shoes. . silver with navy trimming.
Falls, Cracks, Plasters, Stumbles . . aplenty. . . what a klutz. . still !
Butter fingers!
The person who gave that name.
The 21 cakes. .

Its ironic how little insignificant things can trigger such strong emotions and a sense of nostalgia in our lives.

Juxtaposing extremities

2008-12-05T00:30:00.005+05:30

I am amazed at myself! Really, not self-love. At least not this time ! I am completely amused at my own ability to say something and then contradict it with my actions. When I think about both my actions and my statements, I am confused about my policies. I don't really know where my inclinations lie. Am I just following a trend ? Do I really want to be a rebel ? Am I simply pacifying things in order to avoid ripples in placid waters and in the process losing out on what I want to be my individual stamp?
Should I call it dissatisfaction ? No, not really, because I like things the way they are. But I don't want to be someone who hates change. Heck no, I love change, I'll get bored otherwise. I also don't want to lose out on things that make me happy by making people think that boredom is the root cause of my fallacies. When I actually think that is true.

Maybe I just lack skills to evade a situation and flip things in my favor. Then why don't I like people getting disappointed when I behave otherwise? People never like disagreements. Its easier to just accept the popular or the dominating view rather than be the only voice fighting for a cause that is just yours.
Again there is the big question if your voice is right or wrong. But who is to judge that ?
Guess, the easiest way out is to keep the trap shut, but I have the need to take it out! Guess I just did ! Or is it too late and the damage is done ?

Of rains, blasts and nothing much!

2008-11-29T17:48:00.003+05:30

Life at the moment is like watching a movie in a language you don't understand! Maybe that contributes to not liking the movie in itself. Flooded roads, cloudy skies, sudden downpours, chilly breeze - none of these being my favorites.
Unreachable people, cut off from the world outside, staring at the firing happening in Bombay on TV - hurried calls to relatives to inquire if all is fine, screaming a few swearwords at the people responsible, getting upset at not being able to do much about it, (if blogging or changing status messages would help, I would have done it long back!) brooding over the same with folks at home, all conversations boiling down to pretty much nothing. Period.

Sit by the window in a plush armchair with a warm cuppa of green tea in hand, listening to some music I can't connect to - it doesn't matter- , texting friends, flipping magazines, munching on things I swore I wouldn't touch ever again, ignoring calls and chats - just not in the mood for a conversation -, thinking of the things I could / should have been doing, blank, nothing, standstill is where me and my world have reached.

Hope can set you free

2008-11-07T19:21:00.004+05:30

I was watching The Shawshank Redemption again yesterday! And hence my favorite line from the movie has inspired an entire post. I've written enough about the importance of hope in my life. I thrive on it every single day till god knows when! I wish my blog lives to be written about that day sometime further down the lane.
There are a dozen things I want to do right now. But its not always that you're wishes are fulfilled instantly. There are compromises, adjustments, postponing, reluctance and so much more standing in your way. It won't take long to topple them down and go ahead with what I want to do, but waiting for the opportune moment has become an integral part of my life. When you do it for so long, it becomes a part of you, and when things go right, you tend to doubt their existence.
And that's when you hope - you hope things remain the same forever, you hope time moves faster at times, and you hope against all the hope hopen !!
Right now, I just wish people would agree to my whims and let me proceed with my rebellious and opposing ideas! Period.

Fashion Fetish

2008-10-22T18:40:00.000+05:30

She stood before the full length mirror and looked at herself from head to toe. The peach dress brought out the blush in her cheeks and highlighted her chocolate brown eyes. Ah! The peach dress that she had wanted for so long, was now hugging every curve in the right places on her slim body. She twirled before the mirror and let the flowing material sway to a halt. She twirled a few more times and looked at her reflection. She was always called a princess by him and today she truly looked and felt like one!

He was staring at her from the hallway and saw her smoothing the sides of her gown. She looked ethereal in that peach dress. All his regrets about spending a fortune on the dress vanished the moment he saw her wearing it.

She went to the closet in the corner and picked out a matching coral high heeled sandal. She had always wanted to wear those and strut about like a model. She sat on the edge of the bed and gently strapped them onto her petite feet. They didn't fit quite well, but she wasn't bothered. She slowly got off the bed and swayed on the spot against gravity because of the height of the heels. She took a step forward and the 4 inch heel twisted and snapped neatly into two, throwing her headfirst onto the floor. Aaaaaaaaahhhhh......

He saw her disappear for a moment into the closet and return with those toe-fracturing-killer sandals as he called them. The very sight of that particular footwear sent shivers down his spine. He'd spent a whole week pampering his toes after he'd accidently gotten stamped on by those. He saw her slip into them and anticipated what was to happen next. Uh oh!

Dev caught Riya in the nick of time, before she hit the floor. He carefully steadied her in his arms and saw a tear trickle down her rosy cheeks. Hearing the noise, Shuba came running into the bedroom and saw Dev cradling their 7 year old Riya in his arms and consoling the little one.

"But I wanted to look pretty like mummy..." chirped Riya between tears

Shuba gently took the broken Manolo Blahnik from Riya's clasp and wiped the tears from her daughter's face.

"But you are already prettier than mummy, my love. Those weren't going to make you any prettier." she said pointing at the snapped stilettos that had cost half her monthly salary.

"Now, come on, does Riya want to burst crackers on Diwali, or does she want to sit and cry here?" exclaimed Dev to distract both the women.

"Riya wanfs fo burfft cracker" said the little one excitedly showing her wide grin that was now missing two of her front teeth.

Whizzing thoughts

2008-10-06T00:14:00.001+05:30

Its funny how time flies when you don't want it to, and how it drags itself to heights of boredom when you wish it to flee! Err... I'm not sure which of the 2 phases I am going through right now!!

There are a million and a half things on my mind - Each spinning and whizzing past one another like snitches in the Harry Potter books. I hate it when this enforced schedule takes over and makes me lose command over life. But, this is exactly how I wanted my life to be, a month back. Its strange how you wish for certain things and when they come true, you don't want them anymore. I can't bear monotony. Change, however consistent it may be, has always been something that I wished for in regular dosages in my life.

But now, things have been insanely crazy and out-of-control at my end. Socialising has reached its limits and I would love some solitude and peace restored in my life.

I'm being tempted to stay disconnected from all sorts of communication! But of course, not for long! :D

Strange

2008-08-02T20:32:00.000+05:30

The title explains exactly the feeling that I am experiencing currently.

Today, I'm done with my 7th semester officially ! (You needn't gasp!) Yes ! We've had exactly 40 working days ! But the whole finality of college ending and no more lectures(just project in the final sem) brings this feeling which I really can't decipher. Its not of sentiment I am sure. I am definitely happy to be done with this. I still can't exactly pinpoint what I am going through.

The only thing I have left, is to deal with the syndrome of growing up and pretending to act more mature while I still am not ready for it. The big bad world beckons !

in Significance of the self

2008-07-26T19:19:00.000+05:30

It all seems cryptic at the first glance. You step back and look at the whole thing taking in more than what you must. It gets a little overwhelming, but you get used to it after a while. You try to change, but it is the inevitable. You can't. The power is killing you. You are helpless. You submit. You sympathize with the self. Pity, compassion, sympathy seem mere words that noone can relate to. The world now seems a much cruel place and its inhabitants all monsters. The ones who meant most are to be feared. You have no choices. You must not complain. Blame, insignificance and immaturity are synonymous to you. The once cute to be clumsy reaches its apex of irritation. What was once new is the mundane now. But you must not regress, this is what you are to be. This is what you wanted. Your wishes are now true. The regret is simply the twinge of the conscience. You learn to ignore it. Suddenly, you see that's what you are to do. You find your way out. The reverie ends right here and you wish all that you felt never comes true. Your deepest inhibitions to never surface and remain sunk in the deep ocean of emotion !

