A year back, a teenager was introduced to blogging by her friend. She was enthusiastic to get her cryptic mind to churn out some quality stuff and the thought of personal cyber space was way too exciting for her. There she sat, reading all the blogs that her friend had suggested. There were quite some good writers out there and they were really serious about what they put up on their blogs. She started thinking if she would be able to do justice to her space. She didn't want this to be yet another blog. She never liked being a face in the crowd.
But something propelled her to start one, and she started writing on a daily basis. She waited for comments. There came none. She crazily bloghopped and very sincerely left a comment on their posts. Then she started believing that she wrote only for herself and it mattered only to her. A few friends commented religiously on every post. But there were a few who would comment, only if you commented on theirs. Ha! Slowly she forgot about the comments. It didn't matter much to her. She decided that her blog would testify her transition. Later she added statcounters, put up a shoutbox, enrolled for the google adsense for the technological transition. She made some real good friends and learnt a lot in the process of keying in those posts. There are lots of things that made no sense to the world, but meant a lot to her.

Today she sits here typing her 93rd post on the day of her blog's first birthday.

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Aug 24th 2005.
That day is etched in my mind. The day I walked into my campus with a totally apprehensive mind. New place, new people, unfamiliar territories, it was a new beginning. I had my doubts if I would be able to manage all this. Is engineering for me? Its a rat race that I'm joining. I would still be a rat at the end of it. I put aside all these thoughts. It was hard to not let them haunt me.I missed my friends from school, I hated it all. I began to rue my fate.
But then I've grown to accept all this and do note, I'm not saying that I'm liking it. I've just gotten used to it. Semester one passed by and in semester 2 I again started doubting if I had made a mistake. But then all this is over. I've got to finish my course and get a life of my own. I've climbed 2 rungs in the engineering ladder and in the process have learnt a lot of things. Am mentally, academically, physically, spiritually an year older and atleast definitely possess a maturity level higher than what I did last year.
And this blog will stand testimonial of all this.

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Sumana was the single mother of a 14 year old Riya. The unexpected demise of her husband in a plane crash had nearly swept the ground from beneath her feet. She was struggling in the moribund city life to cater to her daughter's education expenses and other needs. Being an advocate didn't have many monetary advantages.
She fought cases and solved almost everyone's problems, but was quite unaware of what was happening in her own house.
Riya had grown up all by herself. She longed for her mother's affection, but Sumana was too busy making ends meet that she was resorted to communicating with her daughter through calls and notes pinned on the fridge. The rift started widening slowly. Riya secluded herself from everyone. Nobody bothered about her. Everyone only seemed to care, no one really did. Her life was so neatly messed up now that nobody could set it right.
Then he came. Slowly, stealthily, like a crook. She smiled at him, he smiled back. Riya was happy that atleast he came to her. She spilled her heart out to him. He proved to be a patient listener. She embraced him and found her peace. Eternal peace.
Sumana cried as she lost her daughter and only hope in life. Death, again! How would she survive this one now?

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After much procrastination and postponing and strikes and cancelled model exams- my semester exams have finally come to an end! Wheeeeeeeee!!! After 2 weeks of sleep starvation, papers strewn all over the room, "I have so much more to study" phone calls and food being literally forced down my throat by mother and grandmother I'm now sitting and listening to soothing music with dark circles all around my burning eyes. I can hear my mum yelling from the kitchen asking me to get off the computer and sleep. To add onto that my mind is so neatly messed up now that I'm not even able to think coherently. Only sleep can clear all the academic trash out.
Am outta here, only for a few hours!
The sagittarian shall return!

PS: Don't take this as my come-back post, it shall be a poem tomorrow! Hang in there.

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Update:- Thank you all for your sympathies. My thumb is fine now. Environmental engg was the only paper where I had so much to write and I wasn't able to write. Now my thumb is fine and I can write, but have nothing to write. Makes no sense eh? Bah! Exams finishing on 15th. Lots of posts in mind, let's see how many materialize.

Lady luck has always conspired against me in times of need. It is only yesterday that I posted here about me writing a long paper on the environment. Minutes after posting I jammed my right thumb between the lift doors and sported a nice cut behind my thumb nail. After a long tirade from mom on being more careful atleast during exams, I settled down with the book in my lap. I took out a paper and tried writing. The wound stung and I winced in pain. I left it at that and started to rue my fate.
The moment I saw the question paper today morning, my hopes soared! I actually knew most of the answers. Now came the tricky part, I had to write. I held the pen, took a deep breath and started on with what Genetic Diversity meant. It wasn't bad, the wound had healed partially. I swooshed my way through almost all the long answers. That's when the bleeding began. Damn! My bandaid had came off and my palm was sweaty. I had a full section remaining with 10 questions. I wiped my hands on the tissue I had. Blood again. But the tissue was doing a good job of sealing the wound. I managed to put in the key points and submitted a blood stained paper.
Bloody paper that was! Sheesh!

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Finally, exams have started after a long wait indeed. I'm done with Math, Physics and Chemistry. And am so glad I won't ever touch a Physics or Chemistry book ever in my life ! (that's what I think with my performance!! :p)
Anyways, I've got 4 more papers of which I'm dreading two. That's not until next week, so I have enough time to panic.
Alright, I'm not able to sponge more out of my sleep-starved mental state.I'm off to catch up on my sleep and yes, I've got Environmental Engineering day after and I'm yet to hunt down the book. Now that's one paper where most of us showcase our creative writing abilities. Wish me luck! I'll be back soon.... really soon!

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"When things seem unsure, anxiety heightens."

I've realised a few things in life are worth nothing at all.
I've realised people who really love you, never show it.
I've realised words can never express the inner feelings, tears can.
I've realised people close to you, don't really care, its the ones who are unknown are farther.
I've realised that its taken me 18 years to realise so much!

But better late than never !

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