Elated & Belated

2008-07-15T20:05:00.000+05:30

She was sure he'd forget it again. And right she was.
Arpita and Aroh were married happily for 3 years. There life was all roses and pink but the only problem was, their day of matrimony was never remembered by Aroh despite several reminders on the mobile or circling the date on the calendar in a bright red circle on July 1.
July 1, the day both knew happiness and a sense of achievement like never before. Their families had approved a love marriage after much opposition and criticism. And their fairy tale life began until their first anniversary came and Aroh sinned and earned the wrath of his better half by casually exclaiming that - "I don't believing in celebrating just this one day". And so he escaped the following year too.

And if you expected me to continue the story with some shoddy twist, then be prepared to be disappointed, for that was just a prelude to me forgetting my dearest blog's 3rd anniversary. Do wish her well, for I'm waking her up from a deep slumber after several inconsistent posts.

For those who don't know; yours truly can now also be read at www.findnearyou.com and I'm shifting all my music reviews to http://songnlyrics.blogspot.com

Ada Music - A Review

2008-05-23T10:40:00.000+05:30

A.R Rahman only puts his fans in a dilemma with this album. It is very hard to pinpoint one song as a favourite. With Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na music also released simultaneously, I am in a state of utter confusion. Anyways, I love this album so much that I had to pen down what I thought of Ada's musical journey by ARR.

Ishq Ada hai - Rashid Ali
Rashid has a voice that could have the narcotic feeling on you. Especially the varying pitches at which he sings, leaves you in a phase where you don't want the song to end. Personally, I love the part where he sings - "..ishq gila hai, ishq sila hai, ishq ibaadat ka silsila hai" around 1.20. There's so much pain and power at the same time. And the careless guitar strumming throughout the song and in certain pauses is brilliant.

Hawa Sun Hawa - Sonu Nigam, Alka Yagnik
Alka Yagnik sounds a lot younger than her other recent songs. Whenever Sonu says "hawa", there is a hollowness to his voice that makes you feel like a gush of air just passed across you. Beautiful flute interludes. I've always felt Sonu's pronunciations are brilliant. A completely refreshing song.

Gumsum - Sonu Nigam, Alka Yagnik
What variations! Sonu Nigam is on a roll. Just listen to the way he opens the song. The notes are hit bang on target. It makes your neck go backward and forward. Very catchy beats. And the bass guitar (??) or the drums(??) at the end of song surprise you. Totally unexpected and it makes you want to pose like the guitarist of a rock band and strum the air.

Gulfisha - Sonu Nigam, Sunidhi Chauhan & Vivian Chaix
The song opens with Vivian's chanting of what sounds to me like Parseltongue. And Sunidhi is one person who can beautifully carry off a base voice as well as high notes. The way both Sonu & Sunidhi sing the word "Ada" is very flirtatious. Finally, there is an alaap done by Sunidhi which gradates to Vivian's chanting and closes on a very mysterious note.

Meherbaan - AR Rahman
Oh my god !! I'm stoned. This song gives you a sense of hope and the feeling of being loved by all. He surprises you with his pitch at the end of the song which is very unlike the soft start. I have a thing for ARR's way of singing words with the "Z" sound in them. The man and his magical strings. Could it get any better? From the be-swaadi ratiyan in Guru's Tere Bina to the be-zameen and be-aasman in meherban, you couldn't ask for more, trust me.

Tu mera hai - Chitra, Sukhwinder Singh, Naresh Iyer
This sounds very familiar. I really can't place it now. Chitra sounds very Bollywoodish, and her octaves for 'Ya Rab Shukriya' match Sukhwinder's right amount of power for a song of love. I had gooseflesh when I heard it for the first time. Naresh's interludes have a twinge of pain that makes you want to sympathize with him.

Hai Dard - Udit Narayan
This one is going to take me a while to like. A song of lament and when by Udit Narayan, you expect a twist in the movie when this comes about. It falls short when compared with the other songs in the album.

Ishq Ada hai (female) - Parul Mishra
Intoxicating. Parul's voice is so wholesome and round. Its like a very sharp knife slicing through butter. She's 20 years old but has an addictive sound quality about her voice. This is a little different from the male version in its organization and inducement of a classical touch. Her alaaps are brilliant. What pitching ! I hope ARR uses Parul more in songs to come.

Milo Wahan Wahan - Alka Yagnik, Jayachandran
Jayachandran is the link. The opening of this song is the BGM from Kannathil Muthamittal. These type of songs are Alka's forte in Bollywood. She comfortably carries the song, while I feel Jayachandran pronunciations sound a little enforced. But if you concentrate on his voice quality, that's not a problem at all. Is there a male chorus singing along with Jayachandran at the end ? It sounds as one voice actually.

Meherbaan (Instrumental)
I feel so happy just talking about this song. If ARR's voice is also to be slotted as instrumental, then this is rightly classified. Listen to the portion from 1.20 to 1.40 and the guitar transition from then onwards, his voice sounds nothing less than an instrument.
All of us have to be Meherbaan to ARR for giving us such a beautiful album. (Meherbaan means grateful)

Dream Girl

2008-05-08T22:11:00.000+05:30

She was a dreamer of sorts. Rather, she was a dreamer in all sorts of ways. From the reckless swinging of arms, the little hop in her walk, the constant ruffle in her hair, the unshaped eyebrows, the dragging of syllables while talking and all other things not primp and concise.
Today, was one of her days, where her mind was at its best to dream. She lazily crept out of bed and hopped between the papers, wires and other myriad objects strewn across the room. The sight of the place could give her mother the spooks and merely thinking about it, made her chuckle. She finally made her way to the journal lying open near the bean bag. She grabbed it with one hand and started her search for a pen that wrote amongst the million other nothings scattered around. Several futile attempts later, she found a crayon box with most colors missing. She pulled out one and plopped on the bean bag which gave a menacing whooshing sound. Pulling her knees close to her body, she propped the journal on her knees and began scrawling with the crayon across the unruled pages. A few lines later, she threw her journal aside and called a landline number in India from her calling card and spoke the words - "miss you maa" in to the voice mail before hanging up.
How she hated the time lag !!!

Dreams to Reality

2008-02-21T09:41:00.000+05:30

Its one of those sluggish days. You feel too lazy to even move your fingers.
The leaves on the branch outside your window sway dreamily in the air. The cuckoo on the branch sings in its dulcet tones. There's soulful music playing in the background as an accompaniment. The flautist slowly drones on a note and all you want to do is stare at the same spot on the wall and wish that the music would never end.
The percussionist takes over and jungle beats play in your senses. The cuckoo gets cacophonous. Realization slaps across the face and the slothful day after all turns out to be a scorching sweaty sunny morning. The mundane humdrum activities beckon and that's where your reverie ends and you are woken up from your long long long sleep !

Live Life- The ARR way

2008-02-10T17:27:00.000+05:30

Its one of those phases in life, where you wish words fail and since I'm still red from pinching myself all night and can't wait anymore to announce proudly that, I attended my first ever AR Rahman concert last night. The Live Life concert.
Along with Sandhya and Aravind's families(thankees guys), we reached 3 hours before the show was about to start. Despite the fussy security procedures, we somehow managed to secure great seats.

The stage was set the way it is always in a ARR concert - Sivamani in his cocoon of percussion instruments on the right, the compact chorus on the left, musicians scattered strategically and the man himself in the center with his keyboards. It looked ethereal to me. I used to imagine this vision in my mind every time I read his concert reviews and now I was looking at it with my own eyes, a few feet in front of me! At that moment, he descended the white steps wearing a black sherwani while Chitra crooned Jaage hain from Guru. It was a magical moment. I had goose flesh all over me.
Hariharan and Chinmayee went on with Kadhal Rojave from Roja. Somehow I felt, Hariji sounded very unlike himself initially. Chinmayee was a shocker absolutely. Neeti Mohan who was mistaken to be Shreya Ghoshal by most of us; came next with her Barso Rey and drenched us all with her smooth voice, great looks and moves too ! (She sang and belly danced for Mayya mayya later!!)
Naresh Iyer came to rock with his Paathshala and Roobaroo ! Benny Dayal has oodles of style. His singing of Marlyn Monroe with Ujjaiyinee was extremely cheesy and flirtatious. The voice chemistry between Chinmayee and Benny in Maduraiku Pogadhadee was almost tangible. I'm still confused if that really was Javed Ali who sang Jashn-e-bahaara ? Rahman's rendition of Khalbali, Athiradeekaaran, Dil se rey, Tere bina and Humma Humma made the crowd scream for more. We just couldn't get enough of his music, his voice and his versatility.
That's when he surprised everyone by combining Azeemushah Shahenshah, Rukmani rukmani and Veerapandi Kottaiyile into one song. Through the length of this song, the percussion beats were retained of that of Azeemushah's. Its brilliant how he uses his old songs in such new ways. I was bowled over completely.
Blaaze joined Naresh Iyer, Benny Dayal and Aslam for a thrilling rendition of Vaada vaada theme from Sivaji. Chinmayee and Hariji came back for Vaaji vaaji galore with his lilting improvisations and Sivamani(??) singing the dhidukita dhidukata part. Chitra returned a long while later with her Kannalane.
There was an unplugged slot in the show where Rahman sat with his keyboard and Chitra, Chinmayee and Hariharan sat opposite him for a one-to-one singing. After some technical adjustments, during which we were entertained by Hariji with a beautiful swar-alaap that metamorphosed into Tamizha tamizha followed by Uyire uyire with Chitra. Chitra came out with her solo version of Anjali anjali from Duet. And Chinmayee finished the one-to-one session with Sahana Saaral thoovudho. ( I wished she had sung something else, there was just too much of Sivaji - but no regrets !!)
I must mention, the chorus(Raihanah, Ishrathi, Tanvi Sayonara, Dr.Narayan) who did a commendable job with all the songs, the dancers who thematically moved to every song, the lights that danced according to the rhythm in most songs (esp kannalane) and the fireworks too.

The final showdown, the anticlimax, call it what you want,but this song would always prove to be the perfect close to a Rahman Concert - Vande Mataram, it is. All the singers came together on the stage and sung it with the man himself leading the song to a crescendo. I wished time to freeze, I wished to be lost in that moment forever, I was content :-)

Decide- right here right now !

2008-01-16T23:39:00.000+05:30

Is making decisions always this complicated ?
What would you choose if you had to pick one out of the many - Something that you love or something that comes easily ? As cryptic as it might sound, or as it was intended to be; picking one out of the many options is definitely not my forte. Given to my choice, I'd take a bit of everything. :D
But at some point, my whims take over and those decisions are some of the most worst I have ever made. I most certainly do not regret, for I have learnt the best out of them. However contradicting that might sound, I will always stand by my decisions and speak for them.
Of lately, I've become a strong believer in the quote that says -
"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen."
Nothing of the sort has happened, but if it does, you'll find a happier woman in the world, if not, there will be a post following that would claim the above as rubbish !

Rusty Humor

2007-12-31T07:45:00.000+05:30

Hello's to all !
I know I'm charged guilty of letting this place rot for long now. I really can't give any excuses to explain my stand, rather, I have too many of them to list ! None of them qualify as reasons to have stayed away from blogging. Anyways, I was going through some of my old posts and I realized, there was nothing but fiction all over here. I felt like some grandma narrating tales to her grandchildren after dinner by the fireside!! For the much missing vent, here it goes -
2007 has made me a more confused soul, kicked me out of my teens, made me an aunt on the same day, nudged me to do some impulsive things, put me through some dire straits and blah blahs ! This happened yesterday and left my mother totally baffled and a few friends in splits -

Woke up after an afternoon nap - in a semi-conscious state - walk to mom's room and find her reading some magazine !
Me: Maaa...
Ma: *looking at the mag still* "What ?"
Me: Maaaaaaaa.......
Ma: *looks at me now and says* "Whaaat?"
Me: Ammmmaaaaaaa.......
Ma: *snaps back - "Stop mooing like a cow and tell me WHAT, will you ?"
Me: I'm hungry
Ma: You're always hungry Ramya
Me: I'm hungry ma..
Ma: Seri, what do you want ?
Me: I'm hungry maaaa..... hunger hungry
Ma: Adhaan di, what do you want ?
Me: I want to cut my hair maa !!

Amma gives the - OMG-what-happened-to-this-woman kind of look and throws me out of the room and no food or haircut either !

Happy New Year people ! Have all the prosperity, happity, giggity stuff !

Ps: Oh yes, shoot away your resolutions in the comment box! My resolution is to make a resolution and stick by it !

License to kill

2007-12-03T14:01:00.000+05:30

Jaideep was the name. He was everything that you wanted him to be. He had a normal childhood, middle class parents, a caring mother, a supportive father, one younger brother, Montessori schooling, an under graduation degree of his choice. Life was like a bunch of roses without any thorns. But then due to the strange quirk of fate, things went drastically wrong.
His father passed away before his completion of his degree, thus forcing him to support his family and the education of his younger brother. His mother; emotionally distraught at the loss; stopped talking to anyone else. Mentally disturbed by all this, Jai was forced to plunge his feet into the dirty business. The job that required him to be ruthless and nonchalant. It demanded him to defy the fundamental ethics that were taught to him. His new profession asked of him to kill - plain brutal murder.

Soon after his life took a hairpin bend, Jai started to get a little nauseated with his work. Who wouldn't? When you had assumed living a life of eternal peace and suddenly, one fine morning you had rob someone of their lives. His first assignment was the house where lived a small family of 4. They reminded him of his own family. The task, however, was quietly completed. More assignments came and his modus operandi became noteworthy amongst his colleagues. He basked in the glory of appreciation. He started to develop an inclination towards his work. He felt if this was what he was destined to do.

Today, after 5 long years, Jaideep was given a status that he truly deserved. All the hard work had paid off at last - he was made the Head of the Pest Control Division.

Freshly Brewed Love

2007-10-30T21:37:00.000+05:30

Thin rays of golden yellow sunlight peeped in from between the tightly pulled blinds. Abstract patterns danced on the bed as the curtains swayed in the autumn breeze. He turned over in his slumber trying to evade the sunlight and groped for his wife with one hand. On encountering a bunch of linen instead of his newly-wed, he propped himself on one elbow and glanced around the room. The digital clock blinked 7.40 am on the bedside table. Finding no signs of her presence, he craned his neck to check for lights from the gap beneath the washroom door. It took him a whole minute to acknowledge the aroma of coffee drifting through the bedroom door and the low notes of instrumental music emanating from the living room.

She pulled aside the curtains and let the bright sunlight caress her face. Taking in the warmth for a while, she switched on the radio and plopped herself on the overstuffed sofa. The mug of freshly brewed coffee was placed next to her on the table. And beside the mug, a very ornate frame held the photo of two people grinning broadly at the camera. She picked up the frame and smiled to herself. It was hard for her to believe that she was now living with the man whom she had loved all her life! She pinched herself hard to confirm reality. Hearing a muffled chuckle, she looked up to see the man in the photograph leaning casually against the frame of the bedroom door, smiling at her.

He knew that she was happy. The radiant look on her face, deep dimples on her cheeks and the way her eyes sparkled conveyed more to him than words could express. His protective arms around her said millions about how much he cared for her. Taking her mehndi adorned hands in his and looking straight into her deep dark eyes, he said in the most honest of tones, what she had felt shy to utter all her life - "I love you".

Love at First Sight

2007-10-15T11:15:00.000+05:30

To Priyya, Mahesh and their 21 day old angel, Nanditha !

When he first saw her, he couldn't take his eyes off her. His voice was caught in his throat. He was sure, one blink, and his watery eyes wouldn't hold their joyful tears for long.
Her head was jutting out of a white cloth that tightly secured her arms and legs leaving her completely immobile. Bluish green veins were visible on her flushed rosy cheeks. He touched her soft hair that reached the nape of her neck already and gingerly brushed them away from her forehead with his fingers. Carefully, he traced his finger down her tender cheek. She responded reflexively by craning her neck towards the finger, enjoying the tingly warmth of her father's touch.
Merely due to the loss of words and the inability to utter something sensible at that moment, he said in a hushed baritone - "Hello". She merely blinked at him. He found himself staring at another pair of the same black doe shaped eyes which had attracted him to his wife.
He gently picked her up. With one hand firmly supporting her neck and head, he ensconced her meanwhile adjusting her wrap. After cradling her in his arms for a while, he carefully placed her on his shoulders and patted her back. She gave a burp and rubbed her cheeks on his freshly laundered white Giordano t shirt. A few paces and some out-of-tune humming later, his first born was asleep. Very unwillingly he placed her in the cradle and sat beside it looking at his daughter sleep for the first time. A few minutes later, her tiny grayish pink lips curved lopsidedly, which he assumed to be a grin. Her first dream, he thought. He wondered as to what could be amusing her so much on her very first night in the world. He whispered -"I'm going to make every dream of yours come true, my love."
"So, will you change your opinion at least now?" asked his wife, stirring from her semi-conscious state.
He grinned sheepishly and held the hand of his first love who had brought about this little angel into their lives and changed both their lives forever.
"If you had to give me such an example to prove that Love at first sight does happen, then, I bow, you win !"

Unadulterated Love

2007-09-02T23:34:00.000+05:30

It was just another day in June. But the heat was not showing any signs of abatement. Dressed casually in a comfortable t shirt and a pair of jeans that badly needed washing, a pair of running shoes that had seen better days and a completely worn out Ferrari cap, Nimesh looked nothing more pompous than the boy next door.

The traffic was not improving things either. He braked, accelerated, braked again, changed lanes only to find the one he left to be less congested. After driving at snail's pace for what seemed like eons, the signal came. He adjusted the cap on his head as if pulling it further down his forehead would shield him from the blazing sun. Popping his knuckles, he gave a furtive glance at the rear view mirror.

Niranjana was a girl who didn't know much about the outside world. Her world comprised only of Nimesh and sitting on the pillion behind him today, made her feel as if there was nothing more she could want from life. She just wished, he would keep going and the ride never stop. She didn't care about the sun that was tanning her fair unblemished skin. She didn't care about the traffic, the end of which would in result her early separation from him. He was her guardian angel and she wanted him to be around forever.

The signal blinked to green, and Nimesh sped towards their destination for the day. Exactly 3 minutes later, he parked his bike in front of the building and she gingerly disembarked from the pillion. With tears brimming in her eyes, he half-carried her till the gate and saw his baby sister walk in to her first primary school. Now he had to go and hunt for a present to give her later in the evening when his arm would be wound with the sacred thread of Rakhi. He was a proud brother !

Bookmarked

2007-08-12T04:34:00.000+05:30

Alright, I really couldn't bring myself to face my cobwebbed blog. So I'm using the handy vacuum cleaner a.k.a tag to propel myself to dust it. Tagged eons back by Bumblee, I couldn't have been happier to return. I'm back for good !

1. Books that Changed Your Life
The textbooks my college provided in my first year. Made me realize that nothing more in the world could be more absurd and move on.
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari tried to awaken me, but in vain !

2.A Book that I have read more than once
Definitely Enid Blyton, the Sweet Valleys, The Potter Series, The Da Vinci Code, Abridged version of Shakespeare's masterpieces and The Library of World Poetry.

3. A Book You'd Take onto a Desert Island
Undoubtedly Aesop's Fables.
This is the only book that keeps reminding me that innocence in the world is still nascent and unwilling to grow up.

4. Books That Made You Laugh
The Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy by Douglas Adams ! Proof that humor can be teamed with sci-fi.
And no second thoughts about Dilbert !!!

5. Books That Made You Cry
Potter 5 & 6 for Sirius & DD respectively.
Remember some wet pillows for mush books ! ;)

6.A Book You Wish Had Been Written
Errrmm ? I've read only stuff that have been published ! But I second the notion about Anbe Sivam on print !

7. Books You Wish Had Never Been Written
I wish I'd never started reading Lord of the Rings, for I have never crossed page 64 !
But it would do no justice, for every book is creative in its own right. (Textbooks excluded)

8. Books You're Currently Reading
a) Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho
b) The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy

9. Books You've Been Meaning To Read
a)Life of Pi
b) Marley & Me
Bless me Hamakka!!!!! :D
c) High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

Bookmarking in turn :
Pree, Sujith, Priya and Bhargavi

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows

2007-07-24T00:55:00.000+05:30

I would probably need one of Rita Skeeter's Quick-Quotes Quill to belt out some juicy 1500 word review of the book. But then, it would make no difference to you, because the true magic of the book lies within the reader, who have made their way patiently and stuck around Harry & his friends till the end.
J.K Rowling couldn't have given us a better ending to the series. Deathly Hallows surpasses all its 6 predecessors with its perfect and nearly-flawless narration. And that's saying the least about it. The plot is so incredibly taut minus all the teenage romances, Christmas chatter, Quidditch frenzy and Hogwarts prowling. For all the people who were wasting their time finding loopholes left in the previous books that might suggest a possible ending with their own theories, Hallows gives them all a whack with a huge club on the head. The omnipresent state of fear is almost palpable throughout the book. Fast junglish beats drum through your head as the author makes you live the sinister trail that Harry Ron & Hermione trod upon in search of the Horcruxes in order to put an end to the mortal peril that the wizarding world is facing in the hands of Voldemort.
The insecurities of a teenager, their courage, the loyalty,their struggle, the desperateness, their bonding, the thirst for love seeping in their veins and overcoming their fears of the ultimate. All these bring a tear to one's eye and it does shock to know a few blatant truths. For however long you read the book, the time doesn't matter, for every time you flip the pages, you are transported to the magical lands that Rowling has so realistically woven with simple yet powerful words.
The end doesn't always signify the finality of things. The magic of the Harry Potter books won't cease with the Deathly Hallows; for they'll always remain immortal in our hearts !
Psst : And all of you who dismissed the Potter books for a bunch of magical stories with happy fluffy bunnies to be read as bedtime stories to babies, JKR is merciless in sparing you all.

Joanne Kathleen Rowling, I bow to thee !

Changing times

2007-07-15T23:52:00.000+05:30

Past tense - "So much to do;so less time"
Present tense - "Nothing to do;so much time to spend"

I feel like I'm living a life of extremes. Maybe I'm just not striking the balance well ? Anyways, just to keep myself a little occupied and beat boredom, I created this and it is proving to be something more than a time pass. Being a music crazy person especially Bollywood music justifies song & lyrics that happened like a reality in disguise.
When I posted the translation of Lukka Chupi as a dedication to someone, sons living abroad, sent the post to their mothers back home as a sign of their unexpressed shy love. I had such mothers commenting how this had rekindled the love even while living in 2 different worlds. I was touched ! Period.
Tere bina from Guru was translated for the pure joy the song gave me; as it happens to rank high amongst my favourites. But honestly with so many websites devoted to lyrics, I didn't expect it to be noticed at all.
I've transferred both the posts mentioned here along with a few other songs.
Do continue to give your unparalleled support, suggestions,linkbacks & requests to this second baby of mine too!
Folks of the blogsville, I give you Songs & Lyrics !
*Applause*

Confessions

2007-07-03T09:05:00.000+05:30

When I joined college 2 years back, I loathed the place more than anyone could ever imagine. The moment I sat in my class and looked around at all the dejected faces, I asked myself- What the heck am I doing here? Despite so many people being nice to me, I had my mind closed and didn't even make an attempt to adapt myself to the place. I was simply refusing to change and accustom myself to a new environment. I started falling into the bottomless pit of self-pity and started believing that it was fate that brought me here by mistake and I'd have to serve in this penitentiary for the next 4 years.
Ironically I kept chanting "Change is good" at the same time.
The truth struck me hard in the face soon and when I really opened my eyes to face reality, things didn't seem as bad as I had "seen". Not that I'm in love with the place overnight, but then I'm not really unhappy either. It definitely is all in the attic that you carry on your shoulders.
If happiness is what you want to see, that's what you will see.
I'm glad I learnt it now at least. Better late than never !
Maybe, somewhere down memory lane, I might actually miss college, its people, the sad white buildings, the food, the long bus rides.....
I can't believe that I actually said it ! :O

The Burning Stomach

2007-06-27T10:30:00.001+05:30

Update : I saw it ! I saw it ! I was armed with whistles too! At one point of time, I was whistling so much that I had to stop it to hear the punch dialogs. I enjoyed the movie and yes thalaivar rocks ! :D

The current buzzword in Chennai is Sivaji ! Why Chennai?, the hype has created waves all over the world and even on blogsville. Every third blog carries a review of Sivaji ! Where ever you go people are all praises about the movie and how "Cool" thalaivar looks or how sexy Shriya's clothes are or how brilliant the music by ARR is or how fab Thotta Tharani's sets look & of course Shankar, the skipper of the movie. Now that's a bonanza combination !

Despite exorbitant ticket rates, messy pumpkin strewn floors , showering flowers and milk dripping hoardings, nothing is holding the people all over the world to watch The boss in action.
Even if the distributors decided to screen "Sorgam" during the interval, people might not walk out of the cinema hall !! Sivaji will stand out amongst all Baasha's & Padayappa's just because of the way in which Shankar has portrayed thalaivar ! The charismatic screen presence of Rajinikanth overshadows the illogical story line & a few other weak technicalities that most reviews have mentioned about! As long as the Super Star is on screen with his punch dialogs and whip sounding stunts, the crowd would remain on the edge of their seats !

Alright, I'll stop fibbing now, I haven't watched the movie because I can't whistle and yes yes I can't get the tickets either ! Maybe next time I must use my drama skills in the ticket queue ! And oh! remind me to strangle the guy who was selling the tickets at a grand each ! ! !

Mixed Feelings

2007-06-04T19:34:00.000+05:30

Arjun looked out of the little window on his left. He could see only clouds. He shifted restlessly in his seat and reclined back as he closed his eyes. He was returning home after almost 3 years and was looking forward to meet all his loved ones. He was no homesick person, but the 3 year gap had left him feeling totally disconnected with everyone back home. He thought of his mother and her lip-smacking rasam, the early morning jogging with his dad, the back-slapping moments with his mates, the aimless bike rides, the night-outs at the beach... He looked out again and saw the familiar blue of the Marina. A smile crossed his face. It was about time. The slim air hostesses prepared the cabin crew for landing. The aircraft dropped a few feet and met heavy turbulence. They circled for a few minutes until the plane got clearance for landing. Those minutes seemed longer than the 3 years. As the flight touched ground and sped along the runway, Arjun already had his seat belt off and was urging to grab his backpack and scoot out. He was met with a huge queue for immigration. He kept counting heads and when his turn came, he was too glad to thrust out his passport to the immigration officer. Baggage claiming tested his patience more than anything else. Every third suitcase seemed like his and when he finally spotted his, the rickety conveyor belt seemed to take ages to transport it to him. He couldn't hold his feet once he had his luggage on the trolley. He searched the sea of faces until his eyes settled on his parents standing amidst the crowd. When he made his way out and reached where they were standing, his father pulled him into a rib cracking hug. And suddenly he felt all the years melting into nothingness. This is where he belonged. He was home at last !

Author's Note : I'm back home and the heat in Chennai seems to be showing no signs of abatement !

As the night dawned

2007-05-28T14:34:00.003+05:30

..anorexic girls with petite waists dressed in skimpy black outfits haphazardly swayed to the booming meaningless music. Most of the girls on the floor with their heavy make-up and straightened hair ended up looking like clones. The vivacious lights danced on the women, trying to cover them up. Mindless chatter hummed in the background where gossip tossed with seasoned back biting provided enough entertainment in the smoky atmosphere. Jealousy was almost tangible. While the women accused each other of sleeping her way through, the macho sex with their gelled hair would be huddled together boisterously betting against each other about their pick-ups for the night, exchanging back slaps or fiddling a swanky new gadget. Boys & their toys !!! Some secluded themselves to the overly stuffed cushions with partners attached to their lips. Talk about being private in public !
The plates lay piled in a corner. Besides, when did food ever have a higher priority while alcohol was around? Guys to their beers and weirdly named Vodkas, while the ladies twiddled umbrellas in cocktails and sipped their Cokes.
Plastic smiles, customary kisses, heartless hugs, obligatory socializing. At the end of day or rather the beginning of the day, none would leave with whom they arrived and all they are left over with is a hangover and a vague recollection of hallucinating memories.

Psst: The author isn't trying to sound like a conservative critic, for she isn't one. This post is merely a narration. Do drink to her glory for this is her 150th post ! Cheers ! :D

Orchard

2007-05-20T02:40:00.000+05:30

I had heard a lot about Orchard Road here. All I knew before I visited the place was that, Orchard was Mecca for Shopaholics in Singapore. How could I miss the place then ? The place is the central entertainment and luxury shopping belt in Singapore. Lined and bathed beautifully in a sea of colors, Orchard definitely is a delight to the ones with a hefty wallet. Coz, one look at the malls, and I realized that the place is ideal only for window shopping and some power walking. Most of the malls here carry the concept of "Everything under one roof". Right from Cosmetics, Crystals, China, Clothing and even a shop for condoms!! - Orchard has it all.
The malls that line this road boast of the top notch international designer labels like Armani, DKNY, Dior, Gucci, Prada, D&G, Yves Saint Laurent and many more. I was really tempted to buy this Gucci bag that looked really sleek and suave, but the moment I saw the price tag and had calculated the equivalent in Indian Rupees, I was confident that if it had been my mother, she'd have had a mini cardiac arrest on seeing it. Apart from all this, there are several souvenir stalls, food courts, juice bars and many performing artists outside the malls who keep up the spirits of the tired shoppers. This one particular college's percussion band had most shoppers halt and tap their feet to their peppy rhythms. There are a few spas where you can pamper yourself and a few other major hotels too but, ultimately, its difficult to find anything strenuous to do at Orchard than shop, shop and shop till you drop !
Oh lord! My blog is turning into a Singapore Tourism Board advertisement !!!

Home away from home

2007-05-11T23:53:00.000+05:30

I'm definitely not a home sick person. I love to be away from home, explore new places, meet new people, socialize, learn about new cultures (rather than reading about them), take lots of pictures, collect souvenirs, and most importantly shop. This outdoor nature of mine brought me to Singapore this vacation.I'm sure the one month which I am going to be spending here is a little too much to explore this small Island, but then what means more to me on this trip is, to spend some quality time with my aunt, uncle and cute little 2 year old cousin.
What I noticed instantly about Singapore is that people prefer to use the public transport like the rail or the buses, both of which connect every nook of the city and is pretty much convenient & affordable too. All this doesn't seem to hamper the number of sleek and cheezy private cars plying on the road. Despite all this, the place is least polluted. Another thing am astonished about is that, how these small eyed, straight-haired people eat so much and still manage to stay in shape. To this question I found the answer when I saw most of them jogging and working out vigorously in the early hours of the day. The last and most obvious problem would be food if you happen to be a vegetarian. The city has several food courts and eat outs, but then sea foods dominate the platter. Otherwise, Singapore is a very beautiful and clean place to live in. But then, at some point of time, life gets way to mechanical.

More later, till then, be good and spread the cheer !

Back back back!

2007-05-02T22:05:00.000+05:30

After quoting the Blogger's Exam Rule in almost every post, I stayed away from blogging during my exams and now I figured out that things would have been pretty much the same otherwise too ! Well, this year has instilled a lot of changes in me. Change is good and actually fun !
If you ask me what color I like the most, and pat the reply would come- Black ! But now, I've found new fantasy in the color green! I actually went out to buy some clothes, and ironically, this time to my mother's surprise I didn't pick any black or stuff remotely close to black either. And no prizes for guessing it, all the gear happened to be green !! Oooohh, my template is green too ! ;) (But not for long) I'm starting to see the world through green tinted glasses !!
Fantasy number 2- Old Hindi songs. I dug up my dad's Rafi, Asha, Lata, Kishore Kumar, Mukesh, Manna Dey collection and what a stress-buster it has been. Its sheer joy to listen to music with great vocal quality and by using basic instruments like the tabla, sitar and dholak, the virgin nature of music was left to rest in peace. The traditional patronage is almost dying out now despite fatal attempts to revive it with the remix technology.
Fantasy number 3- I've been scribbling using the anti-technology writing device- the lovely pencil. I've love to write lyrics of my favorite songs.I'm notorious for pressing down the tip of my pencil so hard that you can see the impression on the next 3 pages or more. Its absolutely bliss to scribble away on a plain white page. Drag in an arrow from the middle of a line to the last of another, no formatting, no spacing, no font trouble, do caps or go cursive, use shorthand ! And do it the way you like it, the elementary, primitive way!

Stop !

2007-04-05T12:57:00.000+05:30

Before you started wondering if you landed up elsewhere, Stop !
I got too bored with that sombre and garish white board template so I decided to go green for the summer !

Its going to take a while before you see an update here. Moreover I suppose more than half the bloggers on my list are busy with deadlines, record work, pending assignments and a lot more valid excuses. And with the sun beating down on this side of the world, lethargy creeps in and upturns all the well scheduled plans.

"Sip that coconut water,
Bite into the succulent water melon,
Don those sunglasses and go generous on the sunscreen
Wrap a bandanna, eat some ice-cream !
Wear some bright and colorful clothes,
Spread the cheer and do miss me too!"

Musical Torments

2007-04-02T19:39:00.000+05:30

Some of the tortures my mother put me through in the tender years of my life were dance and music classes. But it was music that I loathed learning the most.
My folks took me to this carnatic singer during one of my visits to Madras; from whom it was considered most auspicious and fortunate to start a musical lesson. And so began my encounters with the 7 swaras at a tender age of 3 ! There I sat in my tiny frock, cross-legged before this man who seemed hippy-like compared to my 2.5 feet height ! Unshaven, shoulder length oil dripping hair, a red beetle nut coated tongue and wearing a filthy white shirt, he resembled a gardener more than a guru. Before I could make more assessments regarding his appearance, he made a huge slap to his thigh and crooned "Saaa, paaa, sollu paakalam"
And the smart-ass that I was,asked, pointing to his thigh - "Apdi adikanuma ?" (Well come on at 3, I was ignore of the existance of the concept of taalam!) He let out a guffaw and said - "Aama kozhandai" ! I looked back at my mother who gave me a Do-what-he-asks-you-to look. And so I slapped his thigh with my little fingers and said saa paa in my pinju kural. :D Once I heard a huge intake of breath from behind me, I realized that the slapping is going to interchange once we get home. Slowly I turned waiting for the repercussion of my act of bravery and gratefully I escaped with a smile ! Thanks to my cute-appavi looks !
Every class from then onwards, I was taken dutifully by my mother coaxed and cajoled in the false hope that, it would be my last class. But then God knows, what they saw (heard) in me, the last class never came and before I realized I had actually begun to like the routine and was looking forward to them.
Today, I'm so grateful to those days, for instilling such a deeply rooted love for music.

Eyes say it all

2007-03-29T15:31:00.000+05:30

"Every time you look at me, a part of me dies,
I know there's something else, I can see it in your eyes."
As for this post, the above lines say it all ! Some people in the world try to hide their inner feelings in their heart, but then, they forget that their eyes talk a lot more than they actually do.
Brown, Green, Hazel, Blue, Amber. Dark or light be it, eyes definitely reflect the true spirit of the inner soul. Lighting up with a sparkle on an affectionate touch, wrinkling at the corners with grace, coyly winking at a cute face, glaring with hatred, pelting a cold stare, brimming with tears or just blinking away every day ! The first of each emotion churning out of you is first seen in the eyes. You could have a control on your tongue, but you can never stop an eye from talking. If you have a dream in your heart, it most certainly shows in your eyes. Why? Even the most complex of all emotions - Love is associated with the eyes - "Love at first sight" ! We've never heard of a love at first smell !!
In an eye, you the see the beauty of a simple person, the majesty, the sophistication, the ruthlessness and the power !
As for me, I like dark, mysterious yet playful eyes. Thick lashes and dark curvy eyebrows would be a bonus! Absolutely smoky and sweltering !
No matter how many words you have, the eyes say it all !

Never Say No

2007-03-26T20:15:00.000+05:30

Are you someone who initializes a conversation ? Are you someone who takes an initiative and leads a bandwagon ? Are you someone who never (infrequently) answers in the negative ? If you answered the previous questions in affirmative, then congratulations- you're the never-say-no attitude possessor ! Kudos to you !
Well, you might think what big deal does it make really ? But then, these are the little insignificant things in life that can turn you into a significant person for someone else. Of course, we all don't have to be Mother Teresa's !
How would you feel if a person kept answering - "No", "I don't know" or began every retort contradicting your view ? A normal human definitely wouldn't feel like pursuing the conversation further, would they ?

Flip side : The pessimist could always return with an argument stating his right to talk whatever he wishes to and meanwhile expressing his dislike towards you. Point taken, but then if there were no such differences of opinions, there would be no poles, no opposites, no good, no bad ! You wouldn't have lost anything, but life is counted with what you gain, and I consider people as the biggest assets one could possess.
In case you (irrespective of where you are classified) understood, you would have done something to better yourself. If you just didn't give a damn about this post, feel free to click that little red X on the top right, well if you have something to add/contradict, the comment box is all yours!

Tag thy blogger

2007-03-24T13:14:00.000+05:30

In the tag initiated by RS, I am required to - "Randomly select a blogger and describe about his/her blog in general and write a review on a particular post of him/her that impressed u a lot. The rules say that you aren't permitted to select the blogger who gave this tag to u."

Randomly selecting Sujith, one of the first to read my blog and comment. Sunny Days later christened I Ching, is definitely not a frequently updated / widely read blog, but then I really like the subtle and rhetoric use of words there. He's one person who picks out the unknown in the known and striking a chord with the opposites or grabbing things that people conveniently ignore has been his forte. His disagreements in the comment box always keep me at wit's end to think of a better retort. I still remember one of my first comments on his post describing some chronicles in his college, and till date I've always found I Ching that way- "Entertaining!" His post on blog-hopping and of course Goo have been one of my favorites. Variations of posts in different genres ranging from music to loud musings through which he keeps reinventing himself. The few fiction that he posts are some rare pieces. It totally changes one's idea that something good needn't be over-done. Very simple and straight. No bombastic phrases, but I accept he throws some really nice jargons.
And quoting him from one of his posts, I find his blog as a guy's orgasm of emotions. I wish you update more often !

And now comes the part I love, I tag the videshi's - Kay Kay, S0ul & Priya

For all those people who had concluded that I shall be posting only tags from now on, a proper post would follow soon !

College Knowledge

2007-03-13T21:32:00.000+05:30

Bhargavi takes revenge by asking me to list out 10 things I hate about my college !

1) I've never seen the sunrise ever in my life. Commuting by the college bus has made me rise before the sun of lately!
2) The bus rides every morning and evening make me think if I would return home in one piece or return ever at all !
3) The mess food, the unclean plates and glasses have infestations that could give a creative mind lots of food for thought. And ya, we have no canteen !!
4) The barren campus, with absolutely no greenery !! Even the fauna is scared to flourish there !
5) The staff, whose vocabulary comprises only of "what" "y" "right" and "test on tomorrow" !
6) The students, who think they have the biggest attitudes in the world, but are nothing less than a bunch of snobbish dud-heads who steal stationary and money even after paying heavy donations to get a seat!
7) The rules, that deny basic human rights itself !
8) The sudden appearances of a bunch of maniacs who simply slip their hands into your bag to check for mobile phones and other censored property amongst the many forbidden within the campus!

I don't really need any more reasons to hate my college ! I've gotten used to the monotonous & moribund schedule for the last 2 years, another 2 will not make much of a difference to me ! :D

I tag Kausik , VBK & Ramanujam !

Tag-o-mania

2007-03-04T10:27:00.000+05:30

After having recycled old post, I was totally left clueless as to what to post next, and that's when this tag comes to my rescue ! Small-wall thalaivare, thankoo ! :D

1. One thing I'm very much afraid of
Well, its not nice to publicly admit your fears, especially me, coz people are just waiting for an opportunity to pull my leg ! I don't know what it is with girls and reptiles, but yes I am scared of lizards. I just can't bear the company of being in a room with a lizard ! :D

2. Two incidents I can never forget in my life
Well if I count it as embarrassing moments, there are countless, but then if I take it as happy moments, they add up to more in number than the embarrassing ones.

3. Three books I'd love reading again and again
a) I swear by Linda Goodman
b) The Library of World Poetry
c) This list would be endless.

4) Four women who are most beautiful
Well, I believe that any woman can be beautiful if she considers herself to be so. And I have this whole idea that all models look alike with make-up ! :D

5) Five of my favorite food items
My mum and grandmum are the world's best cooks !
Anything vegetarian and spicy/tangy would qualify as a favorite cuisine ! I'm an ice-tea freak !

6) Six words you use very often
a) Enna da/di
b) Oh !
c) Bledddy ! :D
d) Damn !
e) *Beep*
f) *long beeeeeeeeeep* :D :D

7) Seven things I like about myself
The person who commented first on this post seems to know so much more than I ever knew about myself !!!!

8) Eight film personalities who are your all-time favorites
a) A.R.Rahman
b) Mani Ratnam
c) John Stamos ("Have Mercy") :D
d) Revathy
e) Kamal Hassan
f) The Big B
g) Matt LeBlanc ("How 'u doin ?") :D
i) Madhuri Dixit

9) Nine movies you don't mind watching again n again
Any Crazy-Kamal combination movies
Everything by Mani Ratnam (better when coupled with ARR)

10) Ten songs you would listen to everyday
This is real hard considering the fact that my daily play list constitutes of more than 50-70 songs.
Anything sung by ARR - Lukka Chuppi, Tere Bina

I tag Hamsini, Bhargavi, Sandhya ("alright girls, its payback time, except Bhargavi ofc! )

Oh, btw, search for "Tere Bina Lyrics" on Google and guess what tops the charts ! :D

Woes of a woman

2007-02-28T22:37:00.001+05:30

Gayathri woke up with a heavy head at 7.30 am overshooting her normal quota of sleep by over an hour. She cursed the alarm that didn't go off and breezed through her morning rituals. The moment she was about to slam the door, she realized that she had left the keys inside. Damn ! She dropped the apple she was about to eat on her way and let it skid its way down the stairs. That's when her mobile decided to ring its fancy ringtone. She ignored the call, grabbed the keys and finally dragged her way out of the tiny one bedroom apartment. She jabbed her finger at the button several times to summon the lift, but the lift didn't seem to respond at all. A few seconds later she noticed the minuscule "Out of Order" sign and scooted her way down the steps. She found the apple downstairs and kicked it with all her might, as if that would alleviate her of her anger. That's when the watchman stopped her and asked her to pay the maintainance bill right away. After several negotiations and explanations Gayathri obliged unwillingly, scraping the last of her hard-earned money meanwhile holding back enough change to commute. Didn't anyone have sympathy these days? After bargaining with several passing auto's she summoned an empty one that agreed to her budget. She was thankful that the auto driver was considerate enough of not to strike a conversation and she spent those few minutes clearing her head and bracing herself for yet another strenuous day at work.

Gayathri was skeptical about joining the rat race. But the voluptuous pay lured her into it. At her workplace, she stared into the eerie glow of the monitor trying to figure out what those bunch of lines implied. At lunch,she ate a solitary meal consisting of a bland salad from the canteen and continued with her programming.

Suddenly at around 7 in the evening a wave of nausea swept over her. She felt bovine and decided to call it a day and she somehow found herself walking past the gate and across the pavement. It was the breeze that stirred the wistful emotion within her. Slowly tears started rolling down her cheeks, the mascara trailing a black path on her rosy cheeks. She felt sick. She looked heavenwards and screamed - "Why? Why me? Why?"
The heavens decided to take pity and cry along with her. A lightning streaked across the sky, momentarily lighting her teary face. She let the raindrops wash her face; the tears along with the raindrops softly caressing her tear stained face. Gayathri reached home totally drenched with her wet blue cotton salwar clinging to her 7 month swollen abdomen. She fumbled her way to the mantel and looked at the photograph surrounded by a withered garland. She scooped up the photograph of her husband and clung to it like a child as she wept.

P.S : A slightly tweaked version of the one I posted exactly an year back ! Your comments go down in the process.

The Terminal

2007-02-18T21:00:00.000+05:30

The time had arrived. She was there too among the huge gathering of people. The friends surrounding him were more in number than his family for he was a popular & lovable person amongst them. But for her, he meant something more than that. Everybody knew who she was, but not as much as he did. They had been together only for a month, but still it seemed as if they had spent their entire life together. But all that was insignificant now. What was more important was that, he was leaving her, why only her, he was leaving a whole bunch of his loved ones.
There were tears welling up in her eyes, but then he didn't want to see tears, not now. Mustering up the last of the resolute courage that was left within her, she put up a good battle against her own self. But then his eyes kept going back to her. She simply wanted to hug him tight and say that she would always be there for him. No! She couldn't do that. She got her answer from him soon. A smile and a bat of the eyelid, that said things more than words could have explained. That was all that he could manage and that was all she needed.
The moment had passed, the time had finally arrived........ the electronic voice on the loudspeaker cried out>>>
"All the passengers to the flight ***** are requested to proceed to the security check"
Final handshakes, hi-fives, pats on the back, hugs and soppy teary kisses and a final look at his sweetheart, he pushed his trolley and moved towards his new destination. A place totally new to him, a place void of his family, friends and of course his lovely sweetheart. Last minute handshakes were exchanged and she kept looking till he reached the point of no visibility.
Some wise soul once said - Time, tide and International flights wait for none. How true !

Are you an Evangelist ?

2007-02-13T20:10:00.000+05:30

When someone asked me if I was an evangelist, my pathetic vocabulary skills proudly returned a null. I stared back with a quizzical look on my face. An evangelist is a person who passionately pursues what he likes the most, or simply a person who spreads joy.
There I stood, with the world spinning around me, introspecting whether my presence made any significant changes or was I just another girl who meant nothing to the ones around her ? I've always believed and sworn to the fact that the world will show you its beautiful backside if you are the snobbish, moody, every-sighing soul.
Are you the types who lead a mundane, moribund, mechanical life doing things that you wished you could change/alter ? Do you go to your workplace/college/school every morning wondering -"Why the hell am I here?" But then have you ever thought of it this way ? People who see that ugly constipated contorted look on your face every morning, tend to lose their little spark of enthusiasm that they had preciously obtained after an introspection like mine? ;) Negative aura spreads quickly, but positive thoughts are more infectious.
Go back to that point of time in your life when we wanted to become astronauts, pilots, soldiers, superheroes, painters and even poets!! Where did all that enthusiasm go ? Are we afraid of people who snicker at our dreams ? Disappointments and fear flourish in our heart & minds.
Yes, I am an evangelist! Of course I do have my mood-swings, hard days and downfalls, but then who doesn't?
Go enroll for those salsa classes, eat those extra pieces of chocolate, find time to talk, enjoy the sunshine, listen to some soul-enriching music, read a good word, feel good about yourself!
And please burn your to-do lists. :D
Am I more special than you ? Yes, because I've found my cause !

Its time !

2007-02-09T20:10:00.000+05:30

Rekha sat in front of the huge mirror bordered with bright 100 watt bulbs and gazed back at her reflection. Time had passed and she never realized how it swept away all that she possessed. Today was the day that would give her a new start, a new push, a new beginning... a new life. She looked at her kajal lined eyes, they seemed to blink all her dreams and aspirations, but the tears dissolved them all away. She looked at her cherubic cheeks which used to blush on their own triggered merely by a smile. Ah! That curvy smile of hers, the one that would brighten everyone's day, now appeared firmly pursed together.
She asked herself - "Why do I have to do this? I have a life of my own, which is very dear to me. Why should I go out there and bury all my hopes to the grave?"
That's when the door opened and someone said - "Rekha, its time. Come"

Dressed in a maroon silk saree and laden with jewels that weighed more than her, Rekha walked out of the bride's room to the chamber where her wedding with the man twice her age was to take place. She looked at the expression on her brother's face and stopped in front of him. Wrinkling her eyebrows together, she said- "Why me ?" With a comforting glance and the reassuring squeeze of the palm, Ravi walked his 19 year old sister to the end of the life she'd dreamt of.

I have

2007-01-25T23:10:00.000+05:30

I have,

Battles to brave,
Hurdles to cross,
Challenges to face,
Distances to merge,
Promises to keep,
Goals to achieve,
Wishes to fulfill,
Moments to cherish,

I have a life to live !

See to feel

2007-01-15T11:40:00.000+05:30

She gently held the cup of strong coffee with her fingers and sat on the chair beside the window and looked out. A gentle zephyr blew the hair out of fair and she rattled a little feeling the chillness creep down her body. She drew her knees close to her body in response and took a sip of the bitter coffee enjoying its ubiquitous aroma.
She saw kids playing with a stray pup that tried to yelp and wriggle out of the plump boy's fingers, but he seemed to be having a tight grip. She empathized with the pup. She looked beyond, an old couple were holding hands and trying to cross the road. She saw love in their grasp. A smile escaped her lips and a sip of the coffee spread warmth into her system. She gazed leftwards and spotted the vegetable vendor pushing his cart. She saw desperation in his eyes to sell the last of his tomatoes, potatoes, cabbages and capsicums. She saw watchmen with scarves and monkey caps around their heads strutting about the apartments chasing the annoying salesmen away from the gates. Another sip burnt her insides. She saw young lads on bicycles being weighed down by the weight of their backpacks. The sweat of perseverance and tiredness. The cup was empty atlast.
She imagined the vehicles honk and roll past, the birds chirp, the kids screaming in delight, the vegetable vendor's voice, the rhythmic sound of the rustic cycle chains, the quarrel between the watchman and the sales rep and a lot more of the unheard voices in the moribund city life.
Life is so different when you have to imagine the sounds of life and don't possess the hearing perception.

Random Ramblings 3

2007-01-09T20:25:00.001+05:30

2006 doesn't really seem to get off my back. I'm still writing '06 in the date column everywhere and am consulting the 2006 calendar still. Seems like the *** Gold Palace forgot to send us a new one this year. Getting back to college after a month has created some ripples in the system, the first being waking up before sunrise ! Its pretty hard to accept the change when you've been nocturnal since your birth.
Blogging took a backseat too this year. Since the beginning of the new year, I've posted just once that too a tag which I took up out of compulsion or call it desperation to post something ! I'm talking as if its September 2007 already !
Confusions.Commotions.Contradictions.Emotions.Evaluations.Explanations.Assumptions.Realizations and so much more shuns out all the abilities and possibilities to think clearly. It definitely is a tough call to make when the heart and the mind start working independently on different lines and refuse to work in coordination.
Distress always follows happiness, but there is always a silver lining in the clouds. Reality sure does bite. Somethings are so hard to accept. Time they say brings about change for the better. Hopes hopes and more hopes are only what I am holding on to, however false and mundane they may seem.

P.s : If this post seems like utter crap to you, please put up with it like the darlings that you have been as always. The damsel is in distress.

Double Attack

2007-01-05T19:10:00.000+05:30

I've been given this tag by WA who doesn't seem to have spared anyone on her blogroll and also by Sandhya who seems to have no other chance but to tag the same ppl all over again !
The tag requires me to disclose 5 things about myself that people don't know. But don't expect me to list down 10 coz I got tagged twice coz listing down 5 itself is going to make this tedious and also coz most of you know me too well but also coz I've got to finish the tag and also coz I've got to put an end to this line which by the way is getting too long :D

1) I jumped onto this tag, coz I love to talk about myself. I'm no narcissist but still, who wouldn't want to talk about themselves ? Oh come on, stop pretending to be all modest, each one of us would have a zillion things to tell about ourselves. It only matters whom you want to broadcast all that to.

2) I've learnt classical music and dance professionally for 8 and 4 years respectively.

3) I'm majorly sentimental & sympathetic over little things.I might sound passive, but then it doesn't take me long to form a puddle around myself.

4) I don't really like chocolates and ice-creams. Not that I hate them, nor am I particularly crazy about them. (OK, eyebrows down and pupils back into your sockets please! )

5) I've been blogging for 2 years and not 1.7 years as most of you think. I run another (dormant) anonymous blog whose url I obviously do not intend to disclose. Questions pertaining to this will be blatantly ignored.

And the nice soul that I possess asks me not to tag anyone and leave it to the reader's discretion whether to take this up or not !

Saying it yet again

2007-01-01T22:50:00.000+05:30

I'm sure all of you have read everyone posting on how eventful/uneventful 2006 has been for them, and it would be unfair on my part if I don't come up with my ramblings.

2006 saw most of my cousins getting hooked. It was a year I looked forward to the most when it began. Filled completely with activities as it started; the glitter gradually started to fade as the months flipped bringing the series of jolts. The ride wasn't very smooth and it ended with zilch. During the fair end, there was so much gloom that I saw a totally new side to myself. I'm so glad to turn 19 in 2006 ! :D
I definitely have to mention about the people I met and made friends with in '06. These people were one of the few best things that happened to me last year and their existence has definitely changed my perspective of life completely. So if you have known me personally only since '06, give yourselves a pat on the back. I am so glad to know you all.
Well, I've decided to include a few changes here and there, which all of you might find evident from the posts that follow later.

I wish all of you have a year filled with serenity and joy !

P.s Yes, the bold statements continue to thrash you.

Of treats and meets

2006-12-22T19:50:00.000+05:30

What happens when you feel totally disoriented and low in life ?
You either post like this and make sure nobody understands or you decide to live through it and come out stronger, happier and all the more hyper dyperly recharged. I decided to do both ! :D
Get some animated character to throw a treat, crash there, and make them talk their brains out and leave him/her feeling "fundamentally screwed" :D You get good food plus entertainment for free !

And yes, if all you bloggers have nothing productive to do next Saturday, Crash here and end 2006 in a bajjistic way. Even if you have anything productive to do on the 30th, chuck it and land up at the Besant Nagar beach, spot the noisiest bunch of people near the police booth opposite to Cozy and join them wide eyed.
I've been to a small-scale-bajji-meet and can personally vouch for it to turn out to be an amazing fun experience ! If you have nothing to say, just nod to whatever others say, smile sheepishly and gobble those bajjis !

For Dumbos - CLICK HERE

P.S : Yes, I've decided to make bold statements ! :D :